


Pain And Healing

by Imabitchforthecomics (Fuckensmiles)



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Anal Sex, BDSM, Fluff, Multi, Oral Sex, Past Abuse, Past Rape/Non-con, Past Violence, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Sex, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-31
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:00:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 64,205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28460529
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fuckensmiles/pseuds/Imabitchforthecomics
Summary: I wanted to write a story about Levi, I think he needs love and healing for all the terrible things he's endured, I also think he's a virgin in his 30s that moans just from a simple kiss, long story short Levi finds love and has a hard time dealing with it.The story follows the end of season three and throughout Season four.
Relationships: Levi/Reader
Comments: 15
Kudos: 70





	1. I'm Not A Prostitute!

**Author's Note:**

> The Reader is a type of entertainer Hange paid to bring fun and good times to her and her Comrades for a celebration. The Reader takes the job and brings her best entertainers to help. Once she arrives she gives herself the hardest Job of all, entertaining the short man glaring at her from the moment she walked in. Captain Levi, She heard from Hange he's a cold man who would most likely hate anything she tries but she's determined to keep him enthused even if it's just for the night.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Violence, BDSM, Smut, Fluff, piss

After the End of season three:

A celebration is underway, after fixing the outside and inner walls of Shiganshina along with Trost the economy flourished, the people returned to their homelands with hope in their hearts, The scouts saw the sea and had an idea for the next step forward, the wind of change was in the air along with the smell of meat and fresh bread.

Inside a local bar, all soldiers who walk in are being treated to free ale, thanks to Mr. Reeves and the lovely family who owns the establishment. Just showing there thanks to the scouts for their hard work. 

"Cheers!" Jean shouts with his head up high, clanking his comrades' mugs. "It was a lot of hard work but we can finally kick back, even if it's just for tonight!"

"We still have a lot of work to do," Armin said with an enthusiastic smile, "but, were so close to finding out the truth!"

"Let's enjoy ourselves! And be happy we're not the sad schmucks on duty tonight!" Connie added.

Eren was silent even with all the celebratory shouting and laughter, He’s been a little out of his character, ever since he saw the ocean he's been different, changed…

"Eren?"

Mikasa pats him on the shoulder and the delicate touch snapped him out of his thoughts, he smiles to his friends as if he wasn't just spiraling into a murderous state. 

"Sorry guys, what are we doing?" He laughs with a shy smile, a hand rubbing the back of his neck.

"Celebrating," Armin said with concern, "we got our home back."

"Yeah," Eren smiled widely as he nods, "we did!" He raises his mug, "Cheers to that!" 

The boys clank their mugs yet again. Letting Eren's behavior go at least for tonight.

Across the bar, Levi Ackermann sat at the end of a long table, beside him sat Commander Hange.

Levi leans back in his chair, he looks unapproachable, unimpressed and unamused. 

"Lighten up Levi" Hange smiles, elbow on the table chin resting on her fist, her eyes filled with light, "It's a small victory! You should try and have a good time."

"Social gatherings are not what I'd call a 'good time'" he grumbled through half-lidded eyes. 

"I thought you'd say that," Hange eyes the door, unable to sit still, "and that's why I have to apologize in advance."

Levi's cold blue eyes twitch, 

"What did you do?" 

Hange just grins hoping for forgiveness. And as if on cue some women and men in questionable clothing walk into the bar. 

"Ok people," you walk in clapping your hands, being the only one in regular clothes, dark brown high waisted trousers with a white flowy long sleeve blouse, nicely pressed and tucked in. You lead your team with great leadership. "go out and make sure our sweet soldiers are happy!" The entertainers leave your side watch and search the room for those looking for a good time. You stood there a moment then took a breath of pride seeing it's going well, people are already smiling and warming up to your co-workers. Your head turns to a seat across from the person who gave you the job.

"Hange was it?" You said with a smirk taking the seat. 

"Oh yes, Maam," she says back, "thanks for coming!"

"Please,” you wave a hand dismissively, “anything for our saviors, My guys and gals always look forward to showing you their appreciation to our brace military." 

As you sat there you felt an unsettling feeling, a chill down your spine, In the corner of your eye, there's a boy? Man? Manboy? Looking down at you. your brow furrows as you eye the man, only in the eye, you felt breaking contact would appear to be an act of submission. Perhaps you should sit up straight, you do just that. His disgusted stare stayed on you for a little longer than he turned away and drank his wine.

After that rather odd inneration, You turn back to the crowd and catch something troublesome, quickly, you grab the wrist of one of your girls who just so happened to be walking by.

"Oh! Yes Ms (Y/n)" she stays in your grasp awaiting for what you have to say.

"Go over there and stop Marline,” you let her go to point in the direction, she follows your finger with her eyes, “the girl in the red scarf is looking extremely pissed off, let everyone know not to make the same mistake, the boy's been claimed." 

"Oh! Yes right away!" She says quickly moving to relinquish a soon to fight.

Hange eavesdropped in your conversation and looks to be impressed with your observation.

"Wow, that was quick thinking," she compliments you and you tilt your head grinning.

"Thanks, it's my job to be observant, can't have sour faces while I'm around!" you relax into the chair, swinging an arm over the back. 

"Well then let me be the first to tell you not to feel bad about our Captain here," your attention goes to the shortie with the scowl sitting next to you at the end of the table. "He's not one for good times." Hange jeered.

"Oh is that so?" You mused, giving him a good look. So this is Captain Levi? You thought, "Sounds like a challenge," you raise your head up confidently, "I'm in," you say as if it was now your mission to make this sad boy enthused.

"Tch" Levi slouches, eyes looking away from you, "Don't, it is a waste of time, there are plenty other soldier's here who need a pick up more than I do."

"Oh, somehow I doubt that," you said, crossing your legs under the table, turning your body to him. "I have a feeling you may be the one who needs it the most, Captain" you grin. 

Levi unenthused looked over to Hange ready to give them a good scolding but they were already out of their chair and mingling with one of your many handsome men.

"See that," you give him the side-eye and he gives you no emotion but looks at what you're talking about. "I knew your Commander liked the intellectual types, that guy she is talking to is studying to be a titan specialist, not only will he sit and listen, he will take notes!" you clap your hands and hold them together, gushing over your handiwork. 

Levi glances to his commander, she’s smiling and blushing talking about her passion, though he hates to admit it, her joy does make him happy, all his comrades matter to him, but this woman…. His eyes go back to you, he has no room in his heart to care about you. But he won't leave his seat either, if he did he would look weak, guess he's stuck here...

"Where did she even find you?” he crinkles his nose with disgust, “A brothel? If that's the case please move as far away from me as possible."

"Woah,” you put your hands up, if glares could burn, you would be set ablaze, “you got me all wrong Kid, were entertainers not prostitutes."

His brows connect his nose flares.

"I am not a child, I'm damn older than you, So treat me as your senior!"

He watched your eyes dilate and your grin get even bigger. Your trouble, he can tell that much by the way you hold yourself.

"Ah, I see, I apologize,” you say with honest eyes. “Please let me fix this misunderstanding," your head turned to scan the bar for your co-workers, "what kinda girl you like?"

"Not interested," he says, arms now crossed.

"Oh, a boy then? Let's see theirs" 

"Not interested in that either,” his pouts, “you acted so smugly on your skills but it looks like to me you know nothing about what people want."

"See that's where you're wrong Captain," you eye him all cool and collected like, "I already picked the perfect person for you, and say all you want about me being wrong but, you have already been talking to me for five minutes now."

Levi’s mouth twists at your answer, how annoying, this situation he's in, he should just call it a night. But not till he knocks you down your high horse.

"Tell me, why do you think someone like you could seduce me? I couldn't even tell you're an entertainer, shouldn't you be in a skimpy dress like the others? Or do you just bank on their hard work?"

You wave a waiter for an ale, he clenches his jaw as you make him wait.

"Oh, I'm working just as hard as they are, maybe even harder," you nod to the waiter as he hands you your drink, "we were all paid in advance, what they take home belongs to them, and the dress thing well," you lean into him with flirtatious intent. "I think you look better in one, with those boyish features and all, you would put half my entertainers to shame."

Levi's had enough, he stood up and raised his chin as he glared down at you.

"You think you can get away with speaking to me this way? Do you have any idea who I am?! I don't care that your women, I won't hesitate to remind you of your place!"

"That," you point up at him, "that right there is what we have in common," you say, still completely relaxed.

What the hell? His eyes squint, He’s seconds away from gripping you by the collar and kicking you into the floorboards, yet you sit there with zero fear, that hasn't happened to him in a long time, no one talks back to him, they all knew better. Why don't you?

"How in the hell could that be what we have in common?" He asks with slight aggravation.

"When was the last time someone spoke to you like this? I assume a long time, it's exciting, right? How I'm not looking at you like your some god, that's why I'm not in a dress Levi, though I could still have done this in one," you look away from him to drink your ale, "We both like to remind people of there place, the only difference is I'm getting paid to do it."

"So you came here to talk back to me in front of my comrades? You think that's something I’d enjoy?"

"What? No,” you put your drink down and it’s your turn to squint at him, I'm only here as a fun entertainer, you want me to treat you with ill intent that has to be another time."

Levi stood a moment longer than sat back down, his eyes left you to see his comrades forking their money over to have your ‘entertainers’ dance or sit on their laps, it's all so disgusting. Her grimaces.

"I will not pay you, so if you choose to talk to me that's on you" he crosses his arms again.

"Oh, I figured that from the start, but that's ok, I'm not scratching for money, like I said I was already paid in advance."

There was a small silence for a moment, Levi took a rather big sip of his wine, you could tell he's agitated with you, but there is a scent of curiosity. 

"So, you're an entertainer?" His brow furrows as he takes another sip of wine, not even looking at you he asks, "What is that exactly?"

“You have a high alcohol tolerance don’t you?” you said with a tilt of the head.

“Yeah, takes a lot to get me off my ass, now answer my question.”

"Isn't it obvious?" You gesture to the room, "we entertain."

"Hm," he says looking bored again, his eyes trailing to Jean and Connie trembling with nerves all horned up by one of your girls giving them a provocative dance.

The boys then start a fight on who saw the girl first, you roll your eyes cursing under your breath, you send another one their way to resolve it.

"Phew" you look over to the dancers and laugh turning back to him.

"That could have been messy, I taught her that move by the way," you look back again, "she needs to arch her back a little though."

Levi slouches again, he’s becoming bored. 

"Why waste your time here when all the money is out there?"

"Oh I used to dance for men,” you say that with a curled lip, he could see your displeasure of the topic. “ I didn’t care for it, so I worked myself up and now I don't have to dance for anyone I don't want to, I also don't let them touch me, unless I want them too and nowadays that's as rare as seeing a titan."

"Well now I'm confused,” Levi relaxes his body and rests an arm on the table, the other one gripping the wine bottle. “Certainly you don't make your money just by talking to lonely basterds all night." 

"Ah, not all the time no, but that kinda money is made somewhere private, My clients never touch me, and yet they leave in pure bliss."

Levi leaned forward, somewhat interested.

"Your speaking of the ill intent you mentioned earlier?"

You nodded and he crossed his legs, turning his body to you, mimicking your body language, he awaits your explanation.

You lean forward as if it was a dirty secret, told only to a select few. 

"Have you ever heard of BDSM?"

Levi blinks in confusion, pulling himself back, 

"Can't say I have."

"It's a kink thing,” you eyes dilate with excitement, “it stands for," you put up a finger for each word you say. "Bondage, discipline, submission, and masochism."

Levi had a sparkle in his eyes though everything else about him was emotionless. That was your indication that you have his interest. He didn’t act upon his excitement he just went on business as usual. If you missed it you would have never known. 

"So what? You tie the Sorry Fuck to a bed and beat the shit out of him?"

"No, not a bed," you say shaking your head, "If there’s a bed They would think sex, that gives them the wrong idea."

"So a chair?" he questions.

"Huh?” That's where his mind wanders to, you raise a brow. “sometimes, it could be a table, the floor, I could tie them to a pipe in a cellar."

"And they pay you to be locked up in such disgusting places?" Levi grimaces.

You grin eyes crinkled. 

"They smile up at me like a pig in the mud"

Levi’s eyes widen and he turns his head away from you.

"Who in their right minds would want that?"

"You would love it." 

Quickly his eyes twitched and his turns back to glare at you.

"What would make you think I would want that?! I'm not filth, I hate filth!"

"Oh that's obvious, I knew you were a clean freak the moment I saw you, not a stain on your clothes, that and the chair along with your side of the table has been recently wiped down. Oh and Hange also told me to take a bath before coming here."

"So why me?” he asked defensively, "Why would I smile like a pig?”

"Imagine, and bear with me,” you open your hands out. “I tie you up, to a chair, I look down at you, call you dirt, filth, a bastard. I beat you down, till your walls crumble and your real expressions surface, I wipe the pout right off your face and then I…." You look to the right, and he leans forward with anticipation, "I don't know if I should tell you…" 

He tilts his head looking rather irritated, he leans back on his chair and looks away to side glance you.

"Tell me."

You go to open your mouth till you're interrupted by a drunk bald, old man.

"You're not gonna have any fun with this boy young lady,"

You two look up to the wrinkled bags of the smiling drunk.

"Commander Pixis," Captain Levi addresses him, "Sorry but we're in the middle of a conversation."

"Are you now?” Commander Pixis smugly tucks his chin in, “Well looks like she's bored half to death just sitting here,” His eyes find you and you give him the kind of smile he’s looking for, one you haven’t shown Levi, a sweet giggly shy smile, “whatever he's paying you I'll double it"

"Oh, will you now?" You give Levi a coy look, his stare gets more irritated. "Well, you're in luck, this man hasn't paid me anything."

"Well then it's settled," Commander Pixis drops some money on the table, 

You side eye the money and give Levi a sigh and a shrug, 

"Well looks like-"

You stop talking when Levi drops the same amount onto the table! You bit your lip, trying to keep composure, you had little to no hope that he was actually gonna do that. 

"Huh, he's got you matched with Commander." you giggle, hand holding your cheek.

Pixis drops more money, so does Levi, you watch them go at it a little longer till you feel satisfied with the money in front of you.

"Ladies, ladies," you say smugly, "I do apologize Commander, but Levi and I have been building a rapport here, you can take your money and go see Cindy, she loves a well-seasoned man," you say with a wink.

"I see," he then looks to Levi, "I leave you to it then," he takes his money back and looks for Cindy.

Levi reaches out for his cash but your hands swiftly slides it away from him. You then smirk and bat your eyes.

"Well played," he says, "you were saying?"

"Oh right," you run your hand through your hair, dropping the sweet bimbo character, "I'll have to evaluate you," you look to his money in your hand, "guess this will cover the evaluation," you say shoving the money into your pocket.

"Hm?" His eyes furrow, unsure what you mean by evaluating him.

"How was your childhood?" you ask and he crosses his arms, 

"Dark and shitty."

"Who's wasn't," you said, stating the obvious, "I'll need a little more than that."

"Ok fine, my mother was a prostitute and died when I was very young. I was raised by my murderous uncle for a while, he taught me how to survive. He then left me when I was in the middle of winning a fight. After that, I was on my own, satisfied?" he pouts.

You took a moment to process.

"When you say it was dark, I assume you're talking about the underground city?"

Levi looked somewhat confused about how you figured that out. 

"Yes?"

"That's why you like to be so clean? Cuz it was so dirty down there?"

That must have been right, You could tell he is getting more and more interested in what you have to say, he’s back to mimicking your body language. 

"Ask me something else," he challenges,

"You got into fights? Were you a criminal for a while? Down there?" 

"If I was you think I'd answer that?" He says with his tired eyes.

"Nope," you grin, "punch or kick?"

"Kick?" he answered pretty quickly.

"Pat or slap?"

"Slap"

"Hate or love"

Levi’s eyes narrow, his head turned away slightly, what kind of bullshit question is that? 

"These questions are ridiculous," he says, eyes slowly looking away.

"Good thing I'm done with them," you say taking a sip of your ale.

"Well," he looks at you rather impatiently, "you gonna tell me now?" 

"No, you gotta come in and experience it yourself," you then go to get up, his eyes dart up to you as soon as you move.

"What?" he watches you get out of your seat, his gaze never leaves you.

"Meet me here" you hand him a piece of paper with an address written on it, "go there on your next day off, Hange told me when it was already so I'll be there, we can talk more than." you pause as your expressions soften, you look away from him to remember, "the first time I saw the sky I cried tears of joy, I wonder what it was like for you.”

“Wait” he demanded and you scoff turned back to him, “Give me something,” he kinda looked desperate, you lick your lips hand on his right shoulder you lean into his left ear.

“I bet you double the money you graciously gave me tonight, that when i'm done with you, you will be grinning like an idiot drenched in your own piss.”

Levi was speechless, just the thought alone was impossible to fathom.

"What the hell?…." He said aloud, watching you walk over to the guitarist and request a song, you then danced with the others, this felt like the right time to leave, he already feels like a jackass for actually giving you money. Even if you're not a Prostitute he still felt disgusted with himself. He went to get up but once he looked down he quickly sat back down.

His head down he hides the slight blush across his face, he gawks down at his rock hard cock. He couldn’t believe it! What the hell gotten into him?! He has no idea what to do, this never happened ever!?.

Levi just sits there frozen till his body calmed down, then he left the car and said nothing to noone just locked himself in his quarters.

….

The next day Levi went through the motions, he got out of his chair he slept in and changed into clean clothes. He then Bathed, cleaned, ate, worked and when work was over, bathed again, it went like that for days, each day they got closer to enilating all the Titans on the island. Once that was done he can fully succumb to the new stress of what he learned from Eren's basement. Not a day goes by that he's not angry and terrified, he seeks the truth and starves for the answer, if only Erwin was here, this is the kinda stuff he was living for….. It's all wasted on him… everything is wasted on him. 

Levi got himself in his chair at his desk, this is the time of the night he thinks of the beast Titan how he wasn't able to kill him, he will kill him, he clenches his fists, he promised. 

The only thing keeping him from spiraling down into his titan-riddled nightmares was thinking about that woman he met three days ago. He leans in the tree and thinks of her, three to four hours go by and his eyes finally close for the night. Insomnia is what the Doctors call it. It takes hours of overthinking till Levi’s brain finally shuts off and he can sleep, but the nightmares will wake him… if he’s lucky.

The next day, Levi opened his eyes and started his routine, during his lunch break he thought he'd switch it up and take a walk, if he wants alone time it is best to make himself scarce. Eren will only be on his case about the next mission if he goes to the mess hall, a walk is his best opportunity for quiet time. 

The path he took sent him to an orphanage for the kids from the underground, his tired eyes gaze at some children playing in the field, there seemed to be music in the air, it was so light-hearted he thought himself unwelcomed, even though he was one of the few people who fought for this place.

He walked over to the wooden gate and stood there, hand on hip, looking out to the children. Free of violence and pain of the underground, free in a world still so full of danger. But at least, his head tilts up to the sky, gazing at the clouds, at least they have a nice view.

His ears picked up a voice, a woman singing, the children who were running around the field moved quickly to the voice, his head turned to see the women with the pipes that could calm these brats. He saw her spinning in a circle as the children imitated her till they got dizzy. He’s unable to move eyes fixated on her, figuring out who she was.

"You?" He said too far for you to hear him, you didn't look in his direction till a child ran to you afraid of a kid staring at them from outside the farm.

Levi changed nothing of himself when your eyes fell on him. He watched you pick up the child and walk over to him.

He stood there waiting for you to come close.

"Hello, there stranger," you smirk. You then spoke to the child on your hip with a soft delicate voice, "See? There's nothing scary about this man," the little boy held onto you tightly as he eyes Levi with big scared eyes.

"What are you doing here?" Levi narrows his eyes, "Seems like an odd place for a woman like you."

The boy in your arms looked up at you with a head tilt. 

“What’s he mean Mis (Y/n)?”

You laugh awkwardly as you let the boy down.

"Go find your sister," you said and the boy nodded and ran off.

You sigh, eyes on Levi arms crossed.

"Kids are impressionable, please don't talk about that in front of them."

"You haven't answered my question yet," he says, with a little more hostility.

"Big Sis!" a young blond haired boy looked up to you then turned to look back at Levi, "who is that boy?"

You laughed as more kids gathered, one even got in front of you as if to protect you, Levi's eye twitched at yet again being called a boy. 

"Watch your words boy" he warns.

"Leave big Sis alone!" A freckled boy shouts.

"That's enough, Ryan," you say with hands on your hips, "now all of you listen to me," you spoke kindly, so kind Levi thought you were a completely different person. "That man right there is a hero, he's Captain Levi of the scouts and he along with the other soldiers saved us all from the Titans, so you need to treat him with kindness and respect."

The children gasped, now with starstruck eyes, they gaze up at him.

Levi wasn't sure what to do with all the attention.

"Really? Him?" Ryan questioned, he then tried to whisper, "He's so short," you hold in your laughter when Levi pouts and glares.

"Yeah? So are you brat."

The little guy started to sniffle, looking up at Levi like the monster he is, you didn't like that.

"Hey!" You holler at Levi, "where do you get off picking fights with kids! He was just curious about you." The boy then sticks his tongue out at Levi. Yet again you sigh.

"Ryan," you hiked your dress up a bit so you could sit on the grass to talk to the boy. "He can't help that he's short just like you can't help that you have freckles, it's how he was molded to look like, now, would you like it if I made fun of your brown hair?" 

"What's so funny about freckles?" Ryan argued with a rude look on his face, "Lots of people have freckles."

"Yes,” you nod patiently, “and lots of people are short, so let's apologize and thank the man for his service."

Ryan pouts, not one to be ordered around, it reminded Levi of himself, till the boy looked up at him and apologized. 

"I'm sorry I called you short and Thank you for saving us from the Titans,” Ryan grumbles.

"Yeah! Thank you!" Said the blond boy. 

Levi looked uncomfortable, soon he had all these orphans thanking him.

"Uh... your welcome.."

Ryan then looks back to you, "Can I go back to playing now?"

"Sure, thank you for protecting me, your very brave Ryan" you smile rubbing dirt off the child's cheek, he looks to be embarrassed but also very happy with your praise, he then runs off with the blond boy.

"Go play kids, I’m gonna chat with our hero," You said and they all ran off to play.

Once gone you could no longer hold it in.

"Hahahahahaahh!” you bend over holding your gut, “I'm so sorry about my kid's Captain!" 

"You don't look sorry." He barks as you continue to laugh.

"Your right, sorry." you breathe, catching your breath, "Kids are just curious, you saw the look in their eyes once they found out you're a hero."

"Stop calling me that," Levi demands and your hands go up.

"Feel uncomfortable with praise, I can respect that, but that just makes you more humble," you wink, "you strike me as a tea kinda guy," you open the gate, "come," you say, already walking off towards the farmhouse. 

Levi was hesitant, why did he want to waste his alone time here? 

“Tch” and just like that he walks through the gate and into the farm.

You sit him at a table outside, near the garden you and the kids have been working on, Levi could see all kinds of flowers growing in the bed, along with vegetables and little signs with names of the children who helped plant them. You came back to the table holding teacups and a kettle. Levi watched the children play, he could tell that a young boy by the name of Ryan was glaring at him, he laughed a very short laugh to himself. And you caught him.

"What?" You smile, pouring him tea. He places his hand on top of the cup and brings it to his lips.

"You have an admirer," he says sipping his tea eyeing Ryan.

Your eyes immediately search for Ryan who quickly turns away once you see him, you giggle.

"Oh, yeah, Ryan's set on being my prince, hope you don't mind the competition," you tease and he shows no expression.

"I have no idea what you're talking about." He says back.

You eye him up and down and fan yourself.

"You know, seeing you in full uniform is quite exciting," you say sitting in a chair across from him.

Levi sits up straight, crossing a leg over the other.

"Your dress is covered in dirt," he says back.

You eye the grass and dirt, stained into your dress. And grin.

"A sacrifice for playing with the kids," you say chin up high, "I wear it with pride."

"Tch" Levi goes to sip his tea.

"Is there something you wanted?" You asked, getting a little agitated with the guys sour as shit attitude.

"Oh, right," he places the teacup down. "do you work here?"

"Me? No, I volunteer," you said drinking your tea. 

That answer didn't make sense to Levi, he squints at you.

"Why?" 

You place your teacup down and gaze at the happy children,

"You ever wonder what we'd be like if we had someone kind looking after us? Because I'm here even if it’s only twice a week, these kids have joy in their hearts even after they lost their families, even after all they've seen, they still show me that they have love to give."

"Hm," he says unsure how to answer. "So you show the young compassion and the old and wicked torment?" 

"Ha! Exactly!" You chuckle with a finger in the air, "I'm a complicated girl, guess I'll never be courted."

Levi furrows his brow, you just confuse him, but he couldn't help but think about what you said. If someone likes you were there for him when he was a child, would he have been better off? Would he not feel like such a demon? Maybe he would have been like that Freckled kid, sword fighting the blondie in the field? 

"My day off is tomorrow," he says, turning his gaze back at you, taken aback to why he told you that.

"Oh?" You nod, "So it is… any plans?" you ask sipping your tea.

"Honestly, Not sure yet," he says, maintaining eye contact.

"Well, I guess will wait and see then" you smile kindly, getting out of your chair.

Levi got out of his chair as well,

"Thank you for the tea."

"Thank you for the company," you say back before telling the kids to come inside.

That was his cue to walk off before he met with more tiney eyes.

Once the kids were inside you read them a story and got them ready for nap time. You sneak away once there all asleep, you hate seeing their sad faces when you leave so this is the best way to get home guilt-free.

……..

Home wasn't much to look at but it belonged to you and no one else, you worked hard for the roof over your head and you're proud of it. You unlocked the door and walked in placing your coat on the rack and lighting candle lamps. You cooked yourself a meal and ignored the dishes piling up in your sink, you sat and ate alone. Usually, you would have a friend come by and spend the night playing cards, drinking shit wine, and telling shit stories but tonight, you wanted the silence to think of what to set up for The Captain of the scouts, you grin to yourself. 

“Tomorrow will be perfect!”

The next day. Mid afternoon.

Levi checked the address, again and again, making sure he was at the right place. He had to travel two hours to get here, he can’t believe he actually went through all this trouble for a woman like you. He stood there looking up at the building in his civilian clothes, a black jacket looked to be quite expensive, underneath a grey dress shirt. The building looked normal, not at all what he was expecting, once he checked no one recognizable was roaming the streets, he felt confident enough to go inside, big mistake.

He walked in and the door closed behind him, about 183 meters in front of him was a dark wine red check in desk, A woman dressed in pink delicate lingerie, And A young man also dressed in delicate lingerie, but red, stood beside it, they both eyed him as soon as they heard the door close shut.

"Hello, there stranger," the woman in pink smirked, a rather tall strawberry blond.

"Are you looking for a good time Hun?" The Young man in red winked. More short blond with glitter on his chest. 

Levi immediately felt like turning around and leaving, you lied to him, this is a brothel and he needs to wash the filth off him immediately.

A step back was all he took, and just like before he stopped, letting his ears follow the sound of a familiar voice. 

"Will this day ever end?" You groan, walking over to the desk, you're dressed like a housewife, you even wore a wig, "my last guy unraveled so quickly, stupid rich fuck had me dress like his ex-wife” you then chuckle, “I had him drink out of a dog dish," the others laugh with you and you take a breath, "I need a shower.." 

Levi stood there, felt now was a good time to make himself known.

"So you are a prostitute," he said, not surprised. 

The front desk workers gasped, unhappy with such an insult.

You roll your eyes.

"It's ok," you said smiling to your co-workers, "I'll make sure he apologizes."

You then get behind the desk and pull out a file with papers inside, you sort through them with your fingers making sure it's all there, they are you then walk over to Levi and hand them to him along with a writing utensil. He takes it with an annoying expression.

"We are not prostitutes," you say with slight hostility. "Read the agreements and make sure to sign the very last page. On the second page are options for you to choose from, even a little section where you can recommend things, read it all thoroughly," you instruct him with a serious tone. "Wait here while I take a shower, hand it to the front desk when you're done and they will bring it to me then lead you to your room." 

Levi glares at you, taking in all your instructions, in that moment you thought he was gonna turn around and leave, he sits down, crosses his legs and reads over the contract. 

You hid your udder joy for what's to come, spun on your heel and giddily walked off to clean yourself up.

Levi took his time reading every paragraph, every sentence, last thing he wants is to miss something and end up with a small creature up his ass. 

From what Levi was reading, if he was to sign this document, you are legally allowed to perform certain acts that he agrees to, on the second page is a list of acts he can choose from, there are many on the list that looked to be extreme and profound. 

Levi circled what he felt he could handle on his first time here.

Bondage, bondage to sturdy objects, such as pipes and chairs, gagging, verbal assault, physical assault, that was all he was comfortable with.

The list seemed endless and unsavory the more he went down. The bottom of the page has a section where he can add in something he wants in particular, and in that he wrote,

'Put me in my place'

The third page was a list of outfits and wigs, they provide for you to wear for him, he didn't care about your appearance, as long as you are clean, so he just circled the dealer's choice. Finally at the end of the documents is a line where his signature goes.

He took a breath, his writing utensil ghosting the signature line. Is this a good idea? What the hell led him to this moment? “Tch” what the hell, he signs it, it’s probably a joke anyway. He then got up and handed the folder over to the lady in pink. He pays more than what he found reasonable. Levi then gives an unimpressed look at the young man gawking at him behind the front desk, the young man twirls his curly hair with his finger. He must still be upset with Levi for calling you all prostitutes. 

"I hope she puts you through the wringer shortie" He then walks away with the papers.

"Tch" Levi looks away from him, burying the burning urge to knock his teeth in with one swift kick. 

"Follow me," the woman in pink says, giving him the side eye, Levi follows her arms crossed.

"Here's your room," she smirks devilishly, "Ms (Y/n) picked it out just for you."

"Thanks," he said walking in, she closed the door behind him.

Levi took a good look at the room, he's unimpressed, the room was as big as a dining hall, there's a table with two chairs, it's poorly lit but looked to be fairly sanitized, there was a support beam in the middle of the room and a tub at the very back.

"So this is where she will bind me," he says, placing a hand on the beam. Kinda reminds him of when he kicked Eren's teeth in, perhaps this is his karma? No he did that strategically to save him, perhaps this is more like irony…. His face twists when dust floats in the air from him touching the beam.

He removes his hand once he feels filth covering his fingers, he looks at his open hand with disgust, he takes out his white rag to wipe his hand and that's when he notices a bucket by his feet, he squats down to analyze it, there's warm water and a rag inside. 

"She left this for me didn't she?" He thought aloud.

…

You take your time in the shower, the waters perfect. You sigh lathering yourself with soap, you want to be absolutely clean. Once done you dried yourself off and went over Levi's forms Jeremy (The Young Man from the front counter) left for you. All the circles made sense, it was obvious he came for a beating, and from what he wrote in the notes shows he wants it to hurt.

You frowned seeing he circled Dealers choice, picking that option made it hard for you to figure out the type of women he likes. You scoff, rolling your eyes, you grab a towel and wrap it around you then go straight to your dressing room. You brush your hair and ignore all your makeup, then move to the closet, stood there scanning all the clothes thinking, what would work on a man like Levi… 

“Lets see….” you move hanged clothes to the side as you look through, “A guy from the underground, a thief turned into a soldier, probably hates authority, can’t imagine why he would join the military in the first place, then it hits you. Quickly you search for the costume, hoping you didn't toss it. Oh! There it is! You grab a full Military Police costume from the back of your closet and grin ear to ear, “Perfect!”

….

Levi looked to the open door, you're in a robe, he felt relieved when he saw a hint of clothing when you got closer. Levi’s black coat was off and hung over a chair, he's wearing gloves, as he eyes you he plops the rag in the bucket.

"That thing was filthy," he stated, taking off the gloves and washing his hands in the utility sink, "just the thought of being bound to it in that state had my skin crawling."

"Levi," you gush, holding a water pitcher and two glasses, his file held in the side of your arm, "sit with me at the table." 

He eyes your giddy smile, it reminded him of Hange when she spoke about Titans, this can’t be good.

"Fine," he says, drying his hands, he then unrolls his sleeves and moves to the table.

He looks so poise, sitting there, you wouldn't have known he was from the underground, he holds himself to a high standard. Your smile twists, You're gonna have a blast kicking him down to size.

"Ok, so you paid upfront yes?" you ask, opening his file.

"Yes, so this better is worth my while," he says clearly agitated.

"Oh, well I sure hope so,” you bat your eyes at him, “cuz you already signed and it's non-refundable," you pour water into one glass, "now let's move on, you flip through the pages, the safe word you picked is stop?" You look at him for an explanation.

"Seemed like the obvious choice," he said back, crossing his arms and leaning back in his chair.

"You gotta pick another one, your body's gonna want you to say stop, but you may not necessarily want to, thus a safe word, so pick another."

Levi sat there and thought.

"I don't care," he looks away from you, "you pick." 

You grin with devilish intent, 

"Fine, your safe word will be, 'I surrender'"

Levi made a face of disgust but lets it go,

"Fine, I won't need it anyway."

"Oh will see about that," you grin, "Now, I wanna let you know that whatever you say, whatever we do is all confidential, I can't and will not tell anyone about what we do here, I can't even say that I see you."

"Good,” Levi groused, “otherwise I wouldn't be here." 

"Sure sure, where was I?” you read over the paper, finding where you left off, “Ah right, you wrote in the note section to 'put you in your place,'" you show him and he nods.

"Yeah."

You lean forward making sure to get your point across.

"I hope you know I will be acting on this request creatively and if you were to use your safe word, that would mean that you are weak."

"Can we just get this over with?" he retorts. 

"One last thing, you may not under any circumstances, touch me, unless I permit you to, if you touch me with intent to harm I will call this off and find your actions as a breach of contract. Understand me?"

"Sure" Levi slouches, 

"I need you to say yes or no"

Levi sighs, sitting up straight he looks to you.

"Yes"

"Great!" You smile removing the file from the table and placing it up in a cupboard. You sit back down and breathe in deep, then breathe out slowly.

"Now, you ready?" 

"Yes" and with the quick answer, the robe is off and the bottom of your boot is on his grey dress shirt, using all your force you kicked his chair down to the floor, Levi grunts upon impact, you grip his collar and drag him to the beam, shoving him against it, you straddle him and grip his wrists.

Levi's instincts kick in, you really caught him off guard, the outfit alone had him stuck staring but he snapped out of it once you had him against the beam. He shoves you down, climbs on top of you, and raises a fist, his eyes had murder in them it was somthing out of a nightmare, all you could do was shield yourself, he looked at your terrified face and stopped himself. 

"Damn," he says getting off of you, "forgive me I didn't mean to"

"No, it's ok," you said sitting up, rubbing the back of your head. "That was just a practice run, though if you did go through with it, I'd have to press charges, I'm happy you could stop yourself. I gotta admit, you're my first soldier"

"Hm.." That was all he said.

"Are you ready to continue?" You asked, 

Levi said nothing, he just shifted himself against the beam and wrapped his arms submissively behind it.

You go to the other side and shackled his wrists. He just sat there, eyes narrowed down. Till he felt your shadow above him, his chin tilts up to look at you.

"Now we can start…" you say hands on your hips, looking down at him, he glared back, “Your under arrest Soldier!” you say pretending to be someone with authority. 

Levi looked at you with disbelief he then looks away from you already over this whole experience, 

“What is this?” he breaths eyes filled with disapproval. 

You just turn your back to grab a glass off the table, 

“For your crimes from the Underground,” you tilt you head and smirk smugly, “What did you think they never catch up to you?”

Levi scoffs,

“Oh, I see,” Levi looks to you unimpressed he patronizes you, “This is some kind of shitty role play?”

Levi figured he's gonna be here for a while since you also brought the pitcher. 

You sat down near him with the glass in hand.

"You've been tried and convicted,” you spoke sternly but Levi doesn't take you seriously. 

“What’s my punishment? Gonna bend me over and spank me?” he turns his head forward and away from you, “you look ridiculous.”

“You punishment, Captain,” you grin through half lidded eyes, “I'm gonna have you drink this water.”` You said showing him the full glass.

His mouth opens as he eyes you like you have two heads.

“What kind of punishment is that?”

“Can’t do the time, don’t do the crime,” you shrug.

“Tch” He narrows his eyes at the glass suspiciously. 

"You trying to drug me?"

You sigh, 

"Big brain time Captain, you're already tied up, why would I need to drug you?"

Levi thought about that, 

"Is the glass clean?" 

"Clean enough" you shrug and he grimaces,

"I just washed them before coming in here, now am I gonna have to plug your nose and make you choke on it?"

Levi eyes you with those cold blue eyes.

"The hard way it is" you make moves to pinch his nose and he turns his head.

"Wait!” he hisses, “I'll drink it.”

"A change of heart?" You question.

"rather that then have your hands on me," he says with all intent to insult you.

"Such a charmer," you say sarcastically, "now drink up" 

Levi wanted to back away from the glass you inched towards his lips, but he remained calm, this is nothing, he opens his mouth and drinks the water slowly as you tip it.

"Don't stop now," you press, "drink it all." 

Levi does as you ask, and when he was done he seemed bored. Till he saw you pouring water into the glass again.

"I've had my fill" he raises his voice slightly.

"That sounded a lot like a warning," you look at him bringing the glass back into his face. He turns his head.

"I said that's enough!"

You lean into his ear,

"Ohhhhh, Captain" you moan, "surely this isn't where you break. It's just a little water."

He flatlines his mouth, acting as if that didn't make his skin crawl, he's been called captain for years but never has it been spoken to him so seductively. 

"What is this? You showing your power over me?"

"Captain, this is nearly just the punishment for your crimes" you say hand on your cheek. "Now be a good little soldier and drink it all."

His eyes are like daggers, stabbing into you, he didn't blink, he just drank, and drank.

This seems like a perfect time, you thought.

You lay a hand on his chest and search for it, once found you pinch his left nipple, he's so off guard he chokes, coughing up water all over himself.

You laugh not just to taunt him, you laugh cuz it’s all just so funny.

"Oh, goodness look at you, your soaked, poor Captain Levi,” you shake your head as you partanize him, “look how your clothes grip onto your skin." Your run hands all over his body.

"*cough* ah! *cough* you bitch" he rasps. 

"Awww it's ok," you take out a clean cloth and wipe his face, the look he gives you screams back off! But you still reached in even if it meant that pain was in your future. "You wanna hurt me? Levi?" You ask wiping his face, he turns every witch way and you just follow along with the rag, "Your eyes are telling me a story," you toss the rag.

"Up yours, this is ridiculous." 

You pour the last of the water.

And his eye twitches, 

You smile smugly then take a sip, eyes never leaving his, he watches with great discomfort as you spit the water back into the glass, you swirl the glass happily as you hum, watching all the water get acquainted with your saliva. 

He's appalled, 

"I am not gonna drink that, you even bring that near me I'll break your hand" 

"Break it, with what? You gonna kick it out of my hands?"

"Yes," he said dead set to do so, 

"But then you might cut me, and that breaks the contract, I guess you're gonna have to use the safe word,” you shake your head and frown, “wow this is all the strongest man alive can handle?"

"Fuck you" he grumbles and you laugh, 

"Nah, I don't think you be all that good of a lay." 

You got close enough to him to grip his shoulders and swing a leg over to sit on his lap and pinch his nose, shoving his head back against the beam, you figure his next move was to kick you so eliminating that was crucial, you can feel him fighting back he's trying to lunge his head forward.

"Calm down Levi!" You struggle to keep him detained. "You head but me, and I'll most likely become concussed."

Levi couldn't believe it, believe you! This fragile woman has him beat!? If he didn't care about human life he'd easily kill you, but here he is gripping for air.

You can see his chest rising,

"Don't be stubborn!" You scold, "You're gonna turn blue soon!" You start to get worried that he would rather die than drink your spit, "look, if you're worried about diseases, I've told you I don't let my clients touch me, that involves my lips. 

His eyes look to you and you can see he's struggling.

Levi can't hold it any longer, he exhales and inhales, you give him a second to catch his breath then shoved the glass in his face, his eyes close and he drinks, and drinks, your smile never leaves you watching his Adam's apple bob up and down. His eyes closed the entire time, face all scrunched up, you didn't let go of his nose till he was nearly done, the glass was empty and you quickly got off him.

He kicks as far as he can, you're lucky you moved out of the way, he shatters the pitcher under his heel, whatever water was left spilled, he shuffles himself to the other side of the beam. To keep himself dry, You stood there in awe.

"That was quite the act of defiance," you say arms on your sides.

Levi just spits on the floor in your direction, 

"Lovely," you rub your hands together, eager to move on, "well now that the easy stuff is done with, looks like your sentence is over! We can move to the hard stuff, stand up for me Soldier" 

Levi sighs, his shirts wet, he still has water dribbling down his chin, but still, he gets on his feet and stands for you.

You break the gap between you two and face him.

"Huh," you snort, "you and I are around the same height."

He clenches his jaw looking away from you.

"Those dark shadows under your eyes,” you analize him more closely, “you don't sleep well do you?" 

Levi breaths in then out slowly as you circled him.

"If you saw what I've seen, you wouldn't sleep either."

"Oh, I don't doubt that Captain," you say through half-lidded eyes, "I assume that the bed has been pretty lonely huh?" 

"Why would you think that?" he asked, finding what you said rude and personal.

"Oh you wear it on your blood-drenched sleeves, the fear of being close to anyone, they all die," you frown placing a delicate hand on his cheek, "or they leave you, like your Uncle?"

His eyes twitch,

"You trying to piss me off?" he turns his head away from your touch.

"No, I'm just tryna remind you that your petiole isn't as shiny as you think it is."

"You think I don't know that?" His eyes look away from you,

"You ready to feel something now?" You ask tilting your head sincerely at him,

He looked at you then his brows furrowed. 

"Yes…" 

You slap him hard, he said nothing just stood up, you couldn't even make him flinch.

You knee him in the ribs, this time you get a grunt, at least you think you do cuz when you look at him he barely looks phased.

You worry that taking on a soldier was a bad idea.

You beat down on him for what felt like ten minutes, your breathing heavy and getting tired.

In one last attempt to do some damage, you get behind him and slam a boot down on the back of his right knee, he falls to his knees, still nothing.

You kick him right in the face.

"Fuck!" He shouts,

"Ha," you smile, happy to finally get something, "that hurt huh?"

"No, your boot is covered in dirt!" He shouts up at you, "disgusting!" 

You look down at him with your mouth agape, 

"I bruised your face," you said with shock, "does that not hurt?" 

"It stings sure but nothing I'm not used too," he blinks,

You scoff, damn soldiers, this guy is tough as nails.

"You are a monster," you said, wanting to back away from him, he was just too bizarre.

Levi's face was the least of his problems, all the water you had him guzzle down is making a come back.

"Hey,” he calls up to you, “turns out this wasn't my thing, unchain me, I have to take a piss."

Your eyes light up, how could you almost forget?!

"You know like your bladder,” you breath heavy, still trying to catch your breath, “you like to hold things in," you put your hands on your knees bending over, “give me a moment,” you calm yourself and squat down to his level, he just looks at you impatiently, you reach a hand out to his head and give his hair a little tug reminding him whos incontrol, his eyes still cold, but also troubled. "maybe it's time to let all that pain go."

"What?" he narrows his eyes at you.

You move your free hand on his lower abdomen and apply some pressure.

His face twists, 

"St-stop!!"

You pull your hand back and grin, 

"Oh, I can kick the dog shit out of you but I can't poke you here?" 

"Just let me out, I told you I have to go."

"Ha! Oh come on captain," you giggle, pressing hard into his bladder, then get serious as you say, "Don’t you remember what I whispered in your ear at the bar?"

Levi's eyes widened something you haven't seen him do till now. 

"So you do have emotions..."

He breathed a little heavier once he figured out your plan, he’s absolutely disgusted he made sure you knew that just by the look on his face.

"Oh, don't look at me like that" you say standing back up to kick him in the face. 

He winces, not from pain or even the filth you just scraped off your boot, onto his cheek, he’s wincing cuz he has to go, badly. Levi swallows thickly, head bowed down, you bend over to grip his hair again, you position yourself in between his legs and drop yourself onto his lap he grunts from the pressure, face twists with pain, it’s a lovely sight.

"You know what I thought when I first saw you?" You ask, wiping the blood off his lower lip with your thumb. Slowly he looks at you with a flushed face.

"Keep your disgusting hands off me." he demanded.

"Don't interrupt me, Levi," you warn. "You're gonna make me lose my place," you grip his hair even tighter as you try to remember where you were last. "Oh! Right, when I first laid eyes on your soft rude evil little face, the thought running through my head was," you smile as you reminisce, even blush, "gosh!” your eyes go wide, “I bet that guy makes the most vulnerable face when he orgasms." 

Levi had trouble keeping eye contact after you said that. You loved it, you embarrassed him! You bite your lip eyeing him like he was your prey, that ended quickly, Levi got over his embarrassment and went back to glaring.

"If you're trying to get me to desire you, binding me to a beam and forcing me to piss myself is not the right way to do it!" 

"Not a prostitute Captain,” you let go of his hair, “just sharing my thoughts." 

"I could care less of what goes through your twisted fucking head" he fummed.

"Come on, Think of how good it will feel to let all that pain and stress out." 

Levi looked away to think of options, hold it in, or use that fucken safe word and admit he’s weak to you, both shitty outcomes, but which one is the shittyist? Levi is pulled from his thoughts when you gripped him by the belt and pulled him under you, he gasped head now on the disgusting floor. His eyes agitated, staring up at you bearing his teeth.

You crawl on top of him. Smirking down at his twisted expresion. your hands down on each side of his head you lower yourself down, resting your weight on top of him. Lifting your left knee to not only rub on his bladder but to rub what's between his legs. 

“Ah,” he let out a breath that made him wanna die, never had he felt so degraded, to be touched there like this, it’s disgusting. He starts to squirm under you, his right knee raises up and dings you between the legs. Blush covers your face from the sudden contact. He saw that.

You immediately slap him, slap him hard, so hard it stung your hand. 

"Bring your damn knee down you pathetic tiny man!" you demand.

"Wow," he says, eyes on your heating up the complexion, "I'm the one in chains yet you look like you're about to crack, pathetic."

His words stung more than your hand. 

Pissed the fuck off you lick your hand and slap him again.

"Uhg! Gross!" He complains, "get the hell off me, you wretched woman!"

"Not till you let go!" you say doing all you can to stay on.

"Not happening!" he yells back, definitely squirming to kick you off.

"I'm not gonna get off you, Levi!” you said loud and honest, “Even if you manage to kick me off I’ll just climb back on, you have to do this!” You knee his lower abdomen again and he winces. "Aren't you tired of carrying it all? Just think of this as dropping all that baggage, your mother, your uncle, your fallen friends, it's all so much! Isn't it?"

Levi caught in such a position, he looks away from you and says, 

"It hurts…." it was so quiet you nearly missed it.

"I know it does, I can only imagine how hard it's been for you, I still have nightmares of the underground."

"Not that!" he grips his hands onto the beam and lifts his legs, trying to lift you off him, you panic when your inch off the ground then take a breath of relief when he drops his legs back down, every move is agony to Levi. It feels like his bladder is gonna burst!

"Don't lie to me" you say now sitting up on top of him, hands up where he can see them, he stops moving to figure out why you're no longer fighting him. "Levi, let go," you then slap him again, and again and again. 

It’s a trick his face turns forcibly with each slap you inflict.

Levi looks to be in turmoil, though he doesn't cry his eyes sadden tremendously.

"We made it to the cellar and- and" he closes his eyes shut, wanting to just expire right there for opening his mouth, "get off of me!" 

"No, finish your sentence!” you order him “Let it go!"

"He was the best of us!" He squirms under you, "he wasn't supposed to die!" Levi shouts fighting against his restraints, "That fucken bastard! That piece of shit! I would have followed him anywhere! Why-" his body starts to relax, "why couldn't he have followed me..." 

Levi felt out of sorts, he hasn't made a fuss over this problem before, he's better than to let his walls down.

"You're doing so good Levi, you're nearly out of the woods," you encourage him, yanking at his shirt, "just relax and let it go, let this pain go." you said with a soft expression.

"Why did I come here!" He shouts, "You're the devil! Who are you to make me feel this pain?!"

He looked to you as if you were a titan that got a hold of him and he had no gear, no skill, and no luck. It’s over, you win. 

"Move!" he trembles, "I'll do it just get off me!"

"No,” you shake your head, “I'm gonna be here, at this moment for you, I won't leave your side." 

Levi looked at you confused as to why you made his heart tick, even for a moment there was something he hadn't felt he wanted to say ever, never did he think he’d talk about his memories, his shitty shitty memories. No one forced him to look at himself like you.

He closes his eyes tight and turns away, letting his body relax, he stops fighting and lets all the pressure he bottled up inside him release.

You gasped with joy, it was gross sure, definitely not something you get your rocks off too, but the look on this man's face, how he trembles beneath you, how he's breathing so heavy, the way his eyes looked so vulnerable, unable to look at you. Even though he bares his teeth. You have never seen a sight so beautiful, the strongest man alive is pissing himself underneath you.

The warm liquid drenched your right leg, his pants were soiled, but the faint smile on his face as he whimpered out was enough to tell you this session was a success. 

Though you have to admit, this was not at all how you thought this session would go. It was nothing like the others, but to be honest you liked this better, it wasn't sexual but it was something this Man needed.

What was this feeling? Levi wondered as he hid his face from you, under his forearm was the best he could do being chained up, he thought he'd feel more shame, but thats not it at all…..he felt light.

"Let me unchain you," you said, getting off him.

He felt empty when your body left, then he felt cold Between his legs! Once unchained he sat up and ran a hand in his hair. 

"How do you feel?" You ask, on your knees by his side.

"Not sure…." He said not even ready to look you in the eye.

"I can draw you a bath," you say, and he remains frozen. You stay there staring at this broken man. You thought, maybe I went too far…

His eyes open wide when he feels your arms around him, your hugging him? Why? A monster like him, why?

“I’m covered in piss, you should let go of me..” he said in a low voice.

"You're not a bad person Levi, no matter what you think, you're not a monster."

Levi was shaking, his arms went numb, yet he still managed to wrap them around you. If he was able to cry, if his tears weren't swept away by the Titans, he would have sobbed in your warm arms for all eternity.

"I'm disgusting…" His voice shocked you, it didn't falter, no crack, no sniffles even when he's drenched in his piss, even when he's upset he still sounds the same.

"No…" you spoke softly, leaving the embrace so your hands could cup his face, "you are not disgusting, your the most angelic thing I have ever seen," his tired cold eyes looked to you, if it wasn't for the way his lips opened, you would have never known he was surprised. 

"Your wrong, I'm a demon among men,” his body slumps, “I made shit choices, I….. I think I picked the wrong guy to save, so many of my comr-" his eyes drooped, “Friends died….”

Levi is all over the place, giving you bits and pieces of his tragic past, there’s so many layers to this man, you're not sure where to start.

"You feel remorse…. Your not a demon,” you assured him, “you mourn for the fallen I can see it in your eye's"

"Is it enough?” he asked you, his eyes looked desperate for an answer, “Certainly, I could've done more?"

"Levi, thinking that way will only keep you awake at night, aren't you tired?"

"Yes,” he admits, hands slumped at his sides, the only thing keeping him from falling over was your hands, “I'm so fucking tired," his brows furrowing up, his eyes widened when they locked with yours, yours did too, he's listening to you as if you were his Commander. If you were to order him, would he listen?

"Levi,” you call to him and he listens, “place your hands on my face like mine are on yours."

"I thought"

"I'm giving you permission to," you say with a soft smile.

Levi's hands moved fast, his hands gripped your face. It’s tight and a little rough.

"Soft! Soft please"

He relaxes and you sigh, 

"You wanna kill me?"

"No?" He said looking at you confused.

"You don't sound like a monster to me," you blink, "I feel safe here, in your hands."

Levi couldn't believe it, neither could you, why the fuck are you acting so nice to him? Is it because he's a soldier? An actual good guy, not like the clients you have had before, if it was anyone else you would have laughed at them and left them to sit in their piss for hours. But here you are already unchained him, allowing him to touch you, to be this close.

"We better run you a bath," you say, getting up and away from him, "I can wash your trousers but they won't dry in time, sorry."

"I can wear them back wet." he says still on the floor.

"I mean if that's what you wanna do…." You say turning back to him as he undresses, you turn away quickly, blush now across your face, you go to start the bath. 

You keep looking away as he becomes fully nude. You dip a finger in, it seems to be the right temperature. "Ok, you're good to go in," you say shielding your face from sneaking a peek of his body.

He found that kinda strange, he got in and exhaled as the warm water surrounded him. He turned to see you sneaking away.

"You gonna join me?" He asks and you flinch turning to him.

He could tell you're nervous.

"I won't try anything, you worried i'd drown you?"

"No,” you say looking away, how can he be back to normal so quickly, a second ago he was unraveling, now he’s wounded back up. “but there are lines I can't cross, these lines keep me safe."

"It's happened before hasn't it?"

You stood there a moment longer than bent down to grab his pants.

"Your shirt should be dry by now, the only thing wet are your pants, I'll wash them and have the lady in pink bring them back."

"Did I scare you," Levi asked, arm resting against the rim of the tub.

"No, no!" you said walking back over to him, "you thrilled me, I want to know more about you, it’s just," you look down at his soaked pants in your hands, ignoring how they smell, how you smell. "This was supposed to give you a boner not, open your soul…. You're not like my other clients, and that makes me want to help you… I'm sorry,” your lip trembles, “i’m sorry I did this to you."

Levi took a breath, 

"Don't be, I think…” Levi pauses to look for the words, “I think I needed this, I will be coming back, just next time, nothing that leaves me with soaked clothes please."

"You…” you take a step closer to him truly in disbelief, “you wish to come back?" 

Levi nods, 

"Uh, wow, um ok" you smile, "I'll look forward to your return,” you smile wider, “I'm gonna go now," you say, turning away from him. "Take your time in there!" you walk out the door and quickly go to clean the Man’s pants.

Levi left without seeing you, he figured after you scrubbed his clothes you must have got in the shower, once Levi stepped outside he shivered, the cold latched to his wet clothes, the two hour ride back is gonna be a nightmare but at least it kept him awake. Once at HQ he avoided seeing others and stripped himself of his wet clothes and hopped into bed, once his eyes opened again he was greeted with morning light.

Levi thought to be dreaming, he threw off the covers and swung his feet off the bed onto the floor to look out his window and rubbed his eyes. Levi’s mouth dropped, he passed out as soon as his head hit the pillow, that never happens. He had no doubt in his mind you had something to do with this forsure. He already made the mental note of seeing you next week on his next off day.

Levi got dressed and walked out of his room and down the steps to the kitchen he hears his comrades cleaning and going about their morning.

He walked in and the dinning room went silent, they watched him as he made his tea.

Eren was the first to say something, he spoke with caution.

"Uh, did you sleep well Captain?" 

"A matter of fact, Yeager, I did," he said, pouring his tea and sitting at the table. "Why are you all acting so strangely?” he furrowed his brow looking to his squad. “You didn't have to wait for me to make breakfast."

Eren looked to Armin nervously, Mikasa finally said it, 

"You overslept Captain, it's nearly lunchtime."

Levi's eyes go wide, 

"What?…" he said to himself, "why didn't anyone wake me?" 

"No one wanted to interrupt you," Armin said with a tremble in his voice. 

"Really?" he lets out an exasperated sighs, "I'll wait till lunch to eat, I'll do the cleanup as well to show my apology for sleeping in."

"Yes, Sir," they all said in unison.

"Will ready the horses and go on our next voyage after we eat"

"Yes, Captain!" 

Levi sips his tea, still shocked that he had a good nights sleep.


	2. Every Rose has It's Thorn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Basically, the Reader comforts some soldiers at the cemetery, and later gets attacked at work by a client, (Not severely). Levi finds out about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, I know the name of the chapter is hella corny, my bad guys. Anywho, we're gonna see some bonding in this one. This chapter is also shorter than the other one, I'm not sure if my chapters are too long so I thought I give this length a try.

Tuesday morning, the scouts of the Survey Corps are visiting the cemetery of their fallen comrades. The unit brought buckets and rags to clean the memorials, something regrettably they should be doing more often. 

The team spreads out and gives each gravestone respect and a good scrub down. 

Jean spoke to Maro's grave, keeping his friend up to date with his life. Others did the same, they all had words for their fallen friends. 

Levi looked over the cleaning, he wasn't rough on those who didn't scrub hard enough, he let them know with a sympathetic hand on their shoulder and constructive criticisms on their technique.

Levi felt it in his bones, the weight of his fallen friends cripple him every day but today he was reminded harshly of their sacrifices. Revisiting their graves is a harsh reminder to him of how high the body count is. Levi always made sure to clean and visit two graves in particular, Isabelle and Furlan's Graves. Levi stood there looking over his friends, they were buried next to each other, he stared them down, solemn and still, his ears picked up a widowed woman crying over another grave five rows away. His eyes were on this woman for only a moment then darted back to his two dear friends.

Levi wonders what it would have been like if he took on a different role, if he stuck with the plan and didn't go ahead of his little pack if he wasn't so obsessed with living above ground, maybe they would still be alive. He takes a knee and rests both his hands gently on the top of their markers. 

"I wonder what you two saw in me? Did you not see the monster inside? Why make me the leader? When you were in danger did you think I would swoop in a save you?" He spoke this to Issabele's grave, in his head he can still hear her calling him 'big brother' "Forgive me, I wasn't fast enough." he says taking his gloved hand away and into the bucket beside him, he finished cleaning Furlans a moment ago, now it’s time for Isabelle to get clean. He wrings out a rag over the bucket and starts scrubbing, "I wish I could have shared another night with you guys, looking up at the stars." 

Captain Levi plunged into darkness as he scrubbed away the moss and dirt, at least that's what he thought it was, all he saw was blood, and no matter how hard he scrubbed, he couldn't clean it off. 

A small voice pulls him out of his thoughts.

"Mr. Levi" 

Levi's head turned to the sound, who dared to interrupt him?! Can't they see he's cleaning up his dead friend's blood? His eyes changed from a demon-like glare to slight confusion.

Little Ryan from the orphanage stood in front of him, two sunflowers in his hand.

"What the hell are you doing here?" He questioned, there's no hostility in his tone, it's calm and curious. Even so, Ryan became so scared he forgot how to speak. Levi sighs.

"Don't shit your pants kid," he then eyes the flower and drops the rag in the bucket. Pulls down his white bandana he ties around his face so the child could hear him better. "What's with the flowers in your hand?"

Ryan swallowed thickly, he mustered up a lot of courage just to call out to the terrifying man. 

"Do you know them?" The boy asked, eyeing the gravestones.

Levi had pain in his eyes, following the boy's gaze, 

"I did…. They were like my brother and Sister… I lost them to the Titans." 

"I lost my family to Titan's too," the boy said with droopy eyes, "I got in trouble for fighting with my sister and was sent outside to do chores, a Titan fell on our house and crushed my entire family."

Levi wasn't sure what to say to that, he's seen so much death by Titans he thought he was desensitized, but he still feels for this child. 

"Ms (Y/n) says my family is in a better place, watching over me," the boy mumbles.

Levi blinked down at the boy, still on his knees in the dirt. 

"And what do you think?" Levi questions.

"Not sure,” Ryan flat lines a frown across his face, “I think this life is shit so dying can't be any worse than living, but I wouldn't tell her that, I just smile at her, so she'd smile back and quit feeling sad for me." 

Levi scoffed softly,

"She's a nosy one that women." 

"Mr. Levi," the boy nearly forgot, "these flowers are for you to put on your brother and sister’s graves."

Levi's face softened, he pushed himself up off his knee to stand up.

"Go ahead then," he says and the young boy lays the flowers down against the stones. 

Levi then scanned the cemetery for your face. 

"Is she with you?" Levi asked and Ryan glares up at him, he glares back, so much for that heart to heart.

"You can't have her, she's mine! We're gonna get married when I grow up!"

Levi places a hand on his hip.

"Congratulations," he says grabbing his bucket and walking off. Kids can be so annoying. 

He walked the rows wondering if you're visiting a marker of a fallen husband or a family member, Levi can see more orphans the farther up the cemetery he traveled, he wasn't sure how he would be able to handle looking at any of these kids in the eyes, he assumes they're here to see their loved ones. He kept his eyes off the small children and just focused on finding you. 

He ceased movement when he finally caught sight of you. You're on your knees, a basket of hand-picked flowers by your side, you're in that raggedy dress and talking to one of his soldiers. 

You laugh softly, 

"He sounds like such a great guy, always looking out for you and the others, brave and kind too."

"He was!" Jean sobbed, "Marco was always by my side, I don't think there was a selfish bone in his body."

"Here," you hand him two violets, "Violets stand for, devotion, faithfulness, and friendship, I think those fit Marco perfectly." 

Jean took the flowers with shaky hands, 

"Thank you Ma'am these are perfect for him."

You smiled softly at the young man, you got off the floor basket in hand, you reached down and gave him a solace touch on on the shoulder. You turn your head and walk off to see who else might need some solace, your gaze lands on a pair of cold blue eyes looking right at you. 

"Levi?" You said his name with surprise, "How are you?" You asked with a look to nurture his emotional wounds, "These must be your soldiers, I recognized them from the party."

"You keeping an eye on the orphans?" Levi interrogates. “You don’t want any of them to get lost.”

"Oh! Yes, they're all accounted for. I came with another woman who works at the orphanage, the kids wanted to see their families so we all picked flowers and made the trip here…. If I would have known you and your comrades would be here, I would have picked a different day," you frown, “I hope my children aren't bothering anyone, we can leave if that's the case."

Levi glares into your soul, you're like two different people, the disgusting pervert, and the sweet saint. He sighs dropping the attitude.

"No, they're fine," he looks out to the children and his comrades bonding over fallen loved ones. "I think they're helping them."

"Oh!" You smile, "I'm so happy to hear that, kids have an innocent desire to help others."

Levi said nothing, he just eyes the flowers in your basket, he takes one out. And shows it to you.

"The Sunflower, the Freckled boy gave it to me, is there a meaning behind it?"

You look to it and nod,

"It's a sunflower, it means, adoration and loyalty,"

"I see," he looks to the right, "Smart little runt," Levi comments and you give him those same nurturing eyes.

"I'm sorry Levi… was it your wife?"

Levi shook his head, 

"I never married, they were my two friends, they were the closest thing to family I ever had," he looked to the grass with self-loathing, you give him all your empathy.

"They sound important to you, I'm sorry for your loss, it's not easy to find friendships in the underground." 

"Yeah…," Levi says with sad irritated eyes, not even gonna ask you how you figured out the origins of his and their friendship.

You take out two dark red Gladiolus by the stems and press them against Levi’s chest. He looks down at them and grips them when you take your hand away.

"What are these for?"

"Gladiolus, otherwise known as, the sword Lily,"

"Huh," he holds them away from his body to properly examine them, "what do these stand for?" He asks, admiring the strong beauty.

"Strength, integrity, remembrance, and honor. I think you know who these belong to." 

Levi looks to them with bright eyes, 

"Erwin…" 

"I'm sure he will appreciate them," you say wholeheartedly.

Levi says nothing just kept gazing at the flowers you have given him, thinking back on how you allowed Jean to confide in you. If he asked, would you do the same for him? Be by his side and share in his pain? No, he frowns, no, you wouldn't want to be bothered with him.

"Will you show me his grave?" You ask and he just looks at you, kinda taken by surprise, you tilt your head awaiting an answer.

He finally broke the silence, "follow me," he then turned away, holding the flowers as delicate as a monster can. He led you to a place he's been many times. 

Commander Erwan's tombstone has already been cleaned and decorated, Levi found a spot for the gladiolus and gently placed them. 

You study the raven-haired man as he stands there looking down at the flowers. His tired eyes turned to you and stayed there. Your brows raise when you realize, he wants you to say something. 

"What was he like?"

Levi’s eyes move from you to the ground then back to the tombstone as he recollects. 

"He was a dreamer, he had one goal in mind and I wanted nothing more than to help him fulfill it. But now that I know his dream is real, I'm not sure it's at all what he was imagining." Levi’s eyes saddened, “He died entrusting me to kill someone, I wasn’t able to fulfill my promise, not yet at least.” 

So that was the promise he spoke of? You weren't sure what to say to that, he didn't give you anything to work with really. What the hell should you say?! 

Levi’s face contorts, he’s having a hard time swallowing back all the grief, being in front of Erwin’s grave always made him feel so heavy, like his legs will give out any second. Is this his biggest regret? Letting him finally rest? Would he have seen Erwin's smile once he found out about these monsters across the sea? Would Erwan have a plan? He probably already had one in his head, Levi's just one man, He can't do this without Erwan. Levi’s breathing grew heavier and his chest felt tight, drowning in his grief, He hasn't even killed the beast Titan yet! He just ca- 

Levi flinched when he felt a hand holding his, his eyes dart down and he nearly gasped, nearly. Tot the sight of you holding his hand!? Why?! His hands are covered in filth, why would you want to hold it? He looked back at you, you're just silently gazing at the grave, you're so calm and your hand is so soft.

What was he thinking about just now? Did it matter? He felt you squeeze his hand and he suddenly felt grounded, you rested your head on his shoulder and said.

"Being the strongest man alive must feel heavy, especially now that he's not here to lead you.."

Levi's nose crinkled at your words, he sighs and relaxes, your right, it does feel heavy. He hates the fact that so much responsibility rests on him. 

"Yeah…."

"Is Hange any good?"

"They have a brilliant mind, even if it gets cloudy sometimes,” Levi admits, “I know they will play the role well"

"You know, wherever he is, I bet he still believes in you."

"How would you know that? You never met the man," Levi retorts, "you barely know me."

"True, but do you think I'm wrong? After all, you knew him far better than I"

"Tch," Levi smirks to the floor, "stop getting in my head." 

"Sorry, that wasn't my intention," you say honestly, "I just wanted to change your mood."

"Hmm" Levi went a little quiet, living in this moment with you, it's nice, as nice as standing in front of your dead leader's grave can be, still he felt at peace. 

You lift your head off his shoulder, 

“You wanna see me again?”

Something inside Levi’s heart ticked at your question. Is that some coy way of asking him on a date?

“Yeah,” he deadpans. “I don’t work Sundays.”

"Ah, I figured your off day is always the same, I'm off that day too but for you, I'll go in." Levi lets go of your hand and steps away, he misunderstood you, could he have read this wrong? Is he just a client to you? He then fixes his posture ignoring how red his cheeks feel, it doesn't matter how you see him, Either way, works for Levi. "I got a pretty good idea on what to do with you next." You grin that devilish grin.

"Oh is that so?" He covers his red face up with the bandana over his mouth and nose. "Well, I look forward to it, I'll be there at 1800 hours" you wave him off as he turns away in search of one of his underlings to yell at, he hopes Eren is somewhere slacking off.

…..Thursday Afternoon.

Hange left the courthouse beaming, another request for further exploration of the island was passed, every day their getting closer to the truth. In their pure bliss, they nearly bump into you.

"Oh! (Y/n)!" they call out and you jump from surprise. Out of all the time and places to see them...

"Oh! Hange!" You face them, covering half your face with your hand. They noticed that right away.

They grabbed your wrist and lowered it revealing a nasty cut on your lip and a deep bruise on your cheekbone and a black eye. Hange’s eyes saddened. 

"Sometimes I forget Titans aren't the only monsters we need to worry about, what happened?"

You smile awkwardly laughing it off.

"Oh this,” your gaze darts off and on Hange, “just a client who thought he could get handsy." You cover it back up with your hand, "you should have seen the other guy,” your laugh becomes high pitched, knowing full and well the other guy has zero injuries, “if I didn't have the documents and the witnesses I probably would have lost, but I won and I got the satisfaction of putting the bastard behind bars."

"You really should just do social entertainment gigs, you should never be in a room alone with any kind of man." 

"I know…." You said agreeing with them, "but, It puts bread on the table, heh..." you lean your body to see if there’s anyone behind them, you then check your surroundings, Hange curiously turns to see if there's someone behind them.

"Are you looking for someone?" Hange asks, turning their head back to you.

"Is Levi with you?" 

Hange then grins real wide, 

"You mean Mr sleepyhead?"

"What?" You laugh, confused about what they meant by that.

"I heard he slept in till noon on Monday."

You raised a brow,

"Uh, is that uncommon?"

"I'm so curious as to how that happened," Hange says ignoring your question to think aloud, "Captain Levi has insomnia but still always wakes up before anyone else in his unit."

"Really?" You then remember what he said to you before, how he's so tired. You smile to yourself, you helped Levi! You did good! 

"I'm glad to hear he got some good sleep," you gush.

"Same here! If anyone needs to catch a few extra Zs it's our Captain Levi!" 

You laugh a little holding the right side of your face, your eyes crinkle trying to hold off the throb in your face.

"Please forgive me, it hurts to smile."

Hange sighs seeing you in such a state. They found you fun and interesting, so seeing you bruised and battered stings them a bit. 

"Hey, I have an Idea!” they grin giddily. “Come have lunch with me, you came all this way, I’ll save you the carriage fee, ride with me back and will have lunch in your hometown, it's close to the scouts HQ, which is where I need to be tonight."

"It is?" You tilt your head, this is news to you, but it does make sense, the bar Hange, and the soldiers held the celebration was only an hour from your place. When did you tell Hange such information? Oh, they must have looked you up before hiring you. You chew the inside of your cheek, contemplating the offer. A ride in a luxurious carriage? you have to be an idiot not to say yes to that. 

"Sure!" You grin, "sounds fun!"

“Great!” Hange claps their hands together giddy for the conversations you two will share over tea and stew. “Let’s get going” she leads you to the carriage and you get in with little to no hesitation, Hange is someone you can trust and you could use more friends.

...later at the Scouts HQ

"Jean!" Levi shouts to the young man, "it's you and Sasha's turn to feed and clean the horses!"

Levi rolls his eyes to the groans coming from Jean and Sasha, 

"Piss and moan on your own time!" he jeers, hopping off his horse, Jean takes the horse by the reins and leads her to the stables.

Hange should be here at any moment. Levi had to mentally prepare for the meeting, things have been going well, their expeditions have led them to new parts of the island and it seems soon there will be no more titans, at least no more on the island... 

Levi went inside, bathed, and got into his lounging clothes, it was only Hange and his comrades, so no need to dress in his uniform. Once he was back downstairs, he and the scouts prepared and ate dinner. Hange arrived a little after that.

The meeting went along as always, the good news of the further expeditions made everyone happy and eager, they spoke of new recruits and how to properly train them into their new survey Corps life. Once the meeting was over, yawns of tired soldiers filled the room, everyone made their way to bed. 

Levi pushed himself off the wall he was leaning on and strides to Hange, he wants to speak to his friend before turning in. 

"Good work as always Commander,” Levi compliments them, “feel free to rest here tonight."

If Hange didn't know Levi well enough they would have thought he was being sarcastic, the way he gives praise with a scowl on his face, it’s a good thing they know him well.

"Thanks, I will do that," the tall one nods, letting out a well-needed stretch to the ceiling, "oh!” their hands swing down to their sides, “Real quick this is not work-related, I ran into our little entertainer at the courthouse today, She asked about you" Hange raised her brows playfully.

Levi made a face of confusion, 

"What would a girl like her be doing at the courthouse?"

"Hey, don't be rude!” they scold, ”Calling her that is perverted!"

"What else would I call her?” Levi retorts, “Anyway, what was she doing at the courthouse?"

Hange looked a little uneasy, Levi tilts his chin up waiting to hear about whatever it is that is making them so unnerved. 

"Well, guess she got attacked by a client,” Hange crosses their arms, “so she took his ass to jail."

Levi's eyes twitched from the news, but he did his best to look normal.

"Is she ok?"

"Yeah, from the look of her injuries she got away before it could get any worse, just a busted-up lip and a black eye." Hange sighs, "poor girl, hope she's resting well tonight, we had lunch, her mind is so brilliant, did you know she was studying to be a therapist at one point? The things she pointed out during our meal,” Hange gets lost talking about their new friend, “she knew a woman was gonna propose to her lover just by her body language, what a thrilling time, anyway, that's all the news I got so I'm going to bed,” they give Levi a friendly pat on the back before heading to the stairs in search of an empty bed, “good night!"

“Goodnight...” Levi eyes the tall one as they giggle their way up the steps. 

Levi stood there a moment longer, he’s now the last one in the room. Hearing this news had him sitting back down at the table for a couple of hours. Why would it matter to him if you get a little roughed up? Don’t you have it coming for being in such a shameless line of work? Levi’s overthinking led him to the memory of when you shoved him against the beam five days ago. How easy it was to climb on top of you and raise his fist up. His head bows down a little, thinking of what it would have looked like if he had gone through with it, the image of your broken form underneath him, eyes stained with tears, your voice crying out for him to stop. His nose flared, he didn’t like the thought of hurting you, he hated it more when he thought of someone else on top of you, beating you senseless. That had him out of his seat. 

Levi breathed heavily in and out of his nose, no way he’s going to bed now, not with the urge to murder whoever it was on top of you, beating you down. He thought he should go to your work and threaten the front desk into telling him the name, no, you would hate that, his actions would just lead you into more trouble, still, a cell just seems to comfy for this fuck, if this was the underground he could just kill him like he would kill all that sickos who gave Isabelle trouble. Levi growled slightly, pissed off with the whole situation, this is something he will just have to let go of, after all, he’s just a client to you anyway.

…. Next morning. Friday.

Levi rushed his way through his duties, he did everything correctly, he just wanted to just get it done. He taught the new recruits the way of the castle, cleaning, proper work ethic, some discipline here and there, typical stuff he’s done for years, he did it all while shoving his ridiculous concern for you to the back of his mind. 

He can’t worry about some ‘Entertainer’ during work hours. But unfortunately, he is thinking of you, even while disciplining a newbie. One of his favorite duties as a Captain is kicking the snot out of his underlings. Levi thought this moment would give him great joy, all his weight on the bottom of his boot, his boot on top of the Newbies head, he could be savoring the sobs of his underling but instead, he’s thinking of you. Levi lifts his foot off the crying young man and scoffs at himself. 

“Breaktime piglets” he announced, mid-stride to one of the horses. “Enjoy it while you can,” he secures his boot into the stirrup pad, launching himself on the saddle seat. He grips the reins and clicks his tongue commanding the horse to move. He rides off to the orphanage farm, in hopes you will be there and he could see your face himself.

Levi arrived at the farm, tied the horse up the fence, and hopped over it. He didn't see any of the kids running the fields, he thought about going inside the farmhouse itself, perhaps he arrived around lunchtime. He stops mid-stride hearing your voice whispering to the right of him. Levi turns his head to the sound and finds you hunched over, hiding behind a wheel of a wagon.

"Come here hurry!" You whisper with haste, 

Levi ran over and hid behind the other wheel, he eyes you with intensity.

"What is it? Are those thugs back?! Did that fucker come back with friends?!" He whispers with a murderer in his eyes.

"No?" you snort, “But good hustle,” you snicker, and he just looks at you waiting for an explanation, "we’re just playing hide and seek." 

Levi heard your answer and immediately stood up, agitated glaring down at you, he must have looked ridiculous. A little girl ran over to point him out, she then saw you ducked over beside him. 

"You lose Ms (Y/n)!" the young girl declares, finger pointed right at your face.

"Oh, man!" You groan standing up next to Levi, you cross your arms at him. "I was the reigning champ!"

Levi glared at you with knitted brows.

"You do realize you're playing with children? It's not an accomplishment"

"Well, you're just no fun" you pout. You then check your pocket watch for the time and call out to the kids.

"Ok Kids! Time to go inside!" The children groan, "it is what it is kids, now get in there and pick out a story for good ol' Captain Levi, to read to you."

"Yay!" The children cheer and Levi just looks displeased.

"Sorry but I didn't come here to read nursery books," he tells you.

"But you got their hopes up," you say with big eyes, watching the kids run inside.

Levi lets out an exasperated sigh, only being here ten minutes and you manage to exhaust him, "I need to have a word with you," Levi said sternly, ignoring the last conversation.

"A word with me?" You snort, keeping your right side away from his gaze, you’ve been doing that this whole time. "I'm so flattered."

"About the man who sucker-punched you." He says, not one to beat around the bush. He found your behavior annoying, you’re just wasting his time by averting his gaze.

Now it’s your turn to ignore his words, he follows close behind you as you move to a bin in the grass. You start to pick up some outdoor toys. "Mind helping me?"

Levi was hesitant, not one to get his hands dirty for no reason, but still, he leaned down and picked up some wooden horses and spin tops, placed them in the bin between you too. 

"Thanks," you say now carrying the bin in your arms.

Levi wiped his hands with a white cloth he kept on his person at all times.

"You should have had the kids do this, they need to learn to clean, children should learn to be tidy."

"Normally I'd have the kids help but, then they eavesdrop into our conversation, Ryan hasn't stopped asking me all day."

Levi went silent, suppose talking to you without the children running around was better.

You grab the bins full of toys and turn for the door, Levi saw your hands full and opened the door for you.

"A gentleman," you bat your eyes at him.

"Tch, just get inside, I still need to talk to you."

You two walk inside, you place the bins down beside the door and listen for the children, you sigh relieved that the other women working the orphanage gathered them upstairs for class time. 

Levi was getting impatient, not one to be ignored.

"I'm talking to you," he snarls.

"Right, sorry," you said, making yourself look busy.

He got right up next to you, his intimidating stare bore into you, making your whole body ice cold.

"Look, at me (Y/n), Hange already told me what happened."

You sigh turning to face him, your black eye now more purplish yellow and the cut in your lip wasn't looking as bad anymore. Still Levi wasn’t thrilled to see your face in such a condition.

"Suppose it was Karma for kicking you with my dirty boots huh?" you try to make a joke to lighten the mood.

Levi didn't find any word of that amusing, 

"How'd the guy get an upper hand on you?"

"He, uhh," you look down at the floor embarrassed, rubbing your arm, "he said his safe word so I let him go and he attacked me…." You tuck hair behind your ear and that's when Levi got to see the welt on your wrist. 

"Did he…."

"No, I kicked him off after he pinned me… I haven't had an incident like this in six months,” you sigh to yourself, “I wasn't cautious enough."

Levi thought for a moment, he wanted to ask you who he was, but he knows that’s not gonna help.

"Let me talk to the queen, She can give you a real job here, you should be getting paid for all this work anyway."

"No, Levi,” you shake your head, “thank you but I don't need your help, besides I like putting the sick fucks in their place, this was a little slip, it happens.” you shrug.

"Look at you,” Levi says taking in your injuries, “that man nearly got you… what if"

"Levi stop, this shit does not concern you!” you said standing your ground, your brows connected, voice raised, Levi never seen you mad at him before. It wasn't that intimidating but still it made him listen. “I'm gonna be fine, I'll only stick to my regulars, I won't take in anyone new."

Levi opened his mouth but then closed it. He chose to say something else.

"Your a grown woman, I can't tell you what to do," he says honestly, 

"That's correct," you say nodding, wiping off the little craft table in the dining room.

"But let me teach you some moves to overpower people bigger than you."

You froze, slowly you looked at him, dumbfounded. 

"You do that for me?"

"If it meant for you to be safe, yes," Levi answers, looking rather indifferent.

You tilt your head curiously at the raven-haired man in front of you, perhaps pissing his pants felt so calming and peaceful he feels he owes you? 

“Ok,”

“Ok,” Levi responded, eyes moving from you to a mug full of wooden kitchen utensils, he takes a long wooden spoon and leads you outside. Out in the field he stops.

“Stay here,” he points to a spot on the grass, you move to it and await further instructions. 

Levi gets into a stance three feet across from you, he tosses you the wooden spoon, you catch it midair, you tilt your head at it with confusion.

“Pretend it’s a knife,” he says and you nod gripping it tight, “ok, swing at me.”

With your right hand gripping the wooden spoon, you come at him with an uppercut motion targeting his stomach. Levi grabs your right wrist with his right hand, then his left and uses your centripetal force to drive the wooden spoon up into your collar bone, he does so lightly and slow enough for you to see but fast enough for you to shudder when the wooden spoon pokes at where your shoulder and collarbone meet. 

He then lets go of you and you’re left with an exciting rush throughout your body.

“See what I did there?” He asked, making sure you two stay on the same page, “I took your right wrist with mine then my left, and used your own force against you, stabbing you with your own weapon.”

You nod looking to the spoon in your hand, 

“Again but strike downward this time,” he advises and you nod. 

Gripping the wooden spoon you swing down aiming for the chest, Levi grabs your wrist, he stops there to explain, “now this time you want to twist the wrist and slam the knife downward,” he twists your wrist lightly and swings down to poke you at the thigh/pelvic area.

“Simple right?” he asks, taking the spoon and backing away.

“Yeah!” you said feasting on the adrenaline, 

“Good,” Levi tosses the wooden spoon, flipping it in his hand getting a good intimidating grip. “Now you try.” 

You gulp, body buzzing with nerves, as you watch Levi’s movement, he goes in with a slow swing and you just back away. He stood regularly letting out an exasperated sigh, 

“Don’t do that,” he grimaces, “how did you even survive the underground?”

“Sorry, sorry!” you apologize jumping in place, getting all your jitters out, “just nervous, let’s try again.” 

Levi goes back into stance, slowly he swings his arm, you immediately grab him by the wrist then stop, mind going completely blank, he just eyes you. 

“Sorry, what was the next step?” you ask nervously.

Levi remains patient with you. He releases himself of your sheepish grip and flips the spoon over handing you the hilt end. You take it.

“I'll show you one more time,” he says and you nod, feeling embarrassed with yourself. Levi shows you the method and this time you really pay attention, you're determined to get it right.

Levi, wooden spoon in his grip eyes you, it felt like being stalked by a killer, being under his watch. You conceal your shivers and stay focused, Levi swings down with his right arm, you take your right arm and grip his wrist tight, your hesitant with your next step, your other hand froze for a moment but eventually grips Levi’s forearm, you look to Levi to make sure you’re doing it right, he nods indicating you are and lets you drive his arm down and jab the spoon into his side.

“Ok, you're getting the concept, now we gotta go faster,” he warns you and you just make a face of worry.

“Calm down, this is easy stuff,” he says to encourage you, “you won't learn if I just go in half-assed, if you're actually about to get stabbed, I guarantee they won't stop to let you recall the next step.”

“I know” you exclaimed, “let’s keep going,” he nodded, getting ready to go in again.

Once Levi saw you were understanding the movements he felt it was time to move on to the next thing.

Levi drops the wooden spoon he will remember to pick it up later. 

“Put me in a headlock,” he deadpans.

Your eyes blow out, that sounds exciting! But mostly terrifying, Levi is probably gonna toss you on your ass or something quick and scary like that.

“I don’t have all day,” he crosses his arms impatiently, and your body forces itself to move towards him. 

Nervously you get behind him, he just stands there waiting for your arms to wrap around him. You shiver when the wind blows the scent of him into your nose, you could only describe the scent as a fresh flowery smell with notes of cedar and musk. You try not to dwell on the thought of licking his neck to see if he tastes as good as he smells, you need to focus or he will scold you again.

Levi is around your height so you could easily wrap your arm around him. He holds back his desire to bad mouth how loose and shaky your arm is, he obviously has to say something when you just stop there.

“(Y/n), grip your bicep like this,” he makes an L shape with his left and grips down on his bicep with the right, he hears you silently breathe “Oh!” and do as he instructed. “Great, grip nice and tight,” he advises and you hesitate, 

“I don’t want to choke you, Levi,” 

“I’ll be fine,” he says, insulted by you even thinking you could possibly hurt him. 

Once you feel confident in your grip, Levi leans forward to grab your right leg and pull it upwards to the sky, you let go right when you felt your balance was off, and just like you thought you are on the floor squinting up at Levi.

He looks down at you with his icy blue eyes.

“You ok?” he asks and you grunt out a response,

“Yep,” he then backed up so you could get back to your feet.

“Will go slow, but this is easy,” he says as if to encourage you, it works, all till his strong muscular arms around your neck, he’s got you in a lazy headlock, no doubt he does this to be gentle, you squeal when he spoke directly into your ear, he disregards it.

“Relax, your heart is pounding.”

Is it? You hadn’t noticed but he’s right, Your face is full of crimson hues, his voice in your ear so stern, so sexy oh fuck, you can’t recall the last time you felt arousal pool up inside you. No, you can’t see Levi like that, see Levi as the sad man he is, the man you want to chew up and spit out, the man who is teaching you how to defend yourself, the man whose tragic past breaks your heart. Oh for fucks sake, you're in a damn field at an orphanage, get a hold of yourself!

“Hey! You listening to me?” Levi growls into your ear, his hot breath coming out of his mouth and onto your skin, his irritated growl rocked your body, leaving you tingling all over. 

You squeal even louder, needing to rid yourself of the sexual tension, you lean forward, grab his leg and pull, pull fast, then cover your ears and shake your head. “Oh golly Levi!” you breathe. Tuning your head to yell at him, but he’s not there, you look down and he’s just pouting at you from the grass. 

“I did it?” you said amazed with yourself. 

Levi hooks your leg with his and sweeps you down next to him. You fall down with a shriek. Landing on your side, you grunt as you lay on your back next to him, you then start to laugh, Levi sat up and tilted his head down at you. 

“What is it now?” 

“I’m having fun with you,” you say through laughter. 

“Tch,” Levi gets up and extends a hand to you, you take it and get off the grass, he wipes dirt off his white pants with an aggravated grumble. 

“Dirt won’t hurt you, Levi,” you jeer and he felt his patients run a little thinner. Not sure he liked how you tossed him like a ragdoll into the dirt, or How you think all these lessons are fun and not a serious matter. 

“Ok, Brat,” he crosses his arms, “Let’s get this over with, last things I’m teaching you is how to throw a punch and how to block a punch.”

“Cool!” you smiled confidently. 

He scoffs at you, 

“Stand with your dominant foot in the back, you’re less dominant in the front slightly bent.” Levi shows you what he means, you watch with attentive eyes and mimic his stance, “When you punch, You launch off your back foot for momentum, turn your hips, punching your fist out to the person in front of you,” Levi says showing you what he means by acting it out, you flinch backing away and shielding yourself. He lets out an exasperated sigh, “I wasn’t gonna hit you,” he then raises his hands up in front of his face, “Not without warning at least” 

You swallow thickly, hornets buzzing in your stomach, You listen as he describes the types of punches, you watch with awe as he demonstrates them on the air. You made sure to keep distance, one hit from him, and you'd be concussed. Levi was a natural born killer, you knew that without asking. The way he moves, the way he breaths there warning signs to the public, warning them to back the fuck off, to stay away from him, far away from him. Somehow that saddened you. Perhaps violence is all he knows cuz that’s all he’s been taught.

“Ok,” he slaps his own shoulder, “go ahead,” you just eye him sheepishly, 

“Ok… here goes,” you said with the confidence of an anxious field mouse, you put your hands up to your face, look down to check your stance, hesitantly push your body forward and punch him in the shoulder. 

“Oh no…” he says looking bored, “You can’t punch for shit, I nearly laughed when you tried to beat me down in that sex dungeon last week.”

Your jaw goes slack and you punch him again, he scoffs,

“Did I make you mad? Prostitute?”

Oh that little prick, you thought bearing your teeth,

“Fuck off Levi!” you shout punching him as hard as you can. 

He took it and deemed it good enough. 

“Again,” he said, “but this time right swing,” you grit your teeth and right swing on his arm, then left, Levi had you test out all the different types of punches on him and didn’t even bat an eye. 

At the end, he rubbed his arm to rid the dirt off his jacket sleeve.

It felt like Levi spent all day with you, though it was really more like two hours, he taught you all these different moves and became rather impressed to see how quick you started to pick up on it, he felt some pride when you would jump up and down excited when you got something right. 

“You ready? I’m gonna go faster now,” Levi warns you.

“Yeah, I’m ready,” you announce.

You stood a couple of feet in front of Levi, arms up in front of your face, awaiting his move, he goes for an uppercut, with his right, you instinctively block with your left by grabbing his wrist and twisting it away, you then give him a good jab in the gut. 

Levi goes in with a Hammerfist, punching left, you block with the left, and go in with your right. He stops to praise you.

“Good, it’s a start,” Levi nearly smirks at you, “let’s keep going till each technique is pounded into your skull.”

You blush at his words, fuck he’s so hot when he’s in his element. 

You gasp when Levi gives you zero time to react, you grab his wrist and go to hook his leg with yours, you're too slow, he’s the one who hooks your leg, he then shoves you down by slamming his pam harshly to your chest. The grass was the only thing kind to you this entire lesson.

“I won’t apologize for being rough with you,” he squats down to shoot daggers into your eyes, “The best way to learn is through the pain.”

You groan at him, “everything you say is straight out of an erotic novel, you’re too hot for your own good.” you complain covering your face with your arm, “how do your underlings not blush and whine when you speak to them this way.”

Levi darts his eyes away from you pouting with a slight flush on his face.

“Get up so I can beat the perverted thoughts out of you,” he demands.

You inhale deeply remaining in the grass, you are exhausted, sweaty, and fatigued, and the way he’s been speaking to you, you're gonna need some time. “I’m gonna need a second,” you exhale, “my legs just turned to jelly.” 

Levi scoffs lightly, sitting down next to you.

“Ok, we’re done here,” he crosses his arms with an annoyed scowl, “you’re just too horny, to keep going.”

You laugh, looking up at him.

“Sorry, I must say, you would love to do what I do,” you say relaxing in the grass, he just looks down at you through narrowed eyes.

“I don’t want my opponents to like it,” he retorts.

“Well, I love it, sorry Captain sexy,” you tease him through half-lidded eyes.

“Don’t ever call me that,” he sneers. “You're a mess of a woman” Levi mumbles eyes to the sky, he has to leave soon so he can get back in time to beat the newbies senseless. 

“Did your Uncle teach you how to fight?” 

Levi turned his attention to your curious eyes.

“Yes, to be honest, I never taught or was taught how to fight in the Survey Corps, I came in already knowing way more than even their elite.”

“I’m sorry to hear that Levi,” you coo softly, you know he said those things to boast, his smug face said that loud and clear, but you saw through it. “it must have been hard.”

Levi scrunched his face at you,

“No, I survived easily, you’re the one who probably had it worse than me.”

You hear what he says and know he’s right, your gaze moves to the clouds. 

“The men of the underground ruined me at a young age,” you sigh with pain in your tired eyes, Levi’s stomach twisted looking into them. You turn your gaze back to smile at him, “Too bad I didn’t know you back then, you could have taught me all this and I could have at least fought-”

“Be happy you didn’t know me back then,” he said cutting you off, “I would have got you killed just like them” Levi stops himself from talking anymore he eyes the sky again and gets up striding to the wagon to strap his ODM gear back on. 

You sat up, didn’t pry at his past, there’s just no time, you figure he is speaking of his friends from the underground, nothing you can do now, you can tell he needs to go, you got up to say goodbye.

“Thank you for the lesson,”

“Sure just don’t be a dumbass and get jumped again, damn idiot,”

“Ah, your sweet words warm my heart,” you say sarcastically with a grin and he gives you an eye roll.

“I'll see you Sunday,” he says untying his horse from the fence,

“See you Sunday,” you say back with a happy grin, waving him off as you rode away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Awww, look at all that bonding! I know yall probably came along for the horny stuff, the next chapter will have plenty of that. thanks for reading!


	3. Hit Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Talk of self-harm, Cursing, Smut, NSFW, Violence, talk of past trauma, fluff

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok yall, here is some smut! Levi is a hot mess like oof! Also, he needs hugs, lots of them!

Sunday-

….

Levi stares himself down in his full-length mirror, he glares at his own body, all covered in marks left from the tight straps of his uniform. He turns his torso to eye the bruises and scars on his back, he pays no mind to his battle wounds, his’s main concern is the fact his mirror is by far taller than him. If he could change anything about himself it would be his small frame and short stature. Levi could no longer keep his icy gaze on himself, he had to look away. 

He contemplates if he should even go see you, last time you had him in a puddle of his own piss, he can only imagine what that smirk was about, clearly, nothing good. Yet he still wants to go. Levi Wants to see you. He enjoyed himself the other day, he stood in place thinking about it, your face looked so determined to get each lesson right, you’re a quick learner, he feels lighter knowing you can take care of yourself, at least a little better than you could before. His favorite part of that day was when you laughed in the grass next to him. Your smile was so easy, so warm and vibrant, Levi couldn't get over the fact that he was the reason for that smile.

Levi spent the day preparing himself, he cut his hair, shaved, and took a decent amount of time picking out his clothes for the evening. His blue eyes gaze up at his final pick, hanging by a hanger on the back of his closet door. He thought ahead this time and pulled out his pea coat, the last thing he wants is to go home cold and wet again. With you, he has to be prepared for anything.

Levi reaches above his head for the hanger he pulls his clothes off it and starts dressing. He puts on his grey thin long sleeve sweater, slip his slender legs into dark brown pants and even took out one of his nice belts. He stares at himself as he slips on his peacoat. Levi checked himself out with approval, he looks rather sharp in his get-up, he wore the season rather nicely. Suddenly he felt a hint of self-loathing, crawling like an insect up his back, he dressed as if this was a date, it is not a date, and for once in his life, he felt pretty shitty about that. Levi never wanted to date anyone, he felt it was a waste of time, getting to know someone, they would just die on him. Erwin was the closest he had to crave that kind of intimacy… he never got it but that was the only time he was even close to asking for it. Levi scoffs, where did that thought come from? Erwin was his Commander, his Comrade, and friend that’s all, he grabs his wallet from the dresser and leaves his room, leaving those thoughts behind. 

You sat on the steps of the building you work in, you wrap your arms around yourself, shivering as you wait for Levi. You curse under your breath, blowing hot air in your cupped hands, you then rub them together to attract more warmth. It's a cold night and your thin blouse won't save you, even if it's a long sleeve.

You sat there pouting, tapping your foot. How could you possibly forget? Oh, that's right, you didn’t forget, no one fucken told you! Your expression changes from pissed off to sheer joy as soon as you saw Levi getting out of a carriage and walking down the street to you. The man’s on time, you were worried he'd keep you waiting here to freeze your titts off. 

You're too far away to tell him so you just grimace as the carriage trots off. Once his eyes found you, slouched into yourself on the steps he looks muddled as to why you were not inside. You stood up quick and gathered your things off the step, making your way to him. You two ceased movement once you met in front of the building.

“Why are you outside? Did you quit?” he asked as a joke but a part of him wished you just nod and he could take you to dinner.

“No, apparently the place got painted today so the whole inside is wet, no one told me but that’s probably my fault for not giving them any way to reach me outside business hours.” you sigh holding yourself tight.

Levi scoffed, his cold breath clouding the air. You frown sincerely, 

“I’m so sorry Levi but it looks like tonight is not gonna work, and I got this dress cleaned and altered just for the occasion” you gesture to the bag slung over your shoulder, you go into your pocket to pull out your wallet, “let me pay for your ride back home.” 

Levi didn't respond right away, his eyes moved to the building then back at you.

"I hate this place anyway, I never want to step foot in that dump again,” he admits, “let’s just go to your place, you live alone right?"

You frown, growing pale from the question. You even back away slightly from the raven-haired man.

"Uhh, yeah but, I never bring clients to my home."

"Make an exception," Levi replied quickly, not understanding your hesitation. 

"that is how people in my industry get killed," you answered quietly.

Levi tilts his chin up.

“You really think I'd hurt you?”

“No…” you said honestly but still not really cool with the idea. Even if you two have seen each other outside of work, it’s not smart…. It goes against all you've been taught.

Levi placed his hands into his pockets, coming off calm, collected, bored even, but inside, inside he’s let down, he was looking forward to whatever sick shit you had in store for him, maybe he can convince you without sounding desperate. 

"I'll give you free rein with me, I won't fight back, within reason." Levi glares, but inside he’s kicking his own ass for resorting to begging.

He sounds so pathetic, at least it looks like it worked, he can see the spark in your eyes and the blush in your cheeks.

"Really?" 

"Yes,” Levi asserts, he might be happy now but he may be regretting it very soon. “now can we please get out of here, I’m freezing my ass off just standing here." 

You thought a moment longer, messing with a strand of your hair, eyes to the left. Is this really a good idea? He did say you can do whatever you want to him! You can’t skip out on such an opportunity, you could get him to open up more…. You want nothing more than to break down his walls and stroke his pretty head as he cries in your arms, you wanna hear him sob, face his pain so he can finally heal, a goal like that will take time, lots of time. 

You swallow thickly, your minds made up, you want to help him, you just hope your desire to do so hasn't clouded your judgment. 

"This is terrifying," you admit, taking the lead, walking down the street, Levi walks next to you, he swiftly tugs your bag from over your shoulder and swings it onto his.

“So you're gonna wear a dress?” 

“No asking questions, you'll ruin the surprise,” you say back and he clenches his jaw, he already knows it’s a dress, so how could it still be a surprise?

Levi lets it go and puts a hand up to the street. 

"I'll get us a carriage."

"Let me pay for it" you beg, “It’s my fault we're changing scenery,” Levi shrugs, and you smile thinking you got your way, but to your dismay, as soon as you got in, Levi hands the man cash as he says,

“Wherever the lady wants to go.”

You groan and you can almost see him smiling at your displeasure. You tell the man your address and sit back, across from Levi.

The way home felt awkward and you kinda wanted to jump out of the carriage, but you're nearly home and Levi is someone you can trust. Right? He’s a soldier, a captain that saved everyone within these walls, that should be enough to show you he’s a good guy, but then again he’s older, probably by five years, he’s from the underground, he definitely killed people…. You grip your hands so tight your knuckles turn white. Is this a good idea? Your mind then takes you somewhere else, the cemetery where you held his hand, he did teach you how to fight, Levi won’t kill you. You sit back in your seat feeling a little less on edge about the evening, with that out of the way, now would be a good time to go over your plans.

Levi sat slouching arms resting on his knees, watching you stare out the window. You look determined, your brows connect and your nose crinkles, you look like you're thinking of something just to piss yourself off, something Levi has done many times whenever he would take down a titan. But why are you doing that now? 

“I’m trying to prepare myself, please stop staring,” you say feeling his gaze on you, making you sweat.

The raven sat up tall and straight, your answer intrigued him. 

“How old are you (Y/n)?”

And just like that your pumped-up feels, fade, you huff looking at him and he crossed his legs, side-eyeing you.

“Levi, stop it,” you pout, “you’re making me feel inferior.” 

“Just making small talk,” he lies and you can tell.

“Well gee Mr how old do you think I am?” you mock him and he just takes it. Head now facing you, focusing on you.

“Twenty-one?” he deadpans,

“I’m twenty-five,” you answer and he just looks out the window as if he lost all interest.

“Hm, you look young for your age,”

You snort, “You really think you have any room to say that?”

Levi gracefully places his hands neatly and pose on his lap,

“You think you can handle an older man?”

Your mouth gapes open, your ears feel hot and your heart pounded in your chest, your nervous, damn it! Levi is making you nervous! You cross your arms and pout under his amused gaze. 

“Oh just you wait, old man” you huff eyes narrowed on him. He found that even more amusing, the glare you’re giving him, “I know exactly how to handle a man like you, age has nothing to do with it, I don’t need you to put a fire under me.”

“Hmpf” Levi chuckled looking back out the window.

His work is done, he pumped you up and now it will all be more personal. Though he does want to keep up the banter with you, Hange was right, you're witty, he wonders why you didn’t complete your education, you would have been a brilliant therapist. 

Looking out the window you see your street.

"This is it," you say and Levi instructs the man to stop.

Levi gets out of the carriage and gives you his hand to help you down, you ignore it and hop out on your own. 

“Tch, you're quite brazen,” he says and you scoff.

“You don’t get to touch me unless I let you,” you retort, Levi has to contain himself from saying something insulting. You could easily tell him to leave and his night would be ruined all because of his big mouth. He can tell you not too pleased with him. 

Levi follows you to your doorstep, he waits as you take out your key and unlock the front door. The sun is close to setting so your place is still well lit but not for long, you grab a box of matches from inside an armoire, and move to light your lanterns, you then grab firewood from your woodbox and toss them into the fireplace. 

"It should warm up in a moment," you announced, starting the fire. Once that’s done you hold your hands close to warm them for a moment. 

Levi drops your bag at the front door, he goes to take his shoes off but with the state of your disgusting floor he chooses to keep them on. The raven hangs up his coat on a nearby coat rack, his nose crinkles as it’s attacked by a terrible odor. His eyes caught the stench immediately to be the dishes piling up in your sink. Levi nearly leaves after seeing the dirt you just tracked all over the floor, he didn’t dare touch your dining table, he can see the crumbs left behind from numerous meals.

"You live like this?!" he criticized with disgust. 

"No!” you protest, “I was gonna clean today but someone wanted to see me," you stomp passed him to grab the bag from off the floor you then stomp over to the table plopping the bag on top of the cleaner side, "Like you, I enjoy a clean space." You unzip your bag and pull out a maids outfit, Levi raised a brow at the small dainty waistline.

"Not to be rude but, that does not look like your size." he points out, absolutely trying to be rude.

“Go ahead asshole,” you smirk, “keep pissing me off,” you grumble to yourself and he tilts his head picking up only bits and pieces.

“Speak up,” he deadpans, 

"The dress is not for me," you toss it to him and he grabs it, "It's yours, you're gonna clean my kitchen and dining room, in that dress."

"I'll clean,” Levi admits, “but not in this." 

"You said whatever I wanted,” you cross your arms. “I'm going way out of my comfort zone by having you here, so make me feel a little less threatened."

"By dressing like a girl?" Levi’s eye twitches looking over the dress.

"Clothes don't have genders, Levi, put it on or go home," you say with a slight attitude, 

"Tch" Levi flounced over to the table, you backed away, fear pooling in the back of your head, he then places the dress over a chair, you exhale with relief. For a moment you thought he was coming after you, what he did next kinda made you favor that thought. To your horny horror, he pulls over his sweater over his head, giving you a full view of his chiseled abs and pecks.

You cover your eyes and shout, 

“Wow! No! Not in front of me! I-in! t-the! Spare room!” you point, eyes still covered, Levi folds his sweater without breaking eye contact with you.

“What? A little skin makes your little girl body all flustered?”

“Don’t be creepy!” you grimace hands still over your eyes, “I can’t work under these conditions please change in my spare room.” You point harder and listen to him groan as he walks off. You don’t open your eyes till the door closes.

Your hands drop to your sides, Your breath tumbles out of you heavily, it’s hard to maintain indifference with this guy! He’s so damn hot, you just have to imagine him as something attractive. Think of him with triple chins, and bald, you shiver lips curving into a smile, that's better. You sit down and wait for Levi to get dressed.

Levi folds his clothes neatly on the bed. He scowls at the monstrosity that is the maid dress resting on the bed far from his own clothes. In nothing but his boxer briefs, he takes the black dress and flips it upside down, slipping his head in first then pushing his arms through the short white cuffed sleeves. It’s frilly white apron seems to be a separate material, he has to toss the white straps over his shoulders and cross them down his back, wrap around the front of his waist then tie in the back. Levi turns his body to eye the white straps behind him in the mirror, so he can tie a bow perfectly, once all put together he checks himself out in the mirror.

Commander Erwan has to be rolling in his grave, The raven moues at his own reflection. adjusting the collar he feels the absolute opposite of the way he felt of himself earlier... This has to be another one of your ‘power over his’ moves. And just on cue, his self-loathing is back. He’s so tiny, his skin so porcelain and soft, might as well be a woman. He groans, sure he’s muscular but still, so short, uhg fuck the underground. He curses before leaving the room. 

You heard the sound of the door open and turned to see him stomping over to you. 

Your eyes nearly pop out of your skull. You cover your mouth, trying not to laugh.

Levi stood there, lips flatlined together, arms stiffly at his sides, his eyes stared angrily to the right blood boiling.

"You look so hot,” you cheer, “such a beautiful man" you tease, this was far better than the triple chins, baldy was visualizing earlier, sure he’s still 100 out of 10 but at least you feel like the power in the room has shifted. 

Levi crosses his arms and pouts under your gaze. "I won't be long," he says, hands balled into fists stomping into your kitchen, you watch amusingly as he squats down to open your chemical cupboard for cleaning supplies. 

He starts on the table. Swirling the rag on the table letting the crumbs fall so he can sweep them up later. He never felt such rage while cleaning, he has to check himself when the mental image of strangling you with the very rag he’s using on your table invades his mind. He inhales and exhales slowly, he just has to sink into cleaning, nothing else. That actually works, Levi is starting to enjoy himself, he loves cleaning, he nearly forgets that he’s in a dress, nearly. Levi feels a slight breeze on the back of his thighs. He turns his head to see you sitting in your chair, a foot away from him, playing with the hem of the skirt, he clenches his jaw, watching you purr with content, pretending to be invested with the patterns on the trim. 

“Enjoying yourself? perve.”

“Oh yes,” you say looking up at him through half-lidded eyes, “and please Little Levi, call me Master.” 

Levi grips the skirt ripping it out of your grasp violently. He turns himself fully to you, so he can lean his face into yours. You kept the same happy go lucky expression, you can see Levi is furious but the hue of red on his cheeks is not from his rage, he’s blushing.

“Even if you had a knife to my neck I would never call you that nor will I allow you to call me ‘Little’ quit that shit now!” he demands.

“Safeword,” you wink and he scoffs cursing aloud, leaving you for the next chore.

You left Levi alone as he swept your floor, he stole glances at you as you read a book at the table, even with your nose in a book he still felt on edge, you're unpredictable, you're bold enough to grab him whenever you feel like it. Just mess with me already! Levi thought as he swept, Why keep me in suspense?! He rolls his eyes realizing that’s probably the reason you are leaving him alone, to make him dwell on your next move. Levi’s hands sweat, making his grip on the broom damp and unbearable. He kneels down to sweep the dirt and debris into the dustpan then walks it over to the trash, only side-eyeing you as he moves to the receptacle. 

He rinses his hands in the sink before he starts on your dishes. 

You only gaze at the man when his back is turned, only when his back muscles tense or his head looks to rotate, you turn back to your book. You don’t want him to know you’re ogling him. You only made it look like you were reading, you felt every glare and scowl he gave you. You hold in your glee, still shocked at how you got him to wear the dress. 

How broken is this man to just go along with your whims? You sat there at the table listening to the sounds of water and porcelain echo your home. You stole one last glance before you got too greedy. This was a good time to look, night is setting in. Candlelight dances on Levi’s back, dipping into the ruffles of the dress, he just keeps scrubbing your plates intensely. Scraping scraps off your dishes into your trash he placed next to his side. It felt like foreplay watching him clean your home. You relish in it just a moment more before going back to your book.

Levi huffs, unable to figure out what’s going on in your head, it’s clear you're smarter than him, he slowly looks over his shoulder to see you’re still reading that damn book! Levi can no longer live in your silence. 

“What’s so great about that book?” he questions, “A moment ago you couldn’t keep your eyes off me.”

You grin finishing the last paragraph before folding the edge of the page to keep your place. Your head tilts up to eye him curiously. Levi locked on, he regrets opening his mouth, your grin only widened upon his unamused expression.

“You miss my eyes?”

“Tch,” Levi turns back to the sink, “Forget it..” he grumbled, rinsing the soap off a dish.

Levi slouches with displeasure, why is he here? This is a shit way to spend his day off.

Levi’s body stiffens feeling a presence behind him, A vein throbs in his neck as he strains himself from turning around and breaking the plate over his head. He sighs, not one to let someone remain behind him like this. Are you just gonna stand behind him forever, suddenly he’s sucking in air through his teeth, eyes darting down to your ice-cold hands latching onto him with no warning. Levi grips the edge of the sink to ground himself when you start to paw at him from behind.

"Do you curse god for making you look like this?" You sneer, chin resting on his shoulder, rubbing circles with your thumb around his left areola. “I’m barely on my tippy toes.”

Levi’s breath tumbles out of him, it feels as if he has been running, he gulps down the want to relax in your embrace, to melt into your hold on him. Levi scoffs as he dries a dish and stacks it on another. He figures the feelings will subside the more he focuses on cleaning. 

"The underground made me this way," he says, drilling the rag inside a glass. "I was malnourished as a child."

"Ah," you hid your discomfort from him, Levi's life thus far is tragic, and making fun of it is just cruel and shitty. "I see, and drinking all the tea can't help either," you try to sound malicious but it comes out more somber, you shut your mouth and focus on groping his pecks, your right-hand wanders down to press into the dips of his abs, "so hard, you're built like true soldier Levi, I don't think I ever had the pleasure to feel such a well-disciplined body," you tease, but there’s a lot of truth in your mocking praise.

Levi breaths through his nose as he tries to focus on drying the glass. Clearly you get off on this, but still, he can’t stop the warmth flushing his face. Levi wonders if he’s different, or if he’s the same as the others. It’s no secret you find him attractive.

"Feeling bored with your rich fatass regulars?"

You laughed amusingly, your hands become delicate and loving around the raven. 

"I forced this guy to wear a pig mask and oink up at me, saying 'i'm a fat pig fuck' again and again" you giggle “it was thrilling, belittling higher society."

You felt Levi's shoulders shake, you can’t believe it, could it be?!

"Did you just laugh?" You asked, trying to get a good look at his face. 

"Nope," he says, a little playful with his tone, cleaning your sink and rinsing all the soap down the drain. 

"Your lying," you say with a pout, "Do I have to punish you?"

"Isn't that why I'm here?" He said, easily releasing himself from your grasp, turning around to face you, "you gonna make me oink like a pig?" He questioned, liting his chin up, closing the gap between you two, you backed away feeling a little threatened, that face enthuses him. "Relax, If I wanted to I would have done it already," he says in a low menacing tone.

You swallowed thickly, he's waiting for you to say something. But you can't speak. Damn it! It’s happening again the shift in power. It’s obvious he doesn’t feel threatened by you, you shouldn’t have got soft with him. Now he’s gonna eat you whole. Your eyes are blown out, it takes everything inside you to keep you from quivering.

Levi screams at himself internally, he’s just not used to being submissive, he keeps scaring you and fucking up the night, he could have just stayed there with your arms wrapped around him. But no he had to open his mouth. He has to fix this. 

"Punish me," he demands, giving you the go-ahead, "Remind me why I'm the one in the dress." 

Your eyes change from fear to thrill, His tone, his words! It’s all so exciting. All your doubts vanished, you feel motivated.

"Get on the table," you said, giving the direction a little nod.

Levi fixed it, he fixed the balance of authority, but now you gave him an unsavory request. He turns his attention to the table, sizing it up and down, he moves to it, checking the sturdiness by placing a hand on it, giving it a light shake, it wobbled, Levi lifted a brow, not exactly sure this thing will support him. 

"Go on!" you demand.

"Alright," he mumbles, stepping on the chair, to get on the table. Normally he would just hop on but this thing has to be an antique. He starts with his knee, slowly he gets his whole body on the table, the way it creaks under his weight worries the man greatly. "I just wiped this damn thing down" he complains, hiding his concern, on all fours, he feels very uncomfortable.

"Calm yourself,” you say giving the table a little pat, “this table can handle more than you think." 

"Disgusting," he said flatly, 

You scoff, 

"Nothing like that," You bark, "now sit up on your knees perve."

"Don't cry to me when this shit table breaks," he retorts, getting in the position you want. "Now what?" he pouts.

You stride over to the table, standing in front of him, you shock him when you grab the trim of his dress and lift it to look at his underwear. He was quick to pull his dress back down.

"Hey! Who's the perv now? You shitty women!" he snaps.

You appear to be unphased with his outburst, 

"You're soft," you said unimpressed. 

Levi feels humiliation creep up inside him, he feels queasy. 

"Ya no shit, I'm in a fucken dress and I'm looking at you," he said to insult you but you only laugh.

You pull up a chair and sit at the head of the table, chin up, looking up at him.

"You don't find me attractive Levi?" you leer.

Levi blinks looking away from you, clearly not over you joking about his soft cock.

"You wear boyish clothes and filthy dresses. You look to be more on the heavier side, what do you weigh sixty Kilograms?"

You snort at that, 

"Does it bother you that I weigh a little more than you?"

Levi shuts his mouth, there's no good way to answer that question. 

"You should have requested me in something else," you said gripping at the bottom of your blouse.

"No need to take your clothes off,” Levi said with disinterest, “It wouldn't make a-" The man lost the will to speak as you pulled your baggy blouse over your head.

You smirk licking your lips, taking in his wide eyes, his jaw practically dropped on the table.

The room warmed up since you started the fire so going shirtless wasn't the worst, you kept your bra on, you're almost positive the man would get a nosebleed if you flashed him.

"I don't understand," he said, not even trying to be polite with his ogling. "Why the ugly clothes?"

"I wasn't trying to turn you on before, and as I said, you never requested an outfit."

"Huh…." He says and you chuckle,

"You a boob kinda guy?" you smirk.

"If they look like that then yes." 

"Wow, what happened to all the insults?" you snort, "how are we now?"

He finally blinks and looks down, he wouldn’t dare paw at himself in front of you, he does feel something happening though. 

"I'm getting there, maybe you could show me more…"

You chuckle knocking your head back.

"No imagination this guy" you announce to the room looking back at him you get out of the chair.

Levi’s body heat rose the closer you got to him, he’s quiet, watching your every move. He didn’t realize he bawled his dress into his fists. When your face was only inches from his.

"Have you forgotten?” your lips curl into a seductive grin, one Levi fell victim to, “you're supposed to be punished?" You spoke to him softly, placing a kind hand on his cheek, his eyes softened to the touch. Levi wants to lean in, is that what you want from him? Levi’s stomach turns once he sees your face twist with a sneer, quickly you grip a chunk of his hair and slam his face into the table. 

Levi breathes heavily, on all fours, turning his head to glare at you. The table creaks hazardously, forcing Levi to go still.

"Remember Captain,” you muse, gripping tight on his hair, “you have a safe word." 

"There is nothing you could do to break me," he growls.

You pause, suddenly the hand gripping so tightly to Levi's hair loosened, you're slipping out of your role only for a moment.

"I surrender," you say shallowly, freeing Levi from your grip, his head perks confused, is this a part of it?. "Levi quick pause," you give him the real deal expression that you need to talk.

He sits upon his knees.

"Are you ok?" he asked, concerned.

"Yeah, well… no, uh,” you sit yourself down, “ I'm not sure I’ll be able to do this, I really don't want you to hate me."

"I want you to," he says honestly, "I came to see you not for the creepy perverted stuff though you do look quite nice, I want the other stuff.."

"I know… I wanted that stuff too, but then I think of the time we spent together, I never see any clients outside of the building, if I do I run out of sight,” you cover your chest feeling vulnerable, “When I saw you that day at the orphanage, I didn’t wanna run… it just really hurts to be this mean to someone like you." you frown.

Levi couldn't believe this bullshit. He’s in this damn dress on your damn table and right when he finally gets to the good stuff you tuck your tail between your legs. Because what? Cuz he’s a nice guy? Who the hell do you think he is?! No, Levi will just have to push you.

"You can't be serious,” Levi eyes you, like your pathetic and in his way, “I'm the one in the damn dress, I’m not asking you to dig your fucken heel into my dick,” he raises his voice and apart of you felt like cowering, “We both know why I came back here! Be the bitch I met at the fucken bar, be the cunt who had me quivering in my own piss. Be her or maybe I'll put you in the dress."

Your jaw unhinged as you gasped dumbfounded, you pour your heart out to this fuck and he calls you a cunt!? Wow… just wow! Your hands balled into fists at your sides, eyes like daggers into Levi, you felt like screaming.

"We're going back in," you say nearly stomping a foot into the floorboards.

Levi narrows his eyes back at you, repeating what he said before your little, piss and moan party.

“There is nothing you can do to make me break."

"I was hoping you say that," you grin, that same look of rage in your eyes. 

Levi still on all fours looked forward as you circled him.

"Look at you, I wonder what your Commander would say, seeing you in such a state, should-" your voice cracks and you correct yourself, "shouldn't you be fulfilling your promise to him? So many have died and you're still standing," you stop moving to bore your eyes into him, "did you make the right choice? It hurts, doesn't it? Being alone?"

Levi nods, he looks irritated but his arms wobble trying to keep him steady, 

"You see you're a lot like this table Levi, you look sturdy," you reach a hand out inches from his face, "but really, you're a feather away from collapsing."

Levi nods up at you silently telling you it’s ok, and you crack him hard in the face, stinging the fuck out of your hand. I think that alone may have been enough for you.

"Levi I can't do this to you."

"It doesn't even hurt," he says, not understanding your hesitation.

"Not the fucken slapping, just uhg,” you groan loudly, “get off the fucken table," you say holding back your emotions he just scoffs getting off it, and stands in front of you. You lean against the wall rubbing your temples.

"You're a little pussy aren't you?" Levi glares slamming a hand on the wall next to your head, you jump from the sound. "Can't handle the weight of my sins? Too sad to talk about huh? How I killed hundreds, how I just kept on my horse and looked away as my comrades died behind me,” you turn your head away from him and he laughs, not out of humor but out of pain, “they put there trust in me and I just say, their deaths are worth saving humanity, their sacrifices will be the downfall of the beast titan!" He growls in your face, "Fucken hit me already!" he demands and you shake your head quietly, shaking as this man yells in your face. 

"I deserve it, just do it already! Kenny would do it without batting an eye, the world has been kicking me since I was born, so just muster up the strength and hit me!"

Levi's desperate now to get you to strike him down, he needs you to tear him apart. He can see them all just looking at him, wondering what he’s done with their sacrifices, it’s all too much! 

"Come on Master strike me down, please Master put me in my place!" he saw your eyes twitch at his words, he chuckles, he knows you appeal to begging. “Come on you know you want to, I’m a monster after all.”

“You're not a monster,” you breathe eyeing the deranged look on his face.

“Well, maybe I just need to treat you like the men of the underground did? Just take you in your own home,” he glares to your now sniffling face, your eyes dart away from him as your breath sporadically, “you think the table can handle it?” 

You felt like crying, grabbing the man by the back of the head and forcing his face down to your knee. Levi falls on his ass, blood streaming out of his nose, staining the dress. He looks up at you, wiping his face with the back of his hand. 

"You gonna thank your Master?" You fumed, kicking him down and shoving your boot on the side of his face. 

"Thank you," he says sternly, just letting his body go limp, he deserves this, this will make him feel the weight of his mistakes. "keep fucking going" he closes his eyes awaiting the next swift kick of your new-found rage.

You take your boot off him, Levi opens his eyes flinching when a cloth smacks his face. Breathing heavily you squat down next to him.

"Levi you’re sick!” you yell at him, “you think that gratitude and love is pain, you think that if I kick the piss out of you you will get a good night sleep tonight, you're not even hard, I do BDSM, what you want is self-harm, but your too much of a coward to do it yourself!”

Levi held the cloth to his nose, he dropped it after you called him a coward.

"What?" He said quietly, you back into the wall breathing sporadically, clenching your jaw with hurt in your eyes, your fists are still balled up, you're so angry, so pissed at the stupid man in front of you.

"You remember when I asked you those simple questions at the bar?” you ask as you breathe heavy, repressing your rage. “You couldn't answer me when I asked to love or hate because you think they are the same."

"So what if I do?” Levi blinked, “Why should you care? Just fulfill your client's needs and beat me senseless,” he crawls to you and grabs you by the shoulders, “fuck me up beyond recognition!"

"Levi I refuse,” you said with your hands open and against you.

“What use are you!? Wretched women! Hit me or I’ll-”

Levi stopped talking once he saw you openly sobbing, 

“Get out!” you cry, “you're no longer my client!" 

Levi’s shoulders slumped and his fury drowns in your tears. He did it, he pushed you, he pushed you so hard that he broke you, this hurts far more than any injury you could have given him. Levi eyes his hands gripped tight on your shoulders, he lets go and breaths out of his nose.

"I… I surrender…." He said quietly, "I surrender,” he said solemnly, “please, I don’t want to leave, I’m sorry...”

"Levi…." Your body still shook even though he’s become submissive again, "I like you, you're respectable and handsome,” you wipe the tears out of your eyes. “You need someone to show you love and compassion. Not pain and suffering, I want to be the person, if not just for the night."

Levi looked away from you wiping his blood off his face with the cloth you threw at him.

"Fuck, just do something" he complains.

Levi jumps out of his skin as your face gets closer to his, you eye his lips and he feels like all the air was taken from him. 

“Wait.” he warns as you take the cloth from his hand and grab his face, you can tell his nose stopped bleeding. “I-” Levi’s words cut off by your lips.

Warmth, Levi felt feverish with his lips pressed against yours, he wasn't ready, nor was he prepared for this advance. The kiss was quick, a simple stamp of your lips onto his, but it was the first time he felt true romantic intimacy with another person. You pulled away and he felt lost, just for a moment he forgot where he was, how’d his head become so hazy? He places the rag back up to his nose, hiding his compromised complexion. 

"I'm gonna make you feel the most incredible release of your sad little life,” you whisper, face still close to him, he can’t look you in the eye, just kept holding the rag, his heart pounding violently in his ears. “but you gotta promise me not to fight it unless it really hurts"

“Huh?” Levi says through half-lidded eyes, you just chuckle, taking the cloth from his hand, tossing it across the room. Levi then covers his mouth and nose with his hand, he’s never felt this kind of sexual heat, you make his body tremble with nerves.

“You bathed before coming here?”

"Yes?" Levi raised a brow as to why you would ask such a question. 

"Good," you got up to wash your hands in the sink, “get back on the table.”

Levi said nothing to protest, he was just happy your back is turned, he can take his hand off his face and grip at his chest, he needs to calm his breathing, it was just one kiss, he’s too old to feel this way. Levi breathed in deep and released that breath with his eyes closed. He took a minute before getting up to get back on your shitty table.

You keep your back turned, you know he needs a moment to compose himself, you wanted nothing more than to take him right then and there, but that wasn't the plan, you can't be selfish with this man. Just stick to the plan. You hear the creaks of your table. You dry your hands with the rag on the counter. 

Levi, back on his hands and knees waits for your return. It only took one kiss to get him to behave. Levi’s brows furrow thinking of what would happen if you did more, would he just crumble and do whatever you ask? Who is he kidding, he’s on a fucken table in a dress, he already will do whatever you ask, feeling rather impatient he turned back to see what's taking you so long. 

"look forward," you advise, now next to his side, hands dry and ready to go, you casually lift the back of his dress. 

The sudden chill on Levi’s ankles forced him to turn to you. You spank him hard on the ass.

"I said, look forward!" you spoke sternly, Levi could tell your back into character.

"Wretched women" he hissed, facing forward.

You take a moment before moving on, unsure how safe this is, he could easily kill you for what you're about to do. He nearly struck you minutes ago, He's not restrained and he has a short fuse. You proceed with caution, just thinking of how wonderful it would be to see his face all twisted in pleasure, not emitting pure rage. 

You hiked the dress over his waist, revealing his boxer briefs. 

"What is the meaning of this?" he retorts.

"Relax, I'm just admiring your ass," you said and he cringed.

"This is strange, I told you I wasn’t into the perverted shit" 

“Just bear with me,” you say, spanking him again. Levi grunts, not from the slap but from his displeasure of the situation. 

Ok, here we go, you say in your head, pumping yourself up. You climb onto the table and Levi becomes unshelved with the table wobbling under him, he reaches to each side, desperate to keep the thing steady.

"Woah! I don't think this thing can handle both of us" he cautions.

"You're a dog, Levi,” You say as you grip his hips and back his ass into your pelvis. Levi’s eyes widen still facing forward, your gripping his hips so dominantly, he can feel that heat again, pooling from deep inside his stomach.  
“Deep down I bet you think that all you're good at is taking orders from your owners and barking them back to your underlings." 

"Get the fuck off me!" Levi growls and you snicker, leaning your body against his back. 

Levi grips the ends of the table again as it wobbles. Oh fuck, your chest is rubbing against him, your so sinful to tease him this way. His attention then goes to the hand gripping around his throat, his breath hitched as you breathe heavily into his ear. 

"You're all bark and no bite?" You whisper in his left ear, Levi’s left eye closes from the feeling, he can’t elbow you off him, all his strength is being used to keep him from collapsing.

“Hah!” Levi cried out a short whine right when you stuck your tongue inside. He bites down hard, on his bottom lip, trapping his voice. Arms turning into jelly as your hot wet tongue laps and nibbles at his ear lobe, his left arm gives out, he’s forced to rest his weight on his elbow.

You lean off him and sit up on your knees, thrusting your hips again against him. He’s unable to stop you, he lost control of his body after you violated his ear.

You dip your fingers under the elastic of his boxer briefs, quickly you pull them down, you could feel his body shake under you.

“Wha- what are you doing?” Levi trembles, you just keep a calm tone, hoping that will keep him from retaliating.

"Relax Levi, it’ll hurt if you stay all tensed up," you stick two fingers in your mouth, still close to his ear so he can hear you slurping on your fingers.

"You stick that in my ear I'll flip you off me," he threatens.

"Oh, good thing it's going in your ass," you say nonchalantly before he could protest your already teasing at his hole.

Levi froze, 

"What are you doing?!" His voice raises with shock, your wet fingers rubbing around his hole. His right hand gives out and he gasps, his body falls into a panic, is this really happening?! No this is just disgusting!

Levi has had enough of this, he rolls himself over under you, he could care less if the table gives out like he’s gonna let you do this to him. He pulls the dress down and presses his hand on your collar bone, stiff-arming you away from him.

"Stay away from my ass! Disgusting bitch!" he shouts bearing his teeth like an injured animal that just got cornered.

"Levi" you breathed, staring at his pitched tent. "Listen to your body," you said delicately taking his hand off you and placing it on his bulge. His eyes widened, all his rage faltered, his face turned red.

"I can't be turned on by this," he shakes his head slowly, embarrassed.

"Yes you can," you encourage, leaning down to kiss his neck. 

Levi shudders, your lips hot against his skin, so fucken hot, fear crept up in his head, can he stop you? Or will he submit? His body is overheating, your hands! They’re all over him,

“Ah” Levi grimaces at his own voice, did he just moan?! His eyes close, feeling embarrassed after hearing you chuckle, kissing his collar bone. You all over him, touching his body, kissing him places he had no clue was so sensitive. He can’t do this, he has to speak up, say something, open his mouth. 

"I can't do this with a prostitute…." he said breathing shallowly his voice sounded desperate, desperate for you to stop.

"I'm not a prostitute," you said sternly, "you’re not even my client, I wouldn't ever do anything intimate with a client."

Levi pushes you off, you sit up eyeing him. His eyes darted every which way as he thought of his next move, he’s no longer your client? That ended before you two even kissed, so what is this then? He gulped back the saliva building up in his mouth. You patiently wait for him to say what he so desperately wants to tell you. 

"Does this mean I can touch you?" 

You were hesitant still on the nervous side, it has been a minute since you let a guy touch you. Your not looking to have sex with Levi tonight, you proceed with caution.

“Uh… I guess,” you said, Levi’s eyes dilate from your answer.

“You ready?” he asked daring to reach for you.

"Ok…" you said keeping still, straddling him, Levi’s shaking hands move slowly to your sides, his cold hands remind you that your topless. 

“Sorry, my hands must be cold,” he says rubbing his thumbs sensually at the curves of your hips.

you unintentionally close your eyes, melting into the feeling of being touched so gently.  
“Feels good,” you say aloud and Levi nods,

“It does, your skin is soft.”

You giggle,

“No Levi, I mean the way your touching me feels good.” 

“Oh.” Levi eyes his hands on your supple body then gazes up at you, “Good.”

You smile softly, Levi can act so innocent when it comes to intimacy, almost makes you forget how many Titans he’s slain. 

You lean back down and this time Levi is ready, at least he thinks he is, he tilts his head and invites you in. His lips trembled a moment, it was cute, the dude really lacked intimacy, you could tell by how excited he was just by simple kissing. 

Being this close to the man is dangerous, the scent of him is so intoxicating, you feel slight drunkard catching small whiffs. His lips are soft and beautiful, hints of iron invade your senses, it’s subtle you can easily ignore it. Your back shivers with the feeling of being watched. 

You pull away after a moment feeling your skin crawl, 

“Levi, close your eyes,” you say holding yourself releasing all the creepy feelings.

Levi eyes narrow, 

“But then I can’t see you..” 

You scoff,

“Levi no one kisses with their eyes open.” 

“Whatever just get back here,” he says shortly, and you scoff again, going back to kissing.

You lift your ass off his lap, reaching a hand down and under his dress to prod again at his hole, he pushes you again this time with irritation.

"You still on that?" he glares.

You lean in to kiss him, he lets you, thinking you finally let go of your unsavory obsession with his backside. Your pokes at his lips, you can tell he’s grimacing, “Open your mouth,” you whisper and he nervously does so, you stick your tongue in his mouth deepening the kiss, moaning as you go. 

Levi’s eyes flutter, he never heard such a delicious sound. His whole body tingled, from this new kind of interaction, he thought something like this would gross him out, it’s the opposite. He’s happily taken by the euphoric taste of you, he would drink your saliva like water, looking back he has done that before but this time he wouldn’t fuss or complain. Levi’s hands run up your back, gripping you tight, embracing you closely, as his tongue explores your mouth, Unintentionally He moans back.

"Relax,” you kiss his temple in hopes to calm him, “it’ll feel slightly uncomfortable but only for a moment then you will feel incredible."

“(Y/n) can’t we just kiss?” Levi pouts and you sigh,

“Just try it once and we will never do it again unless you want to,” you wink.

“Tch,” Levi glares to the left. As your hand reaches back under his dress. He winces the more you poke at him, he's too embarrassed to say anything, he wants to keep going and you’re the expert here. It felt good when you kissed him so maybe this will too.

"Fine" he groans, giving in. relaxing his body.

Your so happy, you kiss him as if to praise him for his bravery, he can feel your lips curl into a grin, even while kissing you manage to smile. 

"Spread your legs for me,” you instruct him, “Jerk yourself as I go, it will help amplify the orgasm.”

“You are so bizarre….” He grumbles, hiking his dress to grab at himself. Levi didn’t wanna see your face, he can tell your looking at it, he became self-conscious. Is he not big enough? Does it look weird? 

"Damn….”

Levi’s head perks up to see you looking at him with approval, which gave him a confidence boost. 

"You, like- ah!" He rasps as you finally get your finger inside him. He covers his eyes with his arm, falling back on the table. "fuck! This is so gross!" Levi complains, too shamefaced to remove his arm from his eyes. 

"Oh? But your dick must be throbbing in your hand huh?" You say relishing in his unraveling.

"Ah, uh, nnnggg" Levi pants underneath you, barely able to tug at his cock, his arms are going numb, “it feels too weird. My body is… on fire” 

"You unraveled so quickly," you tease, wiggling in a second finger, you watch Levi’s eyes squint and his mouth gape open, releasing cute tumbling breaths, "I can't imagine what you will look like when I find your G-spot."

"My what?" he closes his eyes from the pleasure and discomfort.

"Shh!" You shush him staring at the wall as you search, "I think I'm close," you feel around inside him.

Levi strokes himself under you, making uncomfortable faces as you search for this mystery spot inside him. Suddenly there’s this jolt of lightning that rattles his entire body, Levi grips the table as his body jerks, 

“Ah!” Levi rasps, it's starting to feel good! He bites down on his lip in fear he would moan like a fucken bitch in front of you again.

"That feel good?" You ask, grinning from the way he white knuckles the edges of the table, "your eyes are rolling back, it’s fucken hot."

"It felt like something" He grunts out, letting go of the table to run a hand through his hair, he wants to laugh at how fucken ridiculous he sounds. 

You chuckle, what a manly thing to say, but then you gasp filled with sparks of excitement, Levi’s eyes grew wide and his back arched, he mewls as he jerks himself faster.

"I grazed it!" You beam, "fuck my arm is getting tired, but I finally feel it, it's like a bump inside you, a little bundle of nerves,” you grin, feeling accomplished for your discovery, “can you feel this?" You ask caressing it.

His hand grips onto the edge of the table the other covers his mouth. 

He moans into his hand, eyes drooping, liquid prickling in his eyes, 

Your heart races with thrill, Levi never looked so perfect. 

"Oh you feel it alright, I bet it feels insane," you tease as you caress it more, now with your two fingers.

"What, what is this feeling!" Levi whines turning his head away from you, "my brain feels like it's melting, oh fuck, I can't think." 

"Oh, I bet it does, keep tugging, don't you wanna cum?" 

"What?" He looked at you confused, you rake his body with your eyes, he’s a mess, all sweaty and moaning beneath you, he can’t even fuck himself not while your fingers are fucking him.

"Uh oh, seems you're lost in the pleasure,” you patronize him, he’s too much of a mess to retort, he nods, agreeing with you. Fuck what a man, you thought, licking your lips. “stroke your cock Captain." 

He nods again, obeying your command, He wraps a hand around his cock, even though his arms are going numb from the Fogg filling up his brain, he still manages to stroke, you gave him a command after all. Levi’s toes curl in his boots, getting closer, his short heavy breaths, start coming out quicker and higher.

Euphoria is building up in his eyes, he's close, his warm wet walls keep clenching down on your fingers it won't be much longer till he bursts.

"Ah! Uh! Nnnnggg ffffuccckk!” Levi can no longer keep his voice down, “It's coming! Ah!" He whimpers, fucking himself faster and faster AND FASTER!! Breath frantic eyes darting to the ceiling.

You don't dare move out of the way, his head knocks back hard into the table, his body arches up and his cum flies, raining down on his dress, his face and hair. 

Your soaked watching his face twist with pleasure, pearls grazing his face, streaming down his right cheek, his tongue slightly out of his mouth as he pants like a dog, eyes disappeared into the back of his head, not yet to return, his complexion flushed as he whimpers out. You had no clue his voice could get so high yet sound so husky. Levi just lays there limp, breathing heavily as his eyelids flutter and his head sways left to right mumbling like an idiot.

He rode his orgasm for what felt like hours, in reality, it was far less than that, once he regained control of his body his eyes looked up to you like you were the angel of death.

"Am I dead?" 

You giggle wiping the cum off his face with the trim of the dress. He’s still far too stimulated to move.

"No, you been reborn," you snicker. 

"Oh…" he breathed, then closed his eyes and turned his head to the side.

You pull back with concerned eyes, watching his chest go up then down, then up then down, did he? Did he just pass out? 

"Levi?" You call to him, nothing he just sleeps away. "Levi?!" You smack him lightly on the cheek, still, he sleeps, "Levi! You can't sleep on my dining table!" You shout still nothing. You cover your mouth with panic.

Oh, no! Did you knock him out? He won't wake up! 

...

Levi stood in a dark room, how did he get there? Where was he before? His eyes squint painfully at an incredible light, shining down at him from somewhere high, where he was, he wasn't sure but it was peaceful, it was quiet and safe, he never felt safe before, maybe a quick moment when he was living with Kenny but this feels even better than that, he shields his eyes, should he move towards the light? 

Then he hears a voice. 

It sounds distressed, someone is crying? He turns away from the light and moves towards the sound. It sounds like it’s in trouble, he has to help whoever that is. 

Levi’s eyes burst open, he stares blankly at the ceiling, his tired eyes then turn to you, your sobbing sitting at the table.

"Oh fuck! Oh, my golly!” you cry hysterically, seeing Levi’s blue tried eyes on you, you got out of your chair. “I thought I killed you" you sobbed bending down to wrap your arms around him.

"I think you almost did…" he said rubbing his eyes sitting up, "how long was I out?"

"An hour," you said with a rasp in your voice, rubbing your red eyes. "I almost killed humanity's strongest soldier!" You sniffle, "I truly am a wretched woman."

"Shut up," he says sitting up. "I was only sleeping," he yawns, "wow, I never felt so exhausted." He slowly gets off the table. He rubs his back, all that arching left him sore.

The house became quiet, Levi's unsure what to say, seems your acting the same way, just standing there holding your hands up against yourself. You two then turn to the only noise in the room, the crackle of the wood in your fireplace. 

"I better change," Levi says, breaking the silence heading into the spare room. 

"Oh, uh, yeah!" you say nodding frantically, "You better get going before they worry about you." 

Once changed he walked back out of the spare room and towards the door.

He caught you in the middle of wiping down your table. You smile, rag in hand, still feeling bad about putting his ass to sleep. 

You kinda stood there, still not sure what to say, you two shared some extreme intimacy, the smell of it still filled the air. Levi blinks back then open your door.

"Wash your hands and put a shirt on, have you no shame?" Levi grimaces with disgust.

You sigh, 

"I think I liked you better when you were sleeping."

"Tch, goodnight," Levi says opening your door, letting the cold of the night smack him in the face, the air woke him up a bit.

"Goodnight," you said back.”

Levi stood there a moment longer, he turned his head to eye you over his shoulder, 

“Thank you… for tonight, it wasn't all bad."

“Oh! Uh yeah..” you rub your arms, taken by the chill of the outside dancing on your bare skin. “I had fun too.”

Levi then left your home shutting it behind him, you walk over to lock it. You sigh placing both hands on the door, pressing your forehead against the cold wood.

You push yourself off the door and turn to face the kitchen, your eyes catch the bloody rag, the one Levi used it to hide his blushing face. Bending over you pick it up. Five feet away is a puddle of Levi's blood, getting on your hands and knees you scrun away with the rag. At that moment there's extreme sorrow, you can't stop yourself from recollecting how hard you kicked him down. What was truly scarring is how badly he wanted you to hurt him. Tears fall into the blood your smearing into the wood. You let the rag drop out of your grip and look to your hands, they are covered in blood now, in Levi's blood... You got off the floor and go to the sink to wash your hands and fill a bucket so you can clean up the blood properly.


	4. Give Up On Pursuing Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: talk of death, action, cursing, NSFW, SMUT and fluff

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I loved! loved writing this chapter!!! Levi prepares to leave for a month-long expedition, he worries his line of work is too dangerous to move forward with a love interest. Levi feels conflicted with his growing feelings for the reader.
> 
> Later during the expedition, Levi falls into a lust spell and embarrassingly relieves himself in his tent.

You woke up late, really late, no time to make breakfast. You're not too upset though, Last night was worth it, seeing Levi in such a vulnerable state, covered in his own cum, his eyes fluttering with euphoria. His voice whimpering out, how fucking lovely it be for him to chant your name in that tone. The thought alone had you holding your warm face and letting out an excited squeal. You jump into something clean and hustle to the kitchen.

Your place is still a mess, the only clean place is that spot on the floor where Levi’s blood puddle used to be, you scrubbed on your hands and knees all night, you practically removed the stain finish off the wood. That excited feeling you had a moment ago washed away leaving you with a twist in your stomach. Levi has demons, they take over the expressions of his face each time he’s filled with anger, you saw those demons for the first time last night, you could have sworn his eyes were nothing but white. The man’s so wound up with regret, grief, and PTSD, his pain emanates off his skin, holding his handset you on fire yet chilled you to the bone, so desperate to be held. And kissing him, kissing him felt like your hearts connected, the way he held on to every embrace as if it was his very first and his last. You have to inhale deeply and hold it there to suck back the tears forming in your eyes. 

Finally, you let that breath go and move on before you make yourself even later. You push your head into the hoodie and grab an apple, with haste, you run out the door. Once outside you shove the apple in your mouth holding it securely with your teeth, so you can have free hands to lock up your front door. Once you turn around you nearly choke on the first bite. Levi and his horse are waiting for you at the end of your yard. 

The raven-haired man just stares at your surprised face all unimpressed. You're frozen in mid-stride, all the thoughts from this morning hit you all at once. 

"Took you long enough," he glares, it seems it's never too early to criticize you. "what would you have done if I hadn't shown up? You'd be late, that's what."

"Levi?" You say with juice from the apple dribbling down your chin.

"Don't talk with food in your mouth," He scolds, "it's disgusting."

You swallow as fast as you could, the large lump of pre-chewed fruit nearly lodged itself in your windpipe. You cough harshly and punch yourself lightly on the chest. 

"What *cough* sorry, what are you doing here?" You wheeze, walking over to pet his horse.

He leans against it, arms crossed, eyeing you. 

"What's it look like? Genius, I'm taking you to work. Good thing too, you would have been at least twenty minutes late."

"Don't you have your job to worry about?" You question with a brow raised, "and how do you know my work schedule?" 

Levi lets you take another bite before answering.

"The scouts are near your work building, taking you there, is on the way, do you want the ride or not?"

"You nosey man," you tease, giving him a cheeky smile, he just groans looking away from you. "you peeked at my schedule on the counter, didn't you?"

"Hop on or don't," he says, swinging himself onto the saddle, "I could care less."

"I'll take it," you say, giving his horse the rest of your breakfast, Levi reaches over to give you his hand, you take it and plant a foot on the stirrup, he pulls you up and behind him.

You grip his waist and lean into him, catching that fresh floral cedar scent. He smells amazing, you can’t stop yourself from wrapping your arms around him and nuzzling into his back. Levi relaxed into your hold on him, but only for a moment. 

"Keep your wondering hands at my waist or I'll have the horse buck you off."

You do as you're told and keep it modest, Levi commands his horse to dash and the way you go.

Once you arrived at work Levi got off first to help you down, you could get down yourself but something tells you Levi wants to help you so you let him.

"Thanks again for the ride," you said very appreciatively. 

"Don't mention it," he says like it was nothing. His eyes then move to the front door of your work. Your body jolts when he moves towards it. 

Quickly you move to block him.

"Woah, what are you doing?" You ask laughing slightly uncomfortable to where this is heading. 

"I'm gonna walk you in," he said holding that indifference even with the look on your face.

"Levi, you know you can't do that," you raise your brows.

"Oh? Why's that?" he asks defensively and you just sigh.

"Levi My morning client is waiting in there, I can't have you scaring him off."

Levi scoffs,

"If he scares so easily then you must get bored quick"

"Levi, of course, he bores me,” you say arms open, “But the guy pays me a grand a week just to resight his shitty scripts for his distasteful plays."

Levi’s eyes twitched, you get paid that much to just read?

"The freak gets off to that?"

You shrug,

"He's a narcissist, it's easy money,"

"How is that BDSM?" Levi places a hand on his hip.

"I wear a latex suit and crack a whip," you say nonchalantly. 

Levi flatlines his mouth taken back with the thought of you in such an outfit, the sound of a whip cracks in his head, oh fuck he bets you look insanely attractive in a skin-tight latex, how the fuck does this sick creep get to see that and not him?!

"At least he's not asking for you to suck his toes" 

"Ew Levi, that's gross! you know my strict policy with my clients."

"Not sure to be honest,” he says with judgemental eyes, “you did quite a lot with me."

"You were different and you know that," you say softly, resting a hand on his chest, you then straighten out his jacket. "I like to keep you and my work life separate, ok?"

Levi wants to be more assertive with his words but he’s far too distracted with how good of a job you're doing removing the dirt from his jacket. 

"But what if-"

"You taught me some moves and I told you before I'm sticking to my regulars, all my regulars are weak, sad pathetic aristocrats, nothing to worry about" you smile at him but he keeps his pout. 

"Fine, I won't walk you in, I have a meeting I need to haul ass too anyway,” Levi retorts.

"Exactly! Have a good day at work Captain" you grin watching him get back on the saddle. 

"Please don't do anything stupid, have a bodyguard hide in the shadows or something, you have bodyguards right?" Levi starts to rant, "I have a list of people I can recommend for you,"

"Levi, I got someone, it's all covered,” you say trying to shoo him, “please go to work."  
…….

Week later.

Levi leaned himself against the wall of the Scouts strategy room. He eyes the board as Hange wrote down the names of each captain and the subordinates they had to lead. He listened closely through the protocols, plan A, B, C, and D. The new color smoke they added to the flare guns and the meaning behind them, Levi was attentive, till he wasn't. His eyes remained on the board but his mind went elsewhere. 

So he’s going on another expedition, he better go see you before he leaves, it seems he may be gone for a while, maybe he should set up a date for when he returns, something fancy, he gets paid well so taking you out somewhere within the walls Scina wouldn’t be a problem. Do you have a dress? Like a nice one? Probably not, that could be a problem, he could ask for your size and buy you one himself, but he worries that a question like that would embarrass you and leave you stomping off. What if he just gave you the money and told you to pick out your own dress? Levi grimaces, no you would find that insulting, you'd probably glare at him with those pretty eyes and rant about how independent you are and how you have your own money. He decides the best thing to do is tell you to find a dress an aristocrat would wear. You may find his wording amusing, may even get a little excited that he is taking you out somewhere so lavish. Levi clenched his jaw, traveling to Scina will involve a hotel stay. Being alone with you, sharing a bed, the thought frightens him. Levi has no doubt you would eat him alive the moment he closed the door. Can he handle a mad woman like you?

“Alright, any questions about the formation?” Hange asks the room full of soldiers, Levi’s head perks up, is the meeting over? Levi checks out the faces in the room, how long was he spacing out for? “Ok, good, will meet at the stables tomorrow at 0600,” Hange says, now gathering their things off their desk. Scouts then stand up and out of the booths to exit the room, Levi stays behind to speak to Hange.

“Did you make your list?” They ask with a curious head tilt.

“List?” Levi narrows his eyes at the tall one in the room.

Hange gives him a confused look.

“Well we are going to be gone for thirty to thirty-one days, we all make lists for the things we will need that the government won't issue.”

“30 days?” Levi said that with a slight surprise, his shock had Hange even more confused.

“Levi, what were you thinking about the whole time I was presenting? It’s obvious you weren’t paying attention,” Hange fixes her glasses with concern and curiosity, “that’s not like you.”

Levi eyes the left with some conviction. 

“I was listening,” he snorts, “Don’t be ridiculous Hange, I made my list, shopping for long expeditions is just tedious, not something I’m looking forward to.” 

Levi kept up the facade, Hange just stared him down then blinked with a smile.

“It is, isn't it?" they agree, "I have one myself it’s so long, but still, it’s nothing we’re not used to.”

“Yeah, guess not,” he says shortly. Turning away from them to the open door. 

Hange follows him,

“We should knock this out now,” They say following Levi to their horses tied up and waiting for them. “Then we can grab some lunch and I can fill you in on what I spoke about in the meeting,”

“Thanks, you mind if we change lunch to dinner? I’m gonna be busy after I get this list done.”

“Busy? With what?” Hange questions.

“I’ll be going to see (Y/n) before she goes into work,” Levi answers honestly, hopping on his horse,

Hange grins widely,

“Can I tag along? I wanna see what her place looks like, what books she reads! Oh and the clothes she wears.”

“No” Levi answers flatly and Hange rubs the back of their neck, they let the rejection go effortlessly.

“Right, Id only be intruding, I’m sure you two have a lot to talk about, can’t say I don’t envy you there, Morblit always came along with me everywhere I went, so we never had to deal with separation”

Levi narrows his eyes not sure what they’re babbling about. 

“What does that have to do with (Y/n) and I?”

Hange raised a brow.

“You are going to tell her about the expedition right?”

“Yeah,”

“Well she’s gonna worry about you is all,” Hange shrugs with sympathy, “you gotta word it right, to keep her mind at ease. It’s important for you too, you don’t want to be distracted out there thinking of what you should have said”

A nervous feeling starts to develop deep inside the raven, he knows his duty as a scout could easily include bravely dying in battle, Levi has accepted and was even ready to carry out such duty on multiple occasions. This was the only time he felt hesitant about his ideology. If he was to inform you of his deployment he knows you will worry about him. That worry is a lot on anyone let alone a love interest. 

“Damn, this woman is gonna be the end of me,” Levi complained, and Hange snickers, 

“Yeah, never pegged you for the companion type Captain, just don’t let it take control of you as it did during the meeting, a lot of soldiers die in an instant while distracted."

Levi said nothing to Hange’s last words, they bored into him, he’s unable to talk back, not with the new anxieties surfacing. Is it wrong? For him to pursue a young woman with nothing but their life ahead of them? What kind of person would he be to make you a widow? To have you waste your best years waiting for his return home after long departures. Levi frowns to himself, hands gripping tightly to the reins. Hange just eyed up at him, they could see Levi is processing something in his mind.

"Captain?" They call to him and his eyes narrow back to them.

"I'll see you in town shitty Glasses." He grumbles, before commanding his horse to move. 

...

The ride into town felt longer than usual and gave Levi plenty of time to think. As much as he enjoys his time with you, as much as he loves to be touched by you, rather it is a kiss or even your hand in his, he can't be selfish and keep this going. The best thing for him to do is to not see you ever again, just completely erase himself, you'd hate him for it and move on to someone who could give you a lovely life, a happy long life with brats and a stable home. Someone that stays inside the walls, You're too much trouble for him anyway. This is the right thing to do. He's a soldier and belongs to no one but the survey corps. His promise to Erwin still remains and he won't rest till it’s fulfilled, even if it kills him. Adding you into his life will only distract him from his goal. This is the right thing to do, Levi repeats in his head as if it would easily cancel out his feelings for you. This is the right thing to do.

While Levi tracks down the items on his list, you're just waking up and starting the day.

...

You woke up mid-morning, not even trying to sleep in, you’ve been sleeping well lately. After a very dramatic stretch followed by a yawn, you toss your covers off your body and hop out of bed to the shower.

Your shower was long and refreshing, matching the good mood you have today. You slip on your bra and panties and a cute silk robe. Today you don't have to go to work till five, You're already looking forward to kicking back and reading a good book, you release another stretch on your way to the kitchen, your cupboards are bare, you haven't gone shopping yesterday, or the day before that, you neglected to get groceries for a while now.

You groan, yanking off the towel wrapped around your head, you stomp off to your closet to Inspect your choices. You end up picking out a fun breathable white dress, slipping it on you find a lovely tan corset to wrap around your waist. You eye yourself in the mirror as you tighten it and tie it in the back with a bow. You love this look, you choose to not let this ruin your morning, shopping can be fun. You fix your cleavage, some skin can be tasteful, never know who will you bump into…. Of course when you think that you're thinking of Levi.

You grab the basket you stuffed haphazardly in the closet. And leave your home.

The walk into town is pleasant but somewhat cold, mornings can sometimes come with a chill in the air, but the sun will warm your body soon. The first place you wanted to stop at was the butchers, then the spirits shop, you need a bottle of wine. As you eyed the selection you had a funny thought, what is Levi's drink of choice? The first time you saw him he was drinking wine but, he seemed to be completely sober. You also couldn't help but think of how he slept last night, did he hit the pillow as you did? Probably not, he does have insomnia and from all, you learned about sleep illnesses in your university days, you understand something like that can be complicated. You shrug to yourself then grab some sweet red wine and go to the shopkeeper to purchase it.

Next, you need the general store, you fill your basket with all kinds of things, soap, rags, paper, writing utensils, and condoms, you grab those last, they sit on top of everything else in your basket. You then stop to ponder on what razors would work best on your nether region, suppose the men's razor is best for the jungle you desperately need to cut down between your legs. The women's brand is dull and mediocre so your choice was an easy one. You reach for the Razor pack but your beat to it, you turn your head to snarl at who would just grab something from you so rudely. 

Hange stood there giggling as they dangled the razer pack in front of you.

“Good morning (Y/n),” Hange grins, 

“Hange!” you grin right back, laughing slightly at the surprise, “Good morning!”

“Here, I was only teasing,” they say handing you the item back, you take it happily, 

“Thanks, how are things?”

“Good! Real good! We're getting ready to go on another expedition, that’s actually why I'm here,” she presents a list out to you, you tilt your head curiously at the piece of paper. “Levi and I gotta pick up some essentials.”

Hange muses watching your eyes dilate just by the mention of the raven-haired man. 

“Oh… so you guys will be gone for a while?” you smile fakely at the news. You wanna be happy for them but you're still bummed that you won't be seeing Levi around for however long this expedition will be. 

Hange felt this is a conversation for you and Levi, it is best to skip over it. 

“You wanna help me find all this stuff? It will be fun to spend some time before I head out.”

You half smile as you nod, 

“Yeah, I'd love to.”

As you and Hange knock out their list, you can’t help but worry about your new friends.

“Hange…” you call them as you toss a pack of pads into the basket, they smile with a 

"Hm?"

“Are Titans…. Sorry, that was an inappropriate question,” you shake your head nervously, “forget I said anything, what's next on the list?”

Hange places a hand on your shoulder. You nearly dropped the bandages in your hand.

“(Y/n) we nearly cleared the whole island of Titans, but still… they are indeed dangerous and each day breeds uncertainty. But our team is filled with seasoned soldiers.”

“Oh…” you smile, not sure why your grip strengthened around the bandages, “that’s good…”

Hange can tell you're not set on it, you look up at them unable to contain your worry.

“I’m happy you’re concerned for us," their wide smile shifts their eyepatch up a bit. "when we return I'll be needing your services to cheer up my tired soldiers.”

“Come back safely and I'll do it on the house,”

“I’ll hold you to that.” they then take their list back from you and raise their eyebrows playfully. “I can take it from here, why don’t you help Levi, he’s most likely in the row with the cleaning supplies.”

You blushed slightly, 

“I’ll go then,” you say, picking your basket off the floor. 

You duck in and out of the isles looking for him, he’s short so you have to stare down the rows and check if he’s hidden behind someone, you stop when you find him, standing there holding two different brands of floor scrubbing brushes. He hasn't seen you yet, must be too focused to care about the people around him. You slowly walk over to him and lean in to say something you thought sounded coy.

“There's a sale on brooms,” you smirk as you speak over his shoulder.

Levi’s head turns to you, he didn’t look bored or annoyed, just his usual cold eyes. 

“Is there really a sale or is that your shitty attempt at a joke?”

“Saw right through me huh?” you laugh awkwardly, 

Levi crinkles his nose at you, you're acting off, Hange must have told you about the expedition, His suspicions were the least of his problems when his eyes meet the box resting at the top of your basket.

Condoms! You have a box of damn condoms, Levi screams in his head, are those for him? Were you thinking of sleeping with him before he leaves? Or have you found someone else? He hasn't seen you in a week; you may have grown fond of one of your disgusting clients. Murdering them is all Levi can think about now. 

Your eyes follow him to what's on the top of your basket and you laugh. 

"Relax, there not for me, my coworker is sixteen and has fallen for this shit stain of a man, young love" you sigh, "well she thinks it’s, love, the last thing she needs is to ruin her life before coming to her senses." 

Relief, Levi feels relieved by your answer, though it would have been better if it was for you and some other guy, oh and that thought of murder is back.

"Even if it was yours, I wouldn't care," Levi lies.

"Hm," you smirk, "Somehow I doubt that.'' your eyes go to the list in his hands, then the basket full of cleaning supplies. "Let me help you with your list, I helped Hange a moment ago, and they are practically done." 

"Thanks but, I got it covered," he said as if to give you the cold shoulder. Even for him, that seemed odd. 

Why is he acting so weird? You pondered, He gave you a ride to work last week, so what's the deal?

Levi thought he was acting normally, he wanted to seem like nothing was wrong, cuz nothing is wrong. He just wants to be done with his list and leave for the expedition without having some ridiculous 'warm and fuzzy' thoughts about his way back home. He might not even come home, he could easily die and that be it. He can't let you, Fogg, up to his mind while he's outside the walls with how you'd welcome him back by smiling your perfect smile and jumping into his arms. 

"I'd go with the brush in your right," you point out, trying to be helpful, it certainly brought him back to earth. "we use those at work, they get into the cracks of the floors. Even has a hole for you to screw in a broomstick."

Levi took a heavy inhale through his nose, then slowly let it out, closing his eyes. He wants to look angry, he wants to look impatient, he wants to look annoyed, but really he wants nothing more than to chat about cleaning supplies with you, no one ever wants to talk about cleaning with him. But no, he has to be annoyed.

You look away mortified, you're getting on his nerves, you could have sworn he loves cleaning, but he's legit in a mood you haven't seen before.

Levi took your advice and picked the brush in his right.

"Don't you have someone else to pester, why am I always seeing you in town? You stalking me?"

"Ha!" You blurt, "Actually, you saw me around town hundreds if not thousands of times, it's not till we were acquainted that you noticed me."

"Huh," Levi said shortly, your words intrigue him, you and Erwin would have got along well, "well don't let me keep you" he turns all his attention back on the shelf in front of him.

Your mouth gapes, he's pushing you out!!! Fucken rude!!! You scoff, he surely can't think the damn condoms are yours! 

“Levi, why are you acting like this?” you asked bluntly, “You’re pushing me away, is it cause of the expedition, I’m not sure if you noticed but I am wearing a nice dress and I’m talking about things we share an interest in, so what's the issue?”

Levi groans, 

“You really think that dress is pretty? Your titts are falling out”

“Levi!” you cross your arms getting upset.

Levi finally turns to you, eyes like daggers, you can see those demons again, the mood certainly changed, you’re biting your lip trying your best not to break contact.

“Whatever impression I may have given you in the past I apologize, I tried to be kind with you but it seems your shitty little brain can’t take the hint,” You're taken back by his hostile behavior. “I and listen close brat I’d hate to repeat myself, I am not interested so find another soldier to fill your time with” 

You stood there only for a moment, taking in all the shit garbage that he spat out of his mouth. 

“You're a dick,” you say bluntly, “I hope you wipe your ass with poison ivy and get eaten up by insects!” 

“You can see the toilet paper in my bag” Levi grumbles back and you just grab your basket and stomp away from him.

Hange caught up to you at the counter, they heard you yelling five Ailes over, you give them no time to speak.

“Whatever!” you pout now paying for your items, “he can enjoy the stick in his ass, I’m not one to beg.” 

“(Y/n) he didn’t mean it,” 

“I know,” you said wiping your eyes, they’re welling up and it’s just getting embarrassing, “He is just so exhausting, an ass hole of a man,” you nod to the cashier and hand them some money. You moved quickly just wanting to get out of the damn store.

Hange’s not sure what to say not wanting to get caught between two friends. You didn’t want that either, you take their hands and muster up a smile.

“Be safe out there. I consider you a great friend and I hope we can party hard once you get back home. Now please excuse me” you said it so fast you're not sure they understood you, their hair flew in your wind as you sprinted out of the store.

Hange watches you leave then catches the raven holding behind his paper bag, trying to sneak out without saying a word to them. They see him right away and caught up to him.

“Geeze Levi,” they sigh and he pretends to not be unphased.

“It got her off my back didn’t it?”

“Huh, didn’t realize that’s what you wanted”

Levi slumps his shoulders, 

“It’s not… that damn woman” he curses your name.

“I thought the dress looked nice, she has really nice, uh curves.” 

“Nice save,” Levi glares forward, 

“So what are you gonna do to fix it?”

“Gotta find her first,” he says scanning the merchant stands as they walk.

“Yes! I’ll help,”

“Hange,” Levi turns to them and they just look back with curious eyes. “You forgot the shit you paid for”

Hange gasps,

“Whoops! I leave you to it then!” They say waving Levi off as they power walk back to the general store.

…. Meanwhile

Basket in hand you stomp through town, you should have just stuck with Hange, tea with them would have been nice, but no you wanted to pass the invite to the little power complex, You scoff again.

"I'm still getting tea," you grumble, walking into a quaint cafe, you sit down, bag between your legs, even in this shitty mood you still manage to smile at the kind Waitress greeting you. 

"Hello, I'm Sara, I'll be your waitress, What can I getcha?" She asks holding a circular tray in hand. 

"Well I've been dying to try your lover’s tea,” you said with an excited smile, “heard it's filled with Aphrodisiacs,” Sara the waitress stiffened as your smile quickly turned into a sour glare into the void, “but now I’d like something cold and full of liquor."

"Oh… uh,” The waitress feels slight discomfort serving an agitated person hard liquor at 10:48 am, but she worries what will happen if she refuses you, “anything else?"

You sigh, you made the poor girl uneasy, the last thing you want is to shit on someone else's day.

“You know what,” you half-smile, “sorry, cancel that order, I’ll have chamomile tea, It’ll help me relax,” you smile eyeing the menu then close it handing it back to the young women, "and a muffin" you shrug and she nods, taking back the menu, 

"Sure, I'll get that in for you." The waitress smiles, then runs off to place your order and wait for other tables.

You lean over in your chair to pull a book out of your bag, open it up to the page you left off last and begin to read. Your tea and muffin are brought to you and you thank her politely. 

"It's hot," she warns, “Oh and here’s your muffin, I got you a fresh one, made it myself,”

You tilt your head up at her and smile.

"Sara you are a gem!" You proclaim, and she giggles with a slight blush. She likes your vibe a lot better than your initial meeting.

"It was no trouble, looks like you had a rough morning, let me know if you need anything else," she says walking off again. 

You held a hand to your heart, how sweet of her to notice your struggles, though you're almost sure by the way everyone looked at you when you walked in that you put on quite a show. Whoops.

You pick up the cup and blow over the steam a couple of times before taking your first sip. It’s good, warm and kind, everything Levi is not, You relax, even more, going back to your book.

For a while you're calm and enjoying your day, the tea is working, you can’t help but hear another customer at a table behind yours. 

"Oh, no, I'm gonna stay here a little while longer, have a nice day though." The Young woman behind you says to a man who rudely popped by her table while she was eating. 

"Oh come on,” the man grins, “I said I'd pay for your meal, the least you could do is accompany me on a walk."

It was hard not to be nosy with the way this ass hole was speaking to this woman. 

"I can pay for my own meal, but thanks for the offer" the young woman kindly declines but it seems the guy can't take no for an answer.

"Playing hard to get? That's cute, but we both know you're gonna happily get up and come with me."

You heard enough, you wrap your arm around your chair to turn your head to see this creep. 

"Hey, she didn't change her mind the first seven times you asked her, what makes you think the eighth time will bring upon some changes?"

The young woman turned to you unsure what to say. The guy with his slicked-back hair and partially buttoned-up shirt had plenty.

"Hey, this doesn't concern you, stay out of other people's business"

"I could say the same to you numbnuts," you spoke calmly, almost bored like, "let the women enjoy her food in peace."

The young woman felt goosebumps listening to the way you spoke to the man, it gave her the courage to say something too. 

"Yeah… uh, please leave me be!" The Young women smile to herself, you pat her on the back, 

"Hell yeah!" You give her a high five and she eagerly takes it. 

The greased up man didn't like this at all, he felt as if you made him feel small and stupid, which angers him. Once you turn back in your seat and reopen your book, his hand is already gripping you by the shoulder.

You close your book and make moves to take this guy straight to the floorboards but you're too slow, a swift kick that wasn't yours met the stomach of the man and he folds like an omelet and falls to the floor. Levi gave him no time to get up, the raven stomped his heel violently into the man's face, Levi holding his paper bag with his hands, barely broke a sweat, a second later you can hear snoring. 

Both you and the young women got out of your seats, watching Levi nudge him with his shoe. 

"Hey, wake up, I wasn't done," he says disappointed when he gets no response. Sara the waitress runs over to check out the commotion, quickly you conjure up a lie to cover for Levi.

"Looks like a drunkard stumbled into the bar," you say nudging the girl next to you. 

"Uh! Yeah, he only got two steps in before tumbling over," the women lied along with you.

The barkeep sighs, 

"We got another one!" She calls out to some coworkers to drag the man out and onto the lawn. 

The young girl frowns in your direction. 

"I'm so sorry Ms. If that man never came to your rescue that guy may have struck you something fierce…"

You laugh,

"Are you kidding?!" You say hand in your hair eyes wide, "I could have taken him, but damn, I've been dying to see Levi knock a guy out!" You held your face warm and flushed. "My ovaries are on fire! My basements flooded! I’m tempted to rip off my bra and throw it at him" you giggle, feeling awfully thirty.

The women watched you obese over the short raven, she gave you an awkward smile. 

"Wipe the drool off your face pervert" Levi glares stepping over the guy to get to you. "You just had to stick your nose where it doesn't belong."

"I would have stopped him," you say playfully,

"Tch, maybe I should of just let him strike you then"

“I doubt you would be able to let that happen,” you flirt.

“Get out of my head Wretechen women,” Levi sneers,

“Ha! Told you I’m right!” you say fixing his jacket, he lets you, “I’m sitting over here if you’re ready to apologize to me”

Levi drops his paper bag on your table.

“Scuffing my boots against the teeth of that sick fuck was my apology.”

“Oh! Well, apologies accepted!” you chime grinning away.

"Uh," the young woman sweats watching you two openly flirt? Bicker? "Well thanks again to the both of you," she then smiles awkwardly.

"No sweat!” you wave a hand dismissively, “But next time be more assertive so they know from the beginning and it doesn't drag on like that."

"Right," she nods and waves goodbye as she walks out of the cafe. 

You turn your attention to Levi.

"Levi," you place your hands on your hips, "were you following me?"

"Tch," the raven sits at your table and you sit back down as well. Moving his bag to the side so you two can see each other.

The waitress comes back around with a menu and another cup of tea on her tray.

“Here, for your friend,” she says, handing Levi the menu, he places a hand up to politely refuse the menu.

“Black tea please,” 

“You got it,” Sara grins then removes a teacup off her tray and places it in front of you. 

“I know you said you wanted to try it before, here, on the house, so sorry about that drunk guy, he just passed out right in front of your table.”

“Oh, my golly Sara! Don’t worry about it,” you beam up at her and she beams right back, you try the tea in front of her and take a dramatic sigh “I feel so cozy and kinda excited,” you two fall into a little laughing fit.

“Well, it is filled with Aphrodisiacs, the Damiana gives you serotonin and dopamine, the ginger warms and opens your heart, It’s a big seller among couples” 

“Oh, I don’t doubt that!” you giggle and she does too, she then places a flirtatious hand on your arm. 

“Would you like me to write down the ingredients? That way you can make it at home?”

You give her half-lidded eyes and smirk.

“If you do that I wouldn’t have an excuse to come see you.” that little statement had her blushing.

Levi just eyes you two with irritated eyes.

Maybe he should try and convince you to go out with that waitress? That could be a nice life for you, her job is simple and grounded, Levi then imagines your life with this woman, growing old and happy, adopting a brat from the orphanage, probably be Ryan, Ryan would hate it at first but learn to love this waitress like a parent.

As you laugh away with Sara you feel a very eerie aura coming from the person sitting across from you, Levi is glaring at her, it was unsettling, perhaps you may have done something wrong. 

“Uh, thanks again Sara,” you say cutting off the connection you two were developing, 

“Oh, heh, yes, just let me know if you need anything,” she says walking off.

Levi’s eyes followed her even when she was out of view he looked for her, you give him a little nudge with your foot, a sensual rub into his ankle. He finally comes back to you.

“Sorry, I didn’t realize what that may have looked like for you,” you said now keeping your right foot against his. Hoping the slight touch would ground him.

“Not sure what you mean by that,” Levi says, turning his head slightly left, little red brushing against his cheeks.

She came back and was hesitant to approach the man, she must have felt the aura too. 

“Thank you” Levi spoke to her calmly, and she sits his cup of tea in front of him then bolts off.

You sigh, 

“Poor girl,” but you still managed a smile, “Looks like your a jealous type,”

“Tch, Like I said not sure what you’re talking about.”

He then read the title of the book on the table next to you,

"You were reading that the other night," he changes the subject.

"The body keeps the score," you read the title aloud, "I enjoy books like these, they explain trauma and pain brought on by past experiences, something I'm sure everyone within these walls can relate to."

"Sounds depressing."

You just give the man a blank stare before saying.

"Why were you so rude to me at the store?"

Levi’s body stiffens, he knows what he said was wrong but he felt it necessary, at least at the time he did...

"I'm always rude"

"Levi…" you spoke his name like it was exhausting you.

Levi remains indifferent, picking up his tea taking a long sip. 

“Ok, new subject” you pout, thinking of something else to talk about. "So, you're going to be gone a while…."

"Stop pursuing me," he vocalized, without looking at you, hiding his mouth behind his teacup, "It's a waste of time, I have nothing to give you."

You covered your mouth with shock and Levi felt as if he was going to be sick. He placed the cup down and stared at the liquid inside it. Nervously he awaits your next word, he only hopes you won't cry. 

"You like me!" you say uncovering then covering your mouth with your hands.

"What?” Levi’s face twists, with shock, “Where the hell did you-?"

"It makes sense,” you talk over him, fingertips pressed against your chin as you thought aloud, “I kinda figured you were pushing me away because of your feelings for me, I just couldn't pinpoint why? You worried I'd reject you?"

Levi turned silent, he crossed his arms feeling insulted.

"No," he grumbles, “Every time I see you, you undress me with your eyes.”

"Hm? That’s true,” you agreed, shamelessly, “Then what's wrong? I know you have feelings for me, I was being so nice to you in the store,” you start to pout, remembering how cruel he was, “do you not want to be seen in public with me?" you insecurely tie the strings of your dress to cover your cleavage. You then held your hands in your lap, embarrassed, “I've been told I can be a little, out there…”

It pained Levi to see how much his actions from the shop upset you. He uncrosses his arms and softens his face, he leans back in his chair to peek at your feet under the table. Levi then rubs sensual circles against your ankle with the side of his boot, glancing back at you for a reaction. His heart ticked when you finally looked back at him again. Your eyes looked troubled and sheepish but you didn’t shy away from his affections.

“I can assure you it’s not that,” Levi testified, moving his boot back, “though you at times can be a little over-excited, to me that’s a good thing.”

You only half-smiled, it was good to know you're not bothersome but then what is the problem?

“Levi, help me understand,”

The raven nods as he takes a long breath.

"Have you ever lost someone?" 

Your heart dropped at the question, 

"Yes…"

Levi swallowed thickly,

"I see loved ones of soldiers saying their goodbyes with solemn smiles and long tedious embraces.” The raven’s eyes showed his pain, it hurt for him to talk about this but he needs you to understand his feelings. “I then have to see them sob and panic when the soldiers don’t return, sometimes I catch the tears and wails when they are informed of their lover’s passing. Many times I myself am the one to enter their homes and give them what little possessions we have from their sons, daughters, wives… husbands..."

You listen to Levi with sympathy, you can’t imagine how hard of a life it is to be a soldier. 

Your eyes gloss over, “You think you're gonna die out there?" You questioned, pulling back emotions.

"Not really,” he shakes his head, “I am extremely strong and confident in my abilities, but there could be a day, a day where I do manage to get wiped out. I don't wish to burden you with my passing…" the man admits.

"Levi…” 

“This is an enemy I never faced before.” he spoke quietly, bowing his head, “I don't know what to expect…” 

There was silence for a while then Levi heard a small shudder, upon lifting his chin his eyes widened, from the fear and despair on your face. You must be imagining it, getting news of his passing, how hard it be to move on, to wake up the next day, you get it now right? He would only bring you misery, You get it now and he can go back to being alone. He clears his throat and you finally blink and look down to flatten out a wrinkle in your dress.

"Pick someone else," Levi said, leaving his chair.

"Levi stop!” you pleaded, extending a handout, “Look, I… haven't dated in a long time, my last relationship was three years ago It was horrible and traumatic,” you frowned, rubbing your shoulder, Levi remained standing, hearing what you have to say. “I swore off relationships altogether, men are monsters and I'd always be a victim, but then I met you and.. And well…” you swallow down your fear of being vulnerable, and just say it, “it's my choice who I get to spend my time with, rather you like it or not I enjoy my time with you, short or long I’d be happy just to be near you, your not like them your not like anyone I have ever met, even if you were to pass now or years later, I would never regret being with you”

Levi is speechless, he felt a sudden breeze that came with your last sentence, his hair stood on ends and his body felt cold with shivers. He only felt a feeling like this once, with Erwin, the day he agreed to follow him, Erwin’s words inspired him, thrilled him, gave him a reason to live a reason to fight, your words, though they were not as powerful as Erwins, they did bring back that feeling from deep within him and that, he cannot ignore.

"So there’s nothing I can say to stop you?" Levi sighs.

"Not really, I mean unless you don’t feel the same.."

Levi took a moment before sitting back in his chair, he picks up his tea, you gaze at him and he gazes back.

“Do you want me to leave you alone?” you ask, with big nervous eyes, you feel raw after opening up to the raven.

Levi crosses his legs and sat up straight, eyeing your sad expression, now it just seems hopeless, he can’t stop the cogs from turning, maybe he can be selfish, you're young, you could easily change your mind within the month of his expedition.

“No, I don’t want you to leave me alone…” Levi admits before taking a sip, “I’ll be gone for thirty to thirty-one days, depends really.”

“Oh!” you open a smile, he finally answered your question, “that’s not bad! I’m gonna be super busy anyway! Lots of balls and Galla’s coming up.”

Levi tilts his head, not sure he could see you in such away. He narrows his eyes to the right, his date idea would probably bore you, especially if you're gonna be in Scina the whole time he’s gone.

“You get invited to those?” Levi pries.

“Invited?” you laugh, “I entertain, sing and shit,” you sat with your legs spread and your arm behind your chair, you got real smug, real quick, “I'll be living in a hotel with two other girls, i'm pretty excited about it actually,” you then smile with some disappointment, “too bad you won't be around, I was kinda hoping I could have invited you to one, you and Hange.” 

“Hange would have loved that,” Levi smiled softly, “Though they would just be hounding the big wigs for donations to help fund their experiments, Thanks for thinking of us.”

“I tend to do that a lot more these days,” you say with a smile that strikes Levi. He has to look away.

“You too huh?”

“Levi,” you eye him pleasantly, resting your cheek in your hand, elbow propped on the table. 

“Got something to say?” He crinkles his nose,

“Your really cute” you grin,

Levi pouts, he has no idea how to take your complements, he knows he’s blushing, suppose it’s now or never. 

“When I return I'd like to take you out for an evening,” Levi said bluntly,

You tighten your lips as you smile, eyes excited as you breathe in through your nose deeply, forcing yourself to remain calm, a little squeal escapes from your nose. You then giggled nervously, “Cool, cool, cool” you tap your foot in hopes to release your jitters. It’s happening! 

Levi found your reaction amusing. He hasn't seen you like this since he taught you defensive moves at the orphanage. He enjoys making you genuinely happy.

“I take it, that's a yes?” He raises a brow.

“When?” you questioned with big doe eyes.

“Right when I get back, not sure what day but the town bell will ring the moment we walk through the gates, if you're working that day, don't worry about it,” Levi slumps.

“I'll be back in town on the 29th even if I have a client I'll easily cancel on them.” 

“That easy huh?” Levi couldn’t help the smirk from forming on his face, “Wouldn't that piss them off?” 

“Oh yeah, but that won't stop them from coming back. Right, when I hear the bells I'll be there to greet you back home! Promise!” 

“That’s not necessary, I’ll come to you,” he said, not wanting you to wait for him, especially if he doesn't make it back. 

“I’ll be there! And so will you!” you said confidently. 

Levi chuckled a bit, it caught you by surprise.

“You're a confident one.”

“Heh, yeah… suppose I am,” you wink and he rolls his eyes.

“Ok, I gotta go prepare for tomorrow, we’re leaving at 0700 which means you need to be there by 0630”

“Oh god, so early….” you complain getting out of your chair, Levi then places a hand on your head.

“You're gonna have to get used to that if you wanna see me off in the future,” Levi wants to come off more affectionate but he just sounds like he’s scolding you.

You remove his hand and hold it at your side, to keep him captive for a moment longer.

“We gotta work on the way you show me affection,” you quip.

“We do? You don't like when I do this?” he teases, placing his other hand on your head, you swat that one right away.

“I’m not a child Levi,” you pout, 

“Well, what's the right way to show you affection? And please tell me it doesn’t involve your hand up my-” you cover his mouth immediately.

“I don’t know,” you blush, “Just like... kiss me?” you said glad you could stop him from saying any more.

Now it’s Levi’s turn to remove your hand,

“Fine, but don’t stick your tongue down my throat in public.”

“Wha?! Your the one openly talking about my hand in your-”

“Ok, Ok you made your point,” Levi cuts you off, “let's get this done so I can get out of here,” he retorts, hiding how nervous he is to kiss you again. This time in public!

“Woah, your hand just got real sweaty,” you chuckle.

“Shut up,” he glares before leaning in. 

Levi wants to be the first to initiate the kiss, he’s sure that’s what you want to since you're kinda just standing there holding his hand. He leans in with a tilt to the right, you tilt to the left and as soon as the kiss started it ended, a quick peck was all he was looking for. You seemed fine with that too since you released your death grip on him. 

“I'll see you tomorrow,” you beam, “and don’t worry I won’t kiss you in front of your comrades, gotta keep that cold callus reputation of yours,” you mock.

“Don’t oversleep,” was all he said before grabbing his paper bag off the table and walking out of the cafe.  
…

Morning 06:45 am

Levi is on his horse, surrounded by his comrades, behind him is Hange, Yeager and his friends to his left, Flock on his right, Levi can feel the ginger boring his hatred into him, the kid can hold a grudge Levi gives him that, but it’ll take more than a glare to get under his skin.

The unit is slowly assembling, hopping on their horses, awaiting the gate to open so they can ride through it and make the journey outside the walls. They have ten minutes left till loved ones have to clear the area. He eyes his comrades as they embrace their families and friends before getting on their horses. 

Levi hasn’t spotted you yet, did you get cold feet?

“Hey!” a voice shouts to him from below, he looks down to see you bent over and out of breath. “I almost missed you!” you breathe holding tightly to the strap of your bag.

“I gave you the time, what? Did your morning shit take priority?” Levi looked down at you a little disappointed but still very happy you showed up.

You grimace up at the man,

“Ew what?” you nearly gag, “Who says that?!” 

“Nevermind that, what took you so long?” Levi questions.

“Sorry!” You apologize with a wheeze, “I was halfway here when I forgot your gift! I had to run back to grab it!” you stood up straight and handed him a tin canister. 

Levi’s eyes narrowed with curiosity, he took the canister from your shaky hand, unscrewed it, and smelled what's inside. An earthy brisk smell with cinnamon a hint of cloves?

“Oh,” He was pleasantly surprised by what was inside, he screwed the top back on and held it in his hand firmly. “you got me tea leaves.” 

“I made it myself!” you announced proudly, “I added cinnamon sticks and cloves, super beneficial to your health! Good for your heart! And the digestive system, you know since you're so concerned with shit” you giggle.

“You made this for me?” Levi asked, still surprised by how nice the aroma was.

“Duh,” you gush, “something for you to remember me by while you're out there.”

“Thank you,” he smiled softly, terrifying his comrades around him, he ignored them and leaned himself down enough to place a hand on top of your head, he stopped himself and went for caressing your right cheek. You closed your eyes embracing his loving gesture. Your eyes reopen once he pulls away and sits up straight on his horse. You roll your eyes when he goes back to scolding you. “Don’t get into any trouble while I’m gone, don’t look for it either, understood?”

“Uh, we're gonna work on your goodbyes Levi,” you say raising a brow, “They need work.”

Levi groans, overhearing the gasps and whispers of his comrades, he looks back down at you and says.

“Get out of here, before you get trampled. I'll see you soon”

You scoff and curtsey him as a joke then you runoff, but not before giving Hange the sweets you made them.

Hange trots her horse next to Levi's, looks over to him, and grins.

“Only you would include talking about taking a dump in a heartwarming send-off, not sure what she sees in you, but she nearly died laughing telling me about it” Hange holds onto their gut as they chuckle.

“Can it cyclops,” Levi scowls, irritated, concealing slight embarrassment to the fact he has no game.

“Can we share her?” Hange simps.

Levi doesn’t even entertain them with a reaction.

Finally, the gates open and the Expedition starts.

…. Out in the forest, halfway through the expedition. 

“Good work today,” Levi complements his underlings, “now shut up and go to bed, the first lookout is Armin and I, then will be relieved by Yeager and Kirstein, then it will be Mikasa and Floch"

"But Captain," Connie spoke out, "we eliminated all the Titans in the area, we should be safe"

"Springer, Titans aren’t our only enemies, congratulations, you just granted yourself third lookout, don't ever question my word."

Connie frowns, 

"Yes, Captain."

Levi took his shift then woke up Yeager to relieve him, after all, that he got in his small tent around two am, leaving him with nothing but his thoughts. 

Levi’s view of the stars is blocked by the thin tan fabric of his tent. He's not going to sleep, he never does, not till at least four am. Levi turns to lay on his side, his gaze catches the tin canister of tea leaves you made for him, poking out of his pack. He's been using them sparingly, wanting to spread them through the entire deployment. He sighs, suppose now is a safe time to let you invade his mind. 

By this time of night you're most likely sleeping unless you had a gig, then you're more than likely just getting into your hotel room. He hopes the women you're bunking with are trustworthy, he’d hate to come home to you crying about how someone stole from you. He wonders what your dresses looked like, what songs you sang, how your voice sounded. Do you have a knife? That should be the first thing Levi gets you when he arrives home. You could hide it in your boot. Levi runs a hand in his hair, the cold chill of the night reminded him that all he has for warmth is a thin blanket. Bet the hotel bedding is nice. Levi lays on his back now thinking of you stumbling into bed, pulling your clothes off, and plopping them on the floor.

Levi's face softens thinking of you under the covers. Your pretty eyes drooping with sleep, he would like to see you this way outside his imagination. You sleeping next to him sounds so relaxing and warm. You curled up into him, resting your head on his chest. He'd watch your body rise and fall with tranquil breaths. 

The raven imagines your nose wrinkling and your eyes opening up to scold him for staring. He would retort with something witty that has you scoffing at him. Maybe the playful mood would end with you kissing him. Levi liked that thought, your arms wrapped around him, his hands gripping you at the waist pulling you close as possible. You slip your tongue in his mouth and deepen the kiss. Levi thought so boldly that perhaps he'd make the move to be on top of you. 

This time around you'd be the one blushing up at him, saying something like.

"Oh, Levi, you make me so happy, also I quit my shit degrading job for a safer nine to five where there's no way in hell I'd be pawed at."

And Levi would say,

"I'm the only man allowed to touch you." 

Levi's brow furrows, would you find that controlling or sexy?? He pushes the thought aside and keeps along with his little story.

"Oh Levi kiss me everywhere, your lips feel so good on my supple smooth skin." 

He would then lean down into you and kiss your neck, your cheek, your collar bone, he'd make his way down your perfect body till you're begging for more. Levi lets out a small pant. Thinking of you this way excited him. So much that he's rock hard.

The raven swings his legs onto the floor, sitting up on the edge of the cot. He eyes the dent in his white pants with displeasure. He groans, this is a problem. He'll ignore it till it goes away. But it seems his temptations have other plans. 

He imagines you, now on your knees between his legs. Your hands pressing against his inner thighs. You're giving him that no good horny smile you sinfully wear around him. 

"You look lonely Levi," you say with dewy eyes, "let me keep you company for the rest of your miserable life." 

Levi rubs the back of his neck, letting the cold of his fingers center him, but the heat of his sexual desire is taking its hold on him. He blows out his lantern, extinguishing his shadow and playing it off like he was going to sleep. He remained sitting on the edge of his bed, what he would normally hear at this hour is the noise pollution that is Eren and Jean bickering with each other. He always placed them on watch together, it helps keep them awake.

But what shocks him was how easy the thought of your degenerate voice and evasive touching had canceled the annoying brats out. It was like you're in the room with him, tempting him to unbuckle himself and pull out his member. 

Levi swallows thickly, it felt like his mouth was full of saliva. He can't hold back any longer, his dick is starting to hurt, confined in his tight pants. The raven pulls his pants and boxer briefs down, freeing his erection from its prison. His heart pounding in his ears, he's never needed to do something like this during a mission. What have you done to him? He can't stop himself from reaching down and grabbing at himself, holding it loosely in his grip. 

He falls back into the fantasy with you being the one stroking him. He closes his eyes and starts slow, rubbing in the precum around the tip of his cock to get a more slick movement. His body starts to tingle and heat up, with each stroke he released a strangled huff. 

He liked the idea of you touching him and teasing his ear, that thing you did with your tongue was disgusting but Levi can't stop fantasizing about it. You make him feel filthy in the best way possible. His breath hitches at the thought of you kissing his neck, kissing his mouth, He can clearly remember the way you taste, your soft satisfying lips, your exploring tongue. He strokes himself a little faster, thinking about your lips had him fully entranced in the fantasy of you ripping open his shirt and kissing down his body.

You'd praise him for his well-disciplined physique, as you've done in the past. Usually, Levi didn't care for praise, it all sounded patronizing. Like he didn't do enough, he accepted Hange's praise and even enjoyed Erwin's but even so he never was given praise the way you do.

"Levi…. Your cock feels so big in my hand, wanna hear me gag on it? I bet you'd find it flattering, how I'd choose you over oxygen."

Levi's lips curl to a small gaped smile, hot air tumbles out. That sounds exactly like you. Mannerisms and all. You live to tease him till he's a sweaty disgusting mess of a man. 

He is now stuck wondering what it would look like, your lips around his cock, what does it sound like? Suppose it sounds like being strangled, but less violent and more controlled. Though he's never done it and never seen it done he has curiously seen provocative illustrations from a dirty magazine. Women engaging in sexual acts, he gets the concept, he's not clueless to the whole thing. He can imagine you lying beneath him. Your legs spread apart, your fists knotting into the blankets, as he shoves himself into your-. 

“Mmnn-ah..." Levi stops, frozen in the darkness. Paranoia nests in his brain as he sat there in darkened silence, listening for any indication that he was caught. All he heard was crickets and other bugs and animals native to the forest. To his relief, he caught a sliver of Jean and Eren fighting about Mikasa. It wasn't till he exhaled did he realize he was holding his breath. 

Levi slumps into himself defeated. He's too loud to keep going, how pathetic, he knows these Brats surrounding him probably yank at themselves every night, yet he never hears a thing. What is it about sexual acts that make him so damn vocal?!

He might as well give up and go to bed. Wound up Levi puts clothes back on and lays down on his cot, disciplining himself by keeping his eyes closed shut and laying on his stomach. He has no pillow, just his scout’s jacket, folded up in such a way to keep his head from touching the cold metal beam that aligned the cot. This wasn't ideal, no way in hell could he sleep this way. Levi groans bringing his knees into himself, lifting his ass into the air. He turns his head to the side displeased, his erection hasn't gone down.

He lifts his head and sits upon his knees, looking down at his disobedient bulge. 

"Levi…" fantasy you called to him from the depths of his mind. 

You now lay beneath him, his body between your legs, your in black lingerie. Something he must have seen on a manikin in a store near scina. Your eyes glow in the night, luring him into your trap. 

He can imagine himself fighting you off. Telling you he wouldn't be able to keep quiet. You'd most likely purr upon hearing it. Considering his predicament, some kinda embarrassing foreplay. 

Frustrated, Levi clenches his jaw, these overwhelming thoughts are only making it harder for him.

He has to get this over with, he examines his pitch-black room, scanning the spots where his items should be. He has nothing that would be sufficient in muffling his pathetic lust howls. Levi rubs his face feeling a headache coming on, all the overthinking is about to fuck up his entire night. At that moment an idea flashed before him when his arm brushed against his cravat. 

He feels the white slight ruffled fabric in his fingers, this could work, if he balled the end up and shoved it in his mouth he could muffle out his moans. But the problem with this is the fact Levi hasn't washed it all day, sure he hasn't come in contact with a titan the entire expedition and all he did today was ride his horse around. His cravat had gathered all the sweat and filth of his day, and it's far too late in the night to clean it. The thought of shoving this thing into his mouth had the raven clenching it in his hand, shivering with disgust. 

"Levi…" 

There you are again invading his psyche, a voice whispering seductively in his ear. 

"I'm waiting for you to come home and share my bed."

Levi sucks in air through his teeth, he's aching, he has no choice but to give in. He takes the end of his cravat in his hand, rolls it enough to create a gag, and hesitantly opens his mouth, with a shaky hand he places it in. 

Immediately his tongue is attacked by salt from his sweat, Levi's eyes clamp shut as he gags quietly, it's disgusting! His body wants to reject it but he ignores his reflex and unzips his fly again. 

Levi strokes his cock, visualizing himself in your bed, making love to you. It's not a well-detailed picture. Levi is a virgin so his idea of sex is embarrassing, to say the least. But still, if he'd get the chance to carve himself into your walls he'd be sure to make more of a dent than any other man who you've dealt with in the past. 

Levi would be a valuable lover, he'd give you passion, desire, he'd set your body ablaze just like you do to him. 

He may be inexperienced but he's still an Akerman his stamina and determination will leave you moaning and calling his name out like it's something holy. 

Levi draws out small moans into his cravat, stroking himself quicker. Thinking of you this way is working. He imagines your cries, your beautiful heavy pants, your face twisting with pleasure, your skin flushed, glistening, he imagines gripping tightly to your outer thighs. Ramming himself into you hungrily. This time you will be the mess and he'd be the one to tease you. Your eyes will roll back and your back will arch. 

Levi bends over, planting a hand on the cot, he leans his weight into it, giving himself more power to tug.

Suddenly another voice comes into mind, one he hasn't thought about in a while. 

"Captain," Levi's body stiffens, how could he possibly be thinking of him right now?!

He can't stop the memories from pouring in, his fantasy is morphing.

Levi imagines Erwin's strong arm wrapped around his chest. The thought alone had him quickly sitting up straight. Levi’s nipples hardened, threatening to poke through his uniform. 

"I strongly insist you Share the night with me, Captain," Erwin's stern voice throttles Levi to the core. He can’t stop his imagination from running wild. Erwin taking Levi’s small hand into his giant grip moving it behind the raven’s back and onto his own erection. Levi whimpers, feeling the weight of his sexual desires, suddenly his body is too numb to sit up, his face crashes into the cot, he pushes his jacket to the floor and muffles heavy labored breaths into his gag. It almost felt like he dove down to get away from such lewd unprofessional thoughts. 

Levi bites down on his cravat, this can not go on, He has to think of something else, he falls back into the mindset of intimacy with you. 

Your hands cupping his face, your lips, swollen from kissing him as he fucks into you. Your eyes hazy and half-lidded but never left his gaze, not till now, your eyes left him to see something looming over his back. 

"Oh, you're quite a beautiful young woman," Imaginary Erwin compliments Imaginary you. "Will we all be enjoying each other this evening?"

You blush and giggle under Levi, truly this is no longer a fantasy, it’s a nightmare.

"Oh, I don't mind sharing Levi with such an attractive bull, like yourself."

Levi then lets go of himself to cover his eyes.

No! Nope! He screams in his head, You'd fall in love with Erwin if he'd agree to a threesome! Levi then smacks himself in the forehead. He can't get cucked by Erwin! He's fucken dead! Levi groans into his Clavat, masturbating is hard. No wonder he barely does it. 

Levi has to discard his thoughts of Erwin and focus back on you. He has to let the blond go and let himself be happy again… 

Focus on you...

On your breaths, your praises.

It's kinda Symbolic in a way, saying goodbye to past loves and moving on to new ones. Is that how he saw Erwin? I mean he has thought of the man while touching himself once before and he immediately found it to be wrong. Was that because he wanted to cherish their standing or did he feel Erwin didn't share the same feelings? Suppose now he will never know but. He does know how you feel. He could taste your affections for him in the tea. He could see it by your smile, your laugh, how you straighten out his jacket. Your feelings are known, you told him yourself before he left at that cafe. This is actually something Levi can grasp, can hold onto.

“Levi…” He can hear you and only you. “It’s ok,” you run your hands in his hair, down to his cheeks, cupping them affectionately. “let’s keep going.”

Levi reaches for himself yet again. This time he felt more at peace with himself, his mind allowed him to focus on you. On your hands on his body, your lips on his, how your moan as he thrusts into you.

“Your cock feels so fucken good!” fantasy you whine, “I can’t think straight.”

Levi likes the idea of you losing your mind the closer you get to achieving an orgasm, speaking of climax, Levi finally feels the numb tingling sensation throbbing his cock. The man rasps hard, heavy moans into his cravat, his eyes find the sky, and his body jerks with his release, he cums thick ropes onto the surface of his cot. In hindsight that was pretty fucking stupid, but in the state Levi’s in, with his labored breathing and droopy eyes he’s barely able to tug his cravat off his neck, he regrettably used it as a rag to clean up his mess, he then tosses it into the darkness of his tent. 

Out of breath, he slowly rolls to his back, wiping beads of sweat off his forehead. Riding out his orgasm his eyes droop sweeping slowly across his lids, the sounds around him become quiet, he peacefully drifts off to the thought of sleeping next to you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oof, Erwin making a surprise debut! I wasn't sure what to have the imaginary reader call him, I went with bull cuz he's a big juicy yummy man, but maybe I could of went with tree since he's such a tall guy. I hope yall liked this chapter!


	5. Wrong Place Wrong Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Reader accidentally hears something she shouldn't have from some thugs in an alleyway, she's caught and finds herself in danger.
> 
> Warnings!! Violence, NonCon touching, NOn-Con situations, cursing, blood.

You're all packed up and ready to head home, you made a killing your entire month in Scina, you wish you could entertain full time but unfortunately, there's just not enough demand to make a steady income. Not the way you spend the money anyway. The girls you bunked with weren't easy to get along with but you made it work by staying on their good sides, even went out to some bars together. Hammered or sober your nights always ended the same, with you in your comfy hotel bed thinking about Levi. Thought of how your date will go, where he’s gonna take you, and what he’s gonna wear, something striking for sure, the outfit he wore the night of your last session was your favorite so far. You can only imagine the swoon you will feel when he actually tries. Filling your carriage with bags and souvenirs you feel you may have overdone it, there's barely any room left for you, one foot on the step you stop yourself from getting in. 

“OH! I almost forgot!” you say aloud, you call up to your horsemen steering the carriage, “I’ll be right back!” the man holding onto the reins nodded and you ran into the shop. You race up to the front to speak to the shopkeeper. 

He eyes you with a smirk and a scoff.

“Ah, (Y/n) what are you doing here? Shouldn't you be leaving?”

“Larry! My man!” you rejoiced with great enthusiasm, “You know I couldn't leave without saying goodbye!”

“Ha, or is it cuz of a certain recent shipment?” he eyes you coyly, and you just smile wide.

“Did it finally come in!? I extended my stay an extra night just in the hope it would come in!”

Shopkeeper Larry stood there a moment longer to keep you in suspense before leaving for the backroom, he walked back holding a medium-sized crate. You squeal jumping up and down.

“That’s it isn't it!?” you cheer.

“I've never seen such a young woman get so excited over tea.” Larry the shopkeeper chuckles, plopping the crate on the counter.

“Come on Larry, this is the most extravagant tea leaves out there, even rare to wall Scina!” you take a breath as he crowbars the crate open to show you a tin of the stuff. The tin shined a sparkly gold and red, the pretty colors mesmerized you.

“Are you a big tea drinker?” Larry asks and you shake your head.

“No but the guy I’m seeing is obsessed with it,” you answer eyeing the tin, “how much?”

“It’s pricey, one tin is 25.”

“Woah!” you said aloud, that’s a lot just for a tin, you wanted to buy the whole case, but that price is nuts…. “I'll take five tins,” you say with a confident smile.

“Who is this guy anyway?” Larry questioned, gently bagging the tins for you, “Usually men are the ones spending so carelessly.”

“Oh, he’s something! Not sure if you heard of him,” you say nonchalantly, “his name is Levi.”

The shopkeeper stops what he’s doing to wild eye you, he then laughs right in your face.

“Ok, don’t tell me who he is,” he says, working the register.

You scoff,

“Larry you wound me!” you frown fakely, hand on your heart. “I’m not lying, The Captain of the scouts, Captain Levi and I are a thing,” you assure him, “we have a date coming up when he gets back home.”

“You seem like a really sweet kid,” Larry laughs as you hand him your cash. “But I just don’t believe you, I can’t see a guy like   
Captain Levi being swoon by someone like you.”

You pout feeling rather insulted. 

“You wanna bet?” you narrow your eyes, chin up, “I'll bring Levi in and have him tell you himself!” 

Larry the shopkeeper crossed his arms thoughtfully, 

“What’s the bet?” he inquires.

“If I win then I get a whole case of this stuff free!” you smile smugly, patting the open crate.

“And If I win?”

“I'll buy a whole case!” 

Larry chuckled as he extended his hand for you to shake. 

“You got yourself a deal Missy, next time you step foot in here, you better have the cash!”

“You better have a whole crate!” you raise a brow with a grin as you shake his hand.

Back Home

You returned to your home town four days ago, just plopped your bags and gifts by the front door, and left them there. You thought by now Levi and the scouts would be back, he said thirty to thirty-one days and now it's been thirty-two days. You feel silly having thoughts of concern for your new friends. Surely they are fine and you're just overthinking things. Even so, you can no longer stay home, you have to get back to work or you will lose your clients to some new looser dominatrix. If the scouts get back today you will call for a break, greet Levi then finish up the day before your date, you know you told him you just dropped the day but you spent more than you should have in the Stohess District.

Your first day back on the job is going smoothly, between clients you would run to the backdoor and peek through the alley to see if the scouts are trotting in. It’s hard to hear the bell this far into town, so you have to constantly check to see if the scouts have arrived. Nothing so far, but you have a feeling in your gut that today is the day.

Your clients today or any day really are easy and somewhat boring to crack. Usually, you make them cry but the fun you used to have has lost its luster. Lately, you've been wondering why you're holding a whip and not a pen. A while back you wanted to help people, meeting Levi reminded you of that passion. You should find a job more honest and less dangerous, you would love to put your master's degree to good use, but that could never happen, your past won't allow it, you kinda feel bad lying to Hange about not finishing, you felt a lie was better than the truth. You sigh as you pour water into a dog dish, not even looking as your client drinks from it. You can't change the past. The underground ruined any chance you had of an honest life.

“Come on Master,” a familiar voice from below you speaks, “strike me down!” 

That voice… your eyes dart down fast, you could have sworn the man you have on all fours bound by a leash, drinking water out of a dog dish was Levi. His hair in his face as he lifts his head up to pierce his steely eyes into you, water dripping down his chin. Your mouth gapes open at the beautiful sight, you blink and he’s gone, the man in front of you is just one of your regulars looking at you confused.

“Master?” your plump client calls to you.

“Peaches,” you voice, using the safe word, “I’m sorry Thomas, I spaced out,” you say honestly, rubbing your eyes.

“I don’t pay you good money to trip all over yourself!” The man bellows with connected brows. 

You nod,

“I'll take ten percent off, Let’s go back in” you smile, giving his leash a yank wrinkling your nose at him. “Fucken Dog!” you sneer, kicking the dog dish violently, startling and exciting the man at the same time. “How dare you bark at me!”

“Ruf! Ruf!” the man barks back and the session goes on. 

Thirty minutes later your client is happily leaving the room and you're eager to check down the alleyway for the scouts.

The back door is located off the storage room. Once you enter said room your eyes are squinting, it's pitch black. Every time you enter this room unprepared you make a mental note to bring matches but you're always far too excited to remember to grab them. Arms out, you feel your way to the back door, you've been doing this all day so it's not too hard to locate. You press your palms on the walls, feeling the brick as you spread your hands around, there are boxes everywhere, stacked higher than you could reach, you have to be extra careful not to bump into anything, you tripped over items each time you walked in here today. You smirk slightly when Your hands locate the cold back door, quickly search for the handle, you gasp hearing faint bell ringing, horses trotting and people cheering. Your heart flutters with excitement standing there in the dark, Levi is back! You knew today was gonna be a good day! Eager to see him You rip the door open, you freeze to what you see on the other side.

Three men huddled in an alleyway? That's hella suspicious. And from your experiences living underground, you can't make any sudden movements. Slowly you crack the door, you thought to leave through the front but chose to remain still when you caught what those low lives were discussing.

"So it’s settled? We are actually gonna assassinate the Queen?" The stalkier bearded man asked as if it was crazy. You cover your mouth with shock, the Queen?! You calm your breathing as best as you can but this news shook you to your core, you keep listening. 

"That’s what they're paying for," the Guy wearing glasses answered, smoking a cigarette. "We just got to get close enough."

"What if we get caught?! This is gonna be at the Queen’s ball?” The stalkier bearded man frowns with concern, scratching at his arm anxiously. “There’s gonna be tons of Mp’s Will be killed on the spot!" 

"Will just blend into the chaos and run out of the building,” The skinnier guy replies, shoving the bearded one, “but even if we die, it's a price worth paying!"

He just nods, running a hand through his hair.

“Yeah, yeah you're right, down with the Queen,” he says, lacking confidence.

It can't be real!? You thought, peeking through the crack of the door. These men want to hurt our queen! With one foot You start to back away slowly, you have to inform an MP immediately. You're startled when your shoulder bumps into a stack of boxes, quickly you slap your hand to your mouth letting go of the door, to your horror the boxes all tumble down with a loud crash to the floor. You pray the sudden abruption or even the door closing hasn't alerted the men outside of your presence. 

Surrounded by darkness, your eyes had no time to adjust, in your attempt to run, you trip over the items from the boxes you bumped a moment ago. It wasn't long till the door opened and the men spotted you climbing out of a pile of clothing.

"Get the bitch!" The man wearing glasses orders, and the other two men run in as he holds the door open, keeping a sliver of light on you, the men grab your arms and drag you into the alley kicking and screaming. 

The bearded man grabs you by the wrists and holds them painfully tight behind your back, forcing you to face the one wearing the glasses, he lets og of the door and it shuts, giving you no chance to call for help. The man then strides over to grip your face in his hand. 

"What did you hear?" He questioned sternly. You can smell the cigarette off his breath, it was disgusting. 

"Uh, no-nothing Sir!" You, Studdard, terrified.

"She's lying!" warns the bearded one behind you. He sounds just as scared as you are. "W-we have to kill her! Or she will rat us out!” 

"No!" You struggle, pushing yourself back, shoving the man behind you into the wall. He grunts out, releasing his grip on you, you run.

The skinnier man blocks your way out, you punch him right in the gut, he holds his stomach with a painful wheeze. At that moment the man with the glasses grabbed you from behind, you bend forward, grab his leg and pull upward, he falls to the ground. 

You fought, you fought hard and you fought for a long time but you're outnumbered and getting gassed. The bearded man desperately grabbed your left arm, Glasses your right, they dragged you to a wagon that filled with rainwater from the night before.

You dig your heels into the dirt, backing your head away, you can hear them, The Scouts, still celebrating in the street, You Just need one to hear you. 

“HEL-”

..meanwhile...

Levi along with the rest of the scouts linger around the square. The raven is in desperate need of a shower the smell of his body disgusts him, but unfortunately, he promised to wait for you to greet him home. Off his horse he hung around the citizens and his comrades, partook in conversation with Eren and Armin while his eyes searched the town for you, he imagined you running to him with a smile. A smile he's been thinking about his whole deployment. You would jump into his arms and he’d pretend to hate it. You'd tell him you missed him and he’d nod along and admit he may have thought of you some nights as well. Levi tilts his head left and right searching through the masses trying to spot you. 

Some time passes and he feels you may have gotten lost in the crowd. He moves around to look for you. Instead, he finds Hange who looks to be in a hurry.

"Levi!" they say with haste, "there you are! We gotta get going, we have a meeting with Zackly asap!” They inform the Raven who seems to be looking behind them and around them, “what are you doing?" Hange inquires. 

"Have you seen her?" Levi asked and Hange searched the crowded bodies surrounding them too. 

"No, not yet," they say eyes still scanning around.

Levi looked to the ground, flatlining his mouth.

"I have a bad feeling,” he says with tentative eyes, “I’m going to her work," he then looks for an underling to tie up his horse. 

"Wait!” Hange stops him, "you know she doesn't want you around her place of business."

Levi glares up at them,

"Did she tell you that?"

"Yeah, we had lunch the day before we left, she has a lovely home." Hange grins.

"Tch,” Levi turns to the direction of your work, “well I don't care if she hates it, I'm going.”

"Levi, even if you wanted to you can't,” Hange presses, “we have to leave now with this important information." 

Levi glanced in the direction of your work with great intensity, an intensity that faltered when he brought his attention back to Hange. He hopes this gut feeling is nothing but his desire to see you and not a primal urge to protect you from something. 

"Fine,” he exhaled, “I’ll just see her after" Levi then gets back on his horse, “You coming?” He spoke with an attitude.

Hangie nods back, “Yeah, right behind you, just have to find Eren and the rest of your squad to inform them of their duties, then I’ll be right over!” 

“Ok then, see you there” Levi replies before trotting off.

…

You choke as your body convulses, fighting to get back to the surface. The water you're dunked in is murky, your eyes close in fear of debris floating in. You're gonna drown if you keep thrashing, you go limp and feel the water spill over drenching your pants, you then lunge your body into the wheelbarrow giving it an unbalanced weight that causes it to tip over. The men lose their hold on you and you're now face down, drenched on the floor, gasping for air, coughing up mud and pieces of leaves.

One of them, you're not sure who, flipped you over and sucker-punched you in the gut. Your eyes bulge as the breath you desperately need is knocked out of you, you gasp for air but none comes instead there's weight, the man wearing glasses sits on top of your stomach. 

"You're quite a feisty bitch!” he smirks complimenting you, lighting up a cigarette and taking a drag. Your hunger to survive entertains him, you can tell he’s playing with you by the way he blows smoke in your face, you turn your head away with disgust. “We thought we had you but then you started fighting back,” he takes another drag, taking his time as you fight to breathe under him. “Now let me show you what happens to nosey women." The man in the glasses secures his cig in between his teeth before he rips your shirt open violently with both hands. 

Buttons fly in every direction, you try to scream but you can’t with the man's weight pushing down on your lungs. His hands grope at your breasts, teasing them over your bra, all you can do is squirm underneath him as ashes from his cig fall to your stomach. He laughs, taking his cigarette from his mouth and pressing the lit end against the top of your right breast.

"FUCK!” you grunt out, thrashing your body side to side as he twists the cigarette, putting it out on your skin. The sound of it singeing was all you could pay attention to. This monster is branding his intentions into you, claiming your body as his own property to do with as he pleases. “Don't touch me!" You squeal with rage. Finally gathering enough breath to speak, you extend a hand up to his chin up in an attempt to push him off you. 

You manage to obscure his glasses on his face but your efforts are extinguished when The bearded man grabs your arms and pins them down. In an attempt to free yourself you scrape your knuckles against the stone floor, It must look like you were making bloody wings like a painful snow angel.

The bearded man kept a strong grip on you but he had a hard time suppressing his nerves, 

“We have to kill her now!” he presses, looming over you.

The man wearing the glasses rolls his eyes at his shook-up accomplice.

"Will let you enjoy your last minutes of living with a foursome,” The man wearing the glasses says with a smile as he boops your nose playfully, “how lucky are you?!" 

Your eyes lock and you spit up at him.

Your face was then greeted with a hard hit, so hard you saw a light for a moment. 

“Fucken slut!” he curses.

Your head lazily swayed back to face the sky. Your left eye twitched as red liquid streamed into it, from a slit in your eyebrow. The blood muddled up your vision, you had to keep it closed. Your body had no time to collect itself, every second was met by fear and agony, by the time you looked down, the man with the glasses was off you and your pants were missing. You felt something slapping at your right thigh, frightened and nauseous your lip quivers, you have a feeling of what it might be when you saw it, you instantly looked away.

“Please… please stop…” you beg.

The skinnier man took out his disgusting dick and is slapping it on your thigh.

Passing the repulsive scene down the alleyway is a crowd of cheering people and horses. You knock your head back and scream for help. But that only granted you a hard smack in the face.

"Shut the fuck up!" The man in the glasses shouts now stomping his foot into your ribs, You rasp from the pain, sharp and hot, your legs come into your chest as if to get in the fetal position, every breath now is excruciating! You are silenced by your affliction fear sets in. Did he break a rib?! Will he continue kicking you? Is this how you die?! Raped and murdered in an alleyway next to your work while a parade is going on around you? The man in the glass pulls your legs back down and spreads them open.

Body trembling, you look at the two men above you, jerking themselves profusely over your revealed body, you're not gonna win this fight even with what Levi taught you. As a last resort You pissed yourself, no one even noticed, you're covered in filthy water anyway, it must have masked the scent. You used to piss yourself all the time in the underground, it kept unwanted men away from you, it worked when you were twelve, why isn't it working now? These men really want to hurt you, want to kill you. You are outnumbered and beat to hell. It's over… men are trash and so are you… with no will left to fight, you go limp.

The Bearded man still holds your wrists down at you, in that moment you look at him.

“Please just kill me,” you beg, he gasped from your plea. You thought if any of these men would listen it would be the one who’s been eager to kill you the moment he saw you.

“I’m not in charge here, just… just close your eyes, it'll be over soon.”

The bearded man watched you openly sob, with your injuries your cries are just wheezes with tears. 

"You finally got it? About time," The glasses-wearing man grins, eating up your defeated expression, you ignore him and look up at the sky, focusing on a cloud, trying to leave your body and be somewhere else. 

Your eyes clamp shut when dirty hands slip under your panties. You search for memories to admire from your shitty life, you made a face of confusion when the only one you could grasp was of Levi smashing the water pitcher with the heel of his boot.

You look at the man wearing glasses, down at your hips, he seems to be the right distance. Can I be like Levi? You thought, can I survive?

One solid breath in, even though it hurts, you lift your right leg up, knee to your chest, the man in the glasses looked shocked to see your shoe on his upper body, even more, shocked when you kicked him off you, pushing him to the ground, you lifted your heel fast before anyone could stop you and drove it down on his sternum. The other two backed away when they saw him spit up blood. You got on your feet, immediately there's a throbbing pain in your heel, still, you manage to run, run with a limp down the alley. Run towards the crowd. The men wanted to go after you but the guy in the glasses stopped them from what you gathered he's the leader.

The man in the glasses slowly gets back to his feet, wiping the blood off his face with the back of his hand. Pressing his hand to his injury. 

“No! No! We have to go after her!” The bearded man panics, regretting not taking you up on the plea for a mercy killing.

"Pull your pants up, she's already made it into the crowd, will just have to interrogate the girls working inside. She will have nowhere to hide.".

The bearded man made a vow to himself as he watched you run away and disappear in the crowd. He vows to kill you the next time he sees you, no hesitation, no wait for orders. It will be quick and without warning. He follows his colleagues into the building.

You're in the city now, your shirt is bloodstained and mangled, barely covering the top half of your body, you manage to pull your panties up but you left your pants behind and you definitely can not turn back for them. You're making a scene, but even with all these faces on you, you can't stop running, you turn to another street, pushing your way through soldiers far too tall to be him. You turn your head to see if they're following you, they aren't chasing you but you can't stop. Fuck you held your side, grimacing, it hurts! It all hurts! Why do all these soldiers look the same?! The Green cloaks are making it hard to pinpoint anyone!

You give up on looking for Levi, you have to find a place to hide, the city is so busy today everyone's looking at you like you're some kinda sideshow attraction. Your eyes spot something, an eye patch?! Hange! You shove through the crowd and run right into them, clinging to their torso, They are with others, you have no energy to find out if their people you know, you just know they're not Levi.

"HaNgE!" Your voice cracks with pain as you look up at them, openly sobbing, feeling like you're a step closer to being saved.

Their face pales with shock, seeing you this way.

"(Y/n)!" They take off their cloak and cover your dirty half-naked body, "what happened?!" 

You rasp, trying to talk, tears streaming down your face. 

"PLeAsE, get mE out of heRe!" Hange winced at the sound of your wheezing, they can tell you've been beaten down. "They could be watchING!" 

"Stop talking!" They warn, "it sounds like you hurt something!" 

"Hange!" The Emerald-eyed boy called to them eyes on you, two others close by his side, your eyes sweep in and out of consciousness, catching blurs of a blond and a taller black-haired person. You slap yourself trying not to pass out, your will to remain alert and awake had the boy invested in your situation. "what happened to her? Is she a friend?"

"Uh,” Hange thinks fast, “Eren! Carry her to a hospital!" Hange instructs but you refuse to let them go.

"No!" You shout, in complete agony from the outburst, digging your fingernails into their clothes, the pain becomes so sharp, you feel dizzy leaning back, they reach to grab you but you fall into the emerald-eyed boy. He caught you with no hesitation. You kept your sights on Hange, trying to keep it confidential you pushed yourself off the boy and back into Hange. You feel like a human accordion with the quick back in forth. "The men looking for me want to kill the Queen.” you whisper, “They can't find me! I know too much." you wine from talking.

Hange looked terrified now, what the hell did you get yourself into?

"Eren! Take her to HQ! I'll meet you up there! Go!"

"Hq?” The emerald-eyed boy questioned, “But what about the hospital?”

“That’s an order, Yeager!” they demand.

The boy wasn't sure what was going on but his commander gave him an order. And it’s his duty to fulfill it.

“Right!"

Next thing you knew you were flying? The wind blowing into your face had you squinting, you saw land becoming smaller and buildings becoming closer, like your swinging off them, you figured you were dying and this was your soul leaving your body, at least your dying words helped in some way. 

-

Eren arrives at Hq with Hange by his side, they practically kick the door in, Eren still cradles you in his arms. The sound of the door bursting open woke you, immediately you groaned from your multiple injuries. You're still bleeding from your brow and stinking filthy water mixed with urine. Eren had to smell you and was kind enough to ignore it. 

Jean and Connie arrived at HQ before everyone else to shower and start dinner. They were peeling potatoes when they heard the commotion. Jean poked his head out to see what the problem was and recognized you straight away. 

"That’s the girl who gave me the flower?” he said, dropping the potato to the floor, running over to Eren who held you carefully. “Why is she here and why is her face so-?”

"Jean!” Commander Hange calls to him and he stiffens, “Grab towels, clean water, and the first aid kit! She's gonna need stitches! Connie! Bring me a paper and something to write with!" 

"Yes Commander!" the boys shout, going to fulfill their tasks.

"Take her to the first spare bed!” Hange orders Eren, who runs up the steps, “I'll examine her wounds Immediately!"

You cry out, the trauma from the incident is making you nauseous, they laid you on the bed so delicately, yet you feel every part of your body, screaming with anguish. You're wheezing, gripping your side, you thought you were flying not too long ago, now you're on your back, maybe you're getting a fever dream from your injuries? Your mind is all muddled.

Your eyes, half-lidded and heavy move to Hange who is now removing the cloak from your body. At first, you thought the boys averted their eyes to be polite since you're only in your undergarments, but looking down to the disgusting bruising on your right side and the horrendous burn mark on your chest had you averting your eyes. Your shirt hung open stained and drenched, just like you, you're revolting. The smell and sight of your current state have you openly sob, wishing this day never happened.

"It's ok, you're safe now," Hange tells you with a calm serene tone, their hand on your shoulder, like a mother calming her crying children, "nod if you understand." 

You nod and they sigh in relief, 

They gently opened your right eye wider to check your pupils. They then dampen a cloth to wipe the dry blood off your left so they could open that one too. 

"Your pupils are normal, that's good, still you're most likely concussed, but not so bad that we can’t let you sleep. The gash in your brow is deep and the bruising around it looks nasty."

They then take attention to the horrible purplish-green welted bruises on your lower right side.

"It-" *wheeze* "HUrTs tO bReAthE!" You whimper out, painfully.

Hange leans into your chest to listen to your breathing, 

"When you got this injury Did you hear or feel a crack?" 

You shook your head and Hange lifted themself off your chest to sit back down.

"I know this may be hard but, you have to tell us what happened, not only about the queen but how you got the injuries so I can properly diagnose you."

Your eyes search the room, you see Jean, The emerald-eyed boy, and a very short-haired guy with grey hair. 

"He's not here," Hange communicated, "I'm sorry but we can't wait for him."

"No," you cough, balling your fists in the sheets as you ride the sharp pangs, "I'm glad he's not…." 

Hange takes the clipboard and writing utensil from the grey short-haired man they call Connie, they looked to you as patiently as they could. You swallow thickly and start telling them.

"I was leaving through the back alley of my work, I heard three men outside, they looked suspicious so I listened in," you cough, the pain had you pulling out your hair. "Fuck!" Tears prickle your eyes. “They all spoke of assassinating the queen, one made a remark about getting paid to do it, but I could tell they didn’t fancy the queen much either and how hard they fought to silence me shows this isn't a threat, it’s a promise. They want her dead.

Hange felt shivers as they wrote that down,

"What did the men look like?"

"Nothing distinguishable," you spoke in a whisperish rasp, "they looked like regular folks, but If I ever saw them again I could point them out." 

"Can you try harder to describe them?" Hange frowned.

You shook your head, 

"I'm sorry, I wasn't really looking into their eyes, but one was a bulky dirty blond with a beard, one wore glasses. I think he was a redhead or a brunette, and the last one was skinny with medium-length black hair? Or was it brown? No, it couldn't have been brown” you shake your head. “The one who wore the glasses seemed to be the leader, the bearded one came off nervous and wanted to kill me the moment they dragged me out of the building.”

All your rasping has Hange clearing their throat.

"Keep going," they say, writing it all down.

"They caught me listening and dragged me out,” you breathed, “asked if I saw anything, I lied and it was obvious so they gave me a beating, I fought so hard really I did but" you swallow again thickly, the lump in your throat remains there, you ask for a glass of water and they were quick to fetch you one. You down it and move on. "There were three of them, first it was my face," you gesture to the nasty cut on your eyebrow, some of the blood dried but the gash is deep. "They then tore off my shirt and" you cover your face with your bloody knuckled hands, "the man in the glasses put his cigarette out on my right breast…” you point to the burn mark, “and started molesting me..." you close your eyes, turning your head and covering your body with your arms.

Everyone in the room felt a certain feeling for you, Jean in particular balled his fists to the news. Only sharing a small moment with you he felt like you're a friend to him, and he despised seeing his friends in peril. The more indef you got the more their faces grimaced, Eren had to be told to stand down after you told them how they tried to take you. He has no idea who you are yet he has such a fire under him. Suppose he feels a certain desire to help you after having carried you all the way here. 

"I kicked him down, dug my heel into his chest, got up, and ran away! Then I found you," you finish.

Hange nods, looking over the report. 

"Thank you for telling us, the first thing I want to tell you is,” They pause to grab your hand and look into your eyes, “You are very brave."

"Not just that!" Jean shouts, "She's a true badass for doing a number on that guy and getting away!" 

"Ah! Indeed, if only it was somewhere distinguishable like the face." Hange frowned, "Now the rest of you step out so I can look over her injuries."

The boys leave and Hange starts looking you over. It was long and extensive, every poke and prod hurt more than the last. They wrote more in their report and sat back down.

"Good news," Hange half-smiles, trying to look in good spirits. "The kick to your ribs did not break them, there just severely bruised, you also sprained your heel and your eyebrows gonna need stitches, I can fix that no problem, I'll wrap your sprain up too, your heel will heal faster than the ribs, in time your gonna be right as rain!" They announce.

"That's good to hear," you said with a tired breath...

"If it hurts to breathe, try holding a pillow against your chest," Hange adds.

You nod, then got serious.

"I want to help you save the queen," you say sincerely, "she's done so much for the children, If I go with you to the ball I'll be able to point them out, please let me help, I already have an idea for a plan."

Hange wasn't sure what to say, it's true having you there would be a huge help, maybe even the only way to stop them from getting close. But you're a civilian, this is more of an M.P thing, but they never take any of this seriously, not only that, they have no idea who hired these men, it is good and well be an MP, not a lot of them like the queen. What to do! Hard to say right now. 

They chose to not answer.

"For now on you are living here with the scouts till this matter is taken care of, they will keep you safe." They then thread a hook needle, "I'll stitch your eyebrow now and wrap your sprain."

You're a little hurt from how Hange didn’t have a reply for what you had to say, but you know they listened. You could see the conflict in their eyes. You will just have to bring it up again next time you see them. 

Halfway through wrapping your heel Armin barges in.

"Commander Hange!" Armin's face struck red, seeing a half-naked woman. "Oh! Sorry!" he turns for the door and smacks his head on the frame. 

You and Hange eye the blond as he mumbles away.

"Armin! Go to the meeting in my place!” Hange orders, “If Levi asks, tell him my eye started leaking that white milk stuff again and I sought immediate medical attention!"

Armin fidgets in place, 

"Bu- but Commander, I'm, I'm not, do you think he will buy that?"

"Now's not the time for self-doubt, go!"

“Oh! Ok!”

Armin squeaked and left the room with haste.

"Here" Hange hands you a sedative, "take this it will help with the pain."

You take it with some water.

“Thank you so much Hange.” you half-smile and they mimic your expression.

“I consider you a good friend, you intrigue me, seeing you like this is-” they pause to finish wrapping your sprain. “Hard…”

Your face softens to their kind words.

“Hange, I feel the same, I hope you will come to visit me often”

“Oh! I'll be around a lot more now that you're staying here” They let out a little laugh. 

“Good,” you grin feeling sleepy.

“I’m gonna let you rest, will get you cleaned up once you wake up, make sure to unwrap your injuries before getting in the water. Sasha will be happy to help you rewrap when you're done.”

“Sounds good,” you say, closing your eyes.

Hange leaves the room once you drifted off, they were curious about what you looked like sleeping. 

…

Levi sat in his designated seat, arms crossed impatiently waiting for the meeting to start. He hasn't bathed, his hair is greasy, and he’s been sitting here for an hour now. Where the hell is Hange?

Levi’s eyes like always, the trail to the empty seat next to him, the one they never fill. Erwin’s seat. The raven slumps his shoulders, saddened as he pulls a memory of his late friend sitting in that chair, announcing to the board his ideas and plans. He always looked so handsome and passionate. Levi took a large breath in and out as he set his attention back on Zackly who just looked to be bored, aside from him is Pixis, who keeps sneaking sips of alcohol out of his flask.

Finally, the door opens and to Levi’s surprise, it’s not Hange. But Armin. The nervous blond explains why he’s there in place of Commander Hange. After that the meeting went by smoothly, Levi was eager to head back to HQ and finally get cleaned up for his date, but he needed to address something first. The way Armin ran into the meeting with such a disgusting and personal excuse for Commander Hange’s absence has Levi very curious. Still, the blond did good, when he finds his confidence he can lead a room the raven will just ask Hange himself what this was all about after he bathes. Something today is just not setting right.

Even so the meeting is over and Levi takes his leave with Armin, who's crippled with nerves, he barely makes eye contact with the raven the whole carriage ride to Hq. The constant mumbling and fidgeting made Levi’s suspicions more real.

“So Hange’s eye is acting up again” Levi glares at the blond, Armin jumped when his captain broke the silence. 

“Uh-huh.” he nodded eyes to the floor, 

Levi tilts his head then gazes to the corner of his eye. 

“From what I recall last time, it’s quite repulsive and smelled like shit.”

“YeP,” Armin squeaks, uncomfortably, “It is quite an uns-settling Captain.” 

Levi was ready to push the boy's buttons a little harder but he lost the opportunity when the carriage stopped and the blond hurled himself out of the carriage.

Levi casually steps out to see the blond sprinting past Hange who is sitting on the steps of the entrance. He opened the door and was quick to shut it behind him.

Levi kept his casual stride up to Hange, Their head perks up and they muster a smile.

“The boy looks rather eager to get away from me” Levi admits, “Am I really that hard to be around, or is he keeping something from his Captain?”

Hange lets out a little chuckle, 

“Probably just nerves from his first time leading a meeting.” they shrug.

"What happened?" Levi questioned, "you're covered in blood, you said your eye was leaking.” he places a hand on his hip, tilting his chin down at them, giving Hange his judgemental stare. “Was it bleeding too?"

"No… that was just an excuse," Hange admits, still giving off their friendly smile.

Levi's eyes narrow.

"Care to Explain? Commander." 

"Before I do, I have to remind you of our military handbook.” They say raising their pointer finger to the sky, "Like that fun rule about not having relations or romantic intentions with civilians that we put under our care. Doing so could compromise the mission and lead to the demotion of rank and dock of pay."

“Tch,” Levi crinkles his nose, passing them to open the door. "What are you babbling about shitty glasses? I keep work and my personal life separate."

Hange got up, quick to follow Levi inside, they know this is a delicate matter and worry about the raven's next action.

Levi walks into the large communal space connected to the dining room. Eren, Jean, and Armin all sat at the table, they were talking but once they caught the eye of the raven they froze, averting their gazes to the table. They don’t know much but Hange did brief them that the girl upstairs is a friend to Levi, and he won't react well to hearing the news. Eren had no idea Levi was capable of making friends with his aloof attitude and desire to be a complete asshole to everyone he meets. 

"What's wrong with you three?" Levi questions with attitude, he's not liking the stale smell of blood in the air. He looks down to see a blood trail, leading up the steps.

"Well, there is no easy way to say this Levi so I'm just gonna go out with it.” Hange comes from behind to wash their hands in the sink. “We got intel about a plan to assassinate the queen at the ball that's being held in a month's time."

"Intel?" Levi leans against the counter in the kitchen, his eyes glance to blood rags dangling out of a bucket, next to it a bloody sewing hook placed resting on a tray that was set half haphazardly on the table. "you got one of the shit bags up there?” he questions, “Did you torture them for answers?"

Hange looks at their hands as they dry them.

"I wish that were the case…" they answer, holding the rag tightly.

"Oh, Is there a victim up there?" Levi eyes the stairs again, catching the shadow of an open door.

"Yes,” Hange frowns as they nod, “she overheard them talking and got caught… they managed to get away and found me in the crowd, that's why they are here and why I missed the meeting."

"Hm, poor girl,” Levi bows head arms crossed, he’s slightly agitated, but not too concerned, after all, he’s never met this girl. “They must of beat the piss out of her, hope she was ugly or they might of"

"Levi!" Hange shouts and he shuts up from the tone of their voice, "You better watch what you say,” Hange warns.

Levi grows confused and agitated, Jean and Eren are glaring at him, why?

"Why are you acting so emotional?” He questions indifferently, “Is this woman, someone, you're familiar with?" 

"Not just me," Hange says, slowly lifting their chin to look him in the eye dramatically. "you know her too." 

Levi squints at Hange, who the hell could it be? His eyes then pop open as the realization hits him. He grunted aloud unsure if he wanted to even ask.

"(Y-Y/n)?" 

Hange just nods, silently with saddened eyes.

"That damned woman!" He curses going for the steps, Hange extends her arm blocking his way, the others stand up quick, Eren calls for Mikasa who then quietly leaves a room upstairs and walks down to back up Hange.

"Move!" Levi demands. 

"No!" Hange spoke sternly, "Not till you have calmed down!"

"Relax," Levi said through his teeth, "I'm just gonna ask her what they look like!" 

"Eren! Jean!" Hange calls for backup and they move to circle Levi.

He looked to them then Hange.

"Your as dumb as Connie if you think these two can hold me back."

"Your right they can't stop you, but I'm hoping this will, Captain Levi Stand down that's an order!"

"This is a personal matter," he glares, 

They shake their head,

"Not with the information she's given us, she is under our protection now, remember what I said before we came in here?"

"I still don't understand why I can't see her!"

"She was just attacked and nearly-" Hange stops themself, "the last thing she needs is you yelling at her for being at the wrong place at the wrong time!"

"I won't yell," He grunts, "I just want to know what they look like and what they did! So I can take care of this now."

"Don't you dare make that poor woman relive this shit experience three times today, you wanna know what happened? Read the damn report! It's on the table."

Levi breathes heavily, his demon eyes fixed on his Commander, she's right, he's no good to you acting like a monster, with an angry groan, he turns away from the steps and over to the table.

Eren watched his Captain with confusion, 

"Why is he so angry?" He whispered to Mikasa, "I never seen him act like this before for a regular citizen"

"He must know the victim, maybe she's that girl we saw saying goodbye to him before we left for the expedition,"

"he must be pulling an Eren" Jean jabs,

Eren looked at Mikasa and Levi again, 

"Is that how I am?"

"The Captain makes it cooler" Armin chimes in. 

"I can hear you, you know!" Levi snaps, making the others flinch, "Go make yourselves useful and start dinner!" He demands, trying to get his anger out by barking orders. 

The room clears out leaving just him and Hange. 

He had a hard time looking over the report, every other paragraph had him putting it down to keep the rage from surfacing, he knows he's no good to you or anyone if he's in a cell. But still, knowing this information will be read by high-ranking officials has him clenching his jaw, this document will be discussed openly for weeks and he will just have to sit there and listen. 

Levi got to the point where Hange wrote of the men slapping their genitals on your thigh and he had to slam the papers down and walk away from it. 

He faced the stairs, he already knew what room you were in, he felt weak in the knees yet still remained tall.

"Did they…"

"No,” Hange shook their head. “She got away by striking her left heel into the man's chest, it's sprained but she'll be walking normally in a couple of weeks, she had to run in the city wearing next to nothing, it was pure luck that she found me." Hange took their glasses off to rub their eyes with a deep breath. “Running with those injuries couldn't have been easy...”

Levi fell into distraught, eyes staring widely at the floor filled with guilt and dismay. He believes This is his fault. He was going to see you, he was moving towards your building, he felt something was wrong, something inside him told him to run to you, but he ignored it. He could have seen it and stopped it with little to no effort, this is on him, yet again he wasn’t there when someone he cared for needed him most. 

"I was right there…” he spoke quietly, “I should have gone to see her," Levi frowned, brows connected as he turns back to the Commander. "do we have a plan set?"

"We're writing one up now," Hange explained, "I sent Sasha to inform the queen and to seek counsel with us at a later date, the ball isn't for a month, we have some time, to strategize.".

"(Y/n) is not to leave this building,” Levi glares, “she is a part of this now, whether I like it or not that's the truth."

Hange eyes Levi and smirked,

"So it is like that?"

"You misunderstand me, Commander," Levi lies and it’s obvious, “She is nothing but a citizen put under my protection.” 

"Good,” The Commander nods, “When this is over you two can be whatever you want but right now, you can't be rumored as a soldier who took advantage of a young battered woman."

"I get it… " Levi exhales, eyes darting to the left, "Do I have permission to go see her now?"

"Yes, she's in the third room to the right. I gave her a sedative hours ago, she should be waking up soon, she's gonna need these when she opens her eyes." Hange hands Levi pain pills.

Levi takes the pills and makes his way up the steps. 

-

Levi quietly opened the door and slowly walked in. Mikasa's head perked up from the sound, she’s been sitting silently by your bedside for hours now. Mikasa feels a small connection to you, she too was attacked and outnumbered by men, she wishes to share her story with you someday, in hopes it would make you feel less alone, she feels she understands your pain the most.

Levi gestures with a tilt of his head towards the open door. Mikasa felt hesitant since her Captain acted so harshly down the stairs but after she caught the way he eyed you, his first glimpse of you in your beaten state she saw no threat, just sorrow, Mikasa calmly got up and left the room, closing it on her way out.

Levi takes Mikasa's chair, He took one look at your dirty bloody body and felt the rage building up inside himself, he already considers the men who did this to be dead. His eyes observe your mangled shirt left on the floor, you're only in your undergarments under a thin sheet. Did no one think to clothe you?! 

Levi's rage is now replaced with deep sorrow, your beautiful face is covered in dry blood, your hair dampened and clotted with dirt. The raven reaches a hand to pull out pebbles and leaves from your locks. He then covered his nose with haste, getting whiffs of blood and piss, in the report you told Hange you pissed yourself to come off as undesirable. He can't imagine what you were feeling, Levi never felt threatened for his life, not after Kenny scooped him up and taught him how to survive. But for you, it must have been a struggle day in and day out.

When he said he wanted to watch you sleep this was not at all what he had in mind. 

“Why must I always fail to protect the ones I care about?” Levi questions aloud, “I couldn't save my mother from her illness, I couldn’t save Isabelle or Church…” the raven bows his head, feeling the weight of his failures, it’s all so heavy. “Erwin…” he calls out, looking to the ceiling, “Will I ever be able to break the cycle? Or am I doomed to repeat myself?”

“Mmmnnn” you groan slowly waking up from hearing a familiar voice.

"(Y/n)..." He whispered gently, touching your hand. “I’m sorry for waking you.”

He watches as your eyes slowly open. You squint from the light coming out of the window, lazily you look at the hand touching you, you follow the limb to see a very distraught Levi.

“Levi,” you say his name sleepily, “you look greasy, I have never seen you so dirty, go take a shower…” you say before drifting off again, Levi curiously pats his hand on his head then grimaces from the texture. Seconds later your eyes pop open. “Levi!" You sprung up, his hands extend to warn you to take it easy, you wince as you cry loudly from the pain in your side. Seems the sedative wore off. 

"Lay back down! You wanna injure yourself further?" He scolds you.

Slowly you lay back down saddened by his tone, Levi mentally kicks his ass for making you look that way.

"How are you feeling?" He asks, taking his hand back before you could lock your fingers with his.

You're tired, it's hard to keep your sight on him.

"Great," you lied with an exhausted grin. 

Levi lets it go, he doesn't wish to yell at you even if you're a terrible liar. 

"I was told to give you these."

You eye the bottle in his hand and slowly turn your head to stare at your glass of water. 

Levi caught the glance, grabs the glass, and hands it to you.

You wince and grunt setting yourself up to take the glass and the pill from the raven. 

"Did they tell you what happened?" your lip quivers embarrassed, your brow furrows as you look away from him.

“Yes…” he nods, and you just felt like hiding. 

You lay on your pillow, eyes open wide as a single tear stream down the side of your face.

"It was like I was back in the underground, my father sold me off to a brothel at the age of twelve to pay off his gambling debts, so things like this happened to me many times, this is just a reminder me that I haven't changed, I'm still a weak little girl…" you blink and more tears stream down your cheeks.

Hearing that you lived in a brothel just like his mother hurt him a certain way, explains why you two never crossed paths back then, he never came back to that side of town, only once when he killed those men who attacked Isabelle years ago. But he didn't see anyone else, if he saw you he would of for sure helped you, but if he would have done that you would have followed him blindly to your death just like they did... 

"That couldn't be farther than the truth," Levi protests and you turn to him, wiping your eyes. "There were three of them and you still managed to get away, you even fucked one up on your way out. I wouldn't call that weak."

You frown still, not sure you believe him, Levi lifts his chin.

"You're still gonna bitch and moan?" he asks coldly. 

“At least a little longer yeah,” you retort sniffling. "The kids at the orphanage won't know what happened to me, I'm supposed to see them next week, I never miss a day without notice, I'm gonna miss them so much,” you quickly hand Levi back the painkiller and water to grab a pillow from behind you to press against your stomach as you cough. You clench your jaw through the discomfort. “They're gonna be so worried!" You wanted to sob but your bruised ribs instead made you wheeze, you held the pillow tighter against you.

"You're in pain, please just take the painkiller," Levi presses.

"Poor Ryan," you whine, not listening to the raven.

Levi refused to hold his tongue.

"You're laying in a bed lucky to be alive and your main concern are those orphaned brats?"

"Don't call them that," you whimper, 

Levi felt like he was gonna explode, your concerns for others outweigh your own. Do you not see how important you are to him, why wont you just take the fucken pill?! He takes a deep breath to calm himself, he can’t get you to listen to him by yelling, you're not one of his soldiers. 

"Will you take the pills if I send some of my guys there to see them?" he questions, hoping that would persuade you. 

"Yes!" You shout afraid he'd take it back if you didn't look appreciative enough, but the outburst had you spilling your water on yourself. You take the pill and chug the water down and hand it back. He takes it and stares at you with his steely blue eyes. 

Just looking into your soul. 

"I will slaughter those men for what they've done to you, that I promise"

You give him the same look.

"I hope they cry out for you to stop,” you say, filling each word with hate, “and you just keep going." 

Levi had that feeling again, the feeling that made his hair stand on ends and chilled his spine, his eyes twinkle hearing your approval. He never heard you say anything so vengeful. 

“Levi…” you call to him and he snaps out of his lucid gaze. “Your staring” he clears his throat sitting up straight in his chair. 

"Do you need help getting into the tub? You should take a bath, before the pill kicks in."

"No, I don't want a bath," you say, shaking your head frantically, “I just want to sleep.”

"You smell like shit, this is not up for debate."

You do smell horrible...

" I can do it alone," you said, not wanting to look weaker. 

"Oh?" Levi crosses his legs in his chair, "well let's see it then."

You toss the blanket off your body and wince immensely as you sit yourself up on the bed. Slowly you turn your body to lay your feet on the ground. Stuttering outbreathes.

You put all your weight on your good foot and when you try to apply some on your bad one your body gives out and your ass plops onto the bed, the quick drop had you in tears, stinging your eyes.

It was hard to watch, your wrists are bruised and your knuckles covered in dry blood, you cover your mouth, shuttering, Levi stood up, he saw enough. It’s clear you're too weak to move on your own.

"I'll go grab one of the girls to help you," Levi insists, hand on the knob about to turn it open.

"Could you just help me?" You asked desperately, Levi let go of the doorknob to pay attention to you, his expression looked somewhat scared, with a slight blush, "You're the only one I want around me right now…."

"Uh,” Levi stands there unsure what to do with his hands, he leaves them at his sides, “I think it would be best if I got one of the women to-"

"They tried to drown me!” you fume, getting angry with the way Levi is acting, like you're just some victim he has no chemistry with, “I was fucken attacked." You rasp eyes squinting in pain, "Your two feet from me yet you make me feel like there's a great distance between us,” you lash and Levi just takes it, with sad eyes. “I don't fucken understand why you're not holding me right now? Why your acting so different" 

Levi's heart panged, or fluttered? He wasn't sure if it was the fact you wanted him so badly or the sadness of having to reject your desire for his affection. 

"You know I want to hold you, I would carry you there myself but, I can't act inappropriately here,” he frowns, “you're a part of our mission now, I can't complicate it further…"

He saw the disappointment in your eyes as if he kicked you in the ribs himself. 

"Oh… I understand..." You blink, crossing your arms, "So much for that date,” you sigh, “if only I took the front door..." 

Levi takes a knee and looks at you with sincerity. 

"You impressed me today, you showed me your more than talk and a pretty face, I'm proud of you, my feelings haven't changed, we will have that date, just not till this mess is over."

You looked down at him, must have been the nicest thing a man has ever said to you, you smiled with a trembling chin. 

His face softened and the smallest smile showed up on his face. He wrapped the sheet around you, covering your body, he got back up and opened the door to call for one of his subordinates. 

"Brause! Up here now!" Levi commands. 

You eye the open door curiously, hearing frantic footsteps up the stairs. 

"Yes Sir!" A young woman with hair the color of chocolate stands before Levi awaiting his next order. 

"Help our guest to the tub, make sure she has all she needs."

"You got it," she smiles down at you and gives you her hand. 

Before you take it you turn to Levi, he narrowed his eyes at the cold look you're giving him.

"Um, Mr. Akermin,” you hold onto the sheet covering your body modestly, “can you please leave, I'm indecent.”

Levi was taken back, you look at him as if he was a stranger, then again, that's what he wanted, but still, there was more to that look, it seems he may have upset you, nothing he can do about that...

“My Apologies Ms,” Captain Levi apologies before taking his leave out of the room and down the steps.

Once he was gone You took the other woman's hand, she helped you slowly get back up. "I'll stand on your bad side, just hold on to me Ma’am" she encourages, you place an arm around her and she helps you move. 

You're whimpering once you're out of the room.

"Fuck!" Your breath hitches, "this shit" you wheeze.

"Don't worry,” Blouse grins, “You will feel better by next week, after that it will only hurt if you cough or laugh."

"Ah, well I'll make sure to stay away from your Captain, he's quite the jokester." 

The other woman tries to hold in her snickering, 

"You're funny," she compliments, moving as slow as possible.

You smirk, 

"Thanks." 

Ms. Blouse starts your bath, you undress and unravel your wraps while you sit on the toilet seat, she then gingerly helps you in the tub.

As soon as the water touched you, you felt relief, it was warm and inviting, a lot like this woman helping you.

"I'll be back with crutches, we just found some in a storage room, that should help you get around while your heel heals."

You relax in the warm water, 

"Thanks, that will be a big help," your eyes look to the ceiling, "oh, I think the pills are kicking in, thank fuck,” you lean your head back closing your eyes with relief, you sip in your breaths, slowly letting them out. 

The women watched you and smirked, you saw that, 

"What's up?" you ask.

"Oh, I'm real sorry Ma’am! I don't mean to stare! I swear it's not like that" she waves her hands, "It's just, I like the way you talk."

"Oh! Wow, heh, that's nice of you," you blush feeling bashful, and slightly looney, "Blouse right?"

“Call me Sasha” she grins and you painfully extend a wet bubbly and to her, 

"None of the Ma’am shit please,” you smile friendly, “I’m in my twenties, call me (Y/n)." 

She happily squeezes your hand, knowing better than to shake it.

"We're gonna take mighty good care of you here," she said kindly.

"Don't make too much of a fuss over me,” you wave a hand dismissively, “I'll feel better in a week or two." 

"Exactly," she gets up, "I'll be back with the crutches," she says before leaving you. 

-

Your body feels calm, the pills must have kicked in, you can finally take a real deal breath. The drugs may help with the physical pain but the emotional is still there, at least now when you cry it won't hurt as much. Little emotional hicks and disgusting sobs tumble out of your mouth. You don't want the others to hear. You refuse to trouble them with your issues. So you cry out in whispers even covering your mouth to keep the volume down. It felt good to cry, you sobbed till your eyes turned red. Till you could no longer vocalize your despair. After that, you just laid there in the water, after that you cleanse yourself with the soap provided by Sasha. You wash your hair and spend ten minutes brushing leaves and clumps of dirt out of your hair with your fingers. 

You don't wanna stay in the tub for too long, you're starting to feel pruney and the water turned murky with the blood and dirt. You climb out of the tub as slow as possible, you sit on the edge as you dry yourself off. Sasha left you a nightgown and your crutches, you told her you'd skip dinner to sleep off your injuries so that's what you plan to do. 

You laid back in the bed, staring at the ceiling. It was nice of them to strip the bed and give you fresh sheets. You covered yourself in the blanket trying to relax into the bed. It’s hard to believe that this is your life now, a life in hiding, but the people here aren't so bad, and you have him here… that a plus in itself. Even if you have to pretend he’s no more than a friend? An acquaintance? A stranger? You're not sure how you're supposed to address him, You recognize a few of the Soldiers from when you saw Levi off, so maybe they see you like Levi’s friend or a citizen showing their appreciation to the Captain of the Scouts? You know you recognize Jean from the cemetery- you yawn feeling fried from all the overthinking. Whatever… you will just feel the room and act accordingly, as long as you're not giving Levi too much attention you will be fine. Damn these are good drugs… You close your eyes submitting to slumber and drift off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for such a nasty chapter, but the next one is more fluff and plenty of character building as The Reader adjusts to her new life living with the Levi Squad.


	6. Sex Ed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is full of the reader settling into her new life living with the Scouts in Levi’s Squad. 
> 
> Warnings: Talk of past Non-Con, Talk of past trauma, cursing, fluff, and minor talk about Panic/Anxiety Attacks followed by Comfort.
> 
> I can’t remember if I say this before but I aged the Scouts up before the major time jump. In the timeline of the story, I wanna say this is some time after they saw the sea, right now they're just exploring their island, haven't met any of the volunteers just yet.

Light shines into your room through a cracked open window. Your nose crinkles and your face twists as it turns away from the brightness. Groans leave your mouth when the pain comes back to bite you. It's your first morning with the scouts and you feel as if your body chewed you up and spit you out. You quickly turn to your side reaching desperately for the pills on your nightstand. You spent your whole day in your room, Sasha and Jean brought you your meals and before you knew it it was nighttime then morning again and you repeat your routine of pill-popping. 

Today, you planned to have breakfast with the scouts, the moments you weren’t sleeping you used to plan how you will thank them for being so kind to you, letting you live here, and share their space. But unfortunately, that's not happening, you're in no condition to be thanking anyone, you can't even get out of bed, everything still hurts. And your mental state definitely concerns you, you had a nightmare last night of the men pinning you down, and sometimes when you close your eyes you see the man in the glasses, taking long drags of his cigarette and blowing smoke into your face. It's obvious you're suffering some PTSD from the incident. You can only hope to keep it under control and not be a burden. You have no room to complain about this to people who constantly have to watch their loved ones die by Titans. 

Still, in bed you stare up at the ceiling for a while, waiting for the pills to work their magic, and knock your ass out. 

Your eyes pop open, when you woke up you had no idea what time it was but you heard commotion downstairs. You turn your gaze to the window, it’s still sunny out. You then notice a tray of food on the chair next to your bed. As you thought, you missed breakfast. Your eyes droop, staring at the eggs and sausage, it smells good but you can’t seem to muster up an appetite.

Your body felt numb and that was a good thing, you can breathe better when you can’t feel. These pills work well. You turn to your side and just lay there, ignoring the fact you have to pee, you really don't want to bump into anyone. Just ignore it and go back to sleep.

Downstairs the scouts are deep cleaning and working on their chores. Levi, dressed in his cleaning attire, his bandana in his hair, another around his neck, on his hands and knees scrubbing with the brush you recommended that door he bumped into your at the market. He scrubbed the floors of the kitchen space after breakfast and finished the entire downstairs by 1100.

As he drains his bucket in the sink he overhears his peers as they wipe the tables down.

"She's been stuck in that stuffy room for two days now." Connie points out, "you think she will ever come out? I heard from Sasha she won’t eat her meals."

"She will when she's ready,” Jean explains, “she was attacked she needs time to recover, she's just a civilian.”

Levi silently groaned to himself, unable to let you live your days alone in a room. But his main concern is the state of your room. No one has properly cleaned it in two days. That can not stand. The raven picks up his duster rods and some other supplies into his bucket and makes his way up the steps to your room.

He knocks politely but doesn't await an invitation. He walks in and immediately plops his cleaning tools down when he sees you laying on the floor on your side still in your nightgown.

"Ms (Your last name)." He calls to you as he gets on his knees to shake you by the shoulder. 

Your head jolts with anxiety as you quickly turn to lay on your back, paranoid about who’s touching you. You look up frightened at the raven, once you saw it was just Levi, you relaxed and drew out a breath of relief.

"Oh, Mr. Akermen,” you manage a light smile, “good timing, could you grab my crutches from against the wall over there? I have to pee." you point across the room to your crutches.

Levi follows your finger then gives you an agitated look. 

"Why are you on the floor?" He questions a little too sternly. 

"Well, I fell off the bed, cuz I had to pee" you tilt your head, eyes to the upper left, recollecting what happened. "And then I felt too sad to get up," you squeeze your legs together with a squeaky groan, "please Sir, get me the crutches," you beg dramatically, "I've been laying here for an hour and I really gotta go!"

"An hour?!" Levi glares, getting off his knees to grab your crutches and help you to your feet. You wrap your arms around his neck and he effortlessly lifts you up, you keep your bad foot off the floor. "Why would you just lay there like that? Damn, you’re becoming a pain in my ass.”

"Unlike you who holds in his pain and suffering deep, deep inside, I, a healthy person," Levi rolls his eyes as he helps you tuck the crutches under your arms. "Go through the stages of getting through my past traumas." 

"By laying completely still on the floor with a bladder full of piss?" Levi scowls,

"It's a process," you breathe, holding in the want to whimper, you haven't been out of bed in a while… standing is hard and Levi can see it.

"Not feeling too good are you?" Levi jeers, "That's what happens when you don't take care of yourself."

"Levi," you sigh saying his name, he clenches his jaw at the way you say it, the over-familiarity like a second later he would lean in and kiss you, he just keeps an indifferent expression as he listens to you. "as much as I'd love to stay this close to you in your very attractive outfit, I mean the bandana in your hair is really doing it for me, like way more then the maid outfit did, but I think I better get to the toilet then back to bed or the floor, think it was doing wonders for my back." 

Levi breaths through his nose, closing the door, you nervously chew the inside of your cheek, as he stares you down. 

"Ms (Your last name) let me be clear with you on how living here is gonna go." You frown feeling you may have poked the bear a little too much. "Mind your tongue, this is your only warning," Levi scolds and you gulp, heat burning in your ears by the way he speaks to you, "I am your superior here, so listen up girl," he grabs one of your crutches to display dominance, it only excited you further, "you are gonna get cleaned up, brush out the rats nest on your head and your teeth, get dressed and get your ass downstairs for lunch. My squad will no longer be bringing your meals to your room, you lucky were no longer in a famine or I would of force-fed you your breakfast"

"Uh," you fan yourself and he pinches the roof of his nose.

"Don't do that," he demands.

"Do what?" You ask cluelessly. 

"Gawk at me like you want to tear my clothes off, show some restraint, you're like a cat in heat,” Levi eyes you up and down in disgust, “you're gonna make this whole thing difficult, aren't you?"

"I'm not trying to," you admit with slight hesitancy, looking away from his intimidating gaze, you do feel bad for running your mouth. "Look, I'm sorry, I'm only deflecting, flirting with you felt a lot easier than dealing with all this." You admit with an embarrassed tone, "It won't happen again, I promise, I'll be a good" you bat your eyes and Levi strains himself from looking at you any further, "I'll obey your every word Captain"

Levi shakes his head, letting go of your crutch.

"I'm not your Captain, just" he opens the door, "get cleaned up"

"Yes Sir!" You attempt to salute him and he grimaces.

"No, Inappropriate, never do that again!" he glares, bearing teeth. 

You nod emanating awkwardness, eyes wide just realizing how wrong that was, not sure what to say now you just limp out of the room.

After all that Levi shook off the uncomfortable feelings you gave him, if that was anyone else he would of beat them senseless, what were you thinking?! The raven covers his eyes and takes a large inhale then exhales before turning his attention to your disgusting room. 

-

"Fuck that was embarrassing!" You groan in the bathtub, "Salute a literal Captain the Survey Corps?!” You lean back in the tub covering your face with a washrag as you berate yourself, “why in the world would you do that! Is it because you're trying to distract yourself from what happened to you two days ago? By looking like a complete idiot?!” You groan once more. “I have to figure out the best way to communicate with him.” 

Out of the tub, towel around you, you carefully sat on the toilet, you saw clothes folded neatly on the countertop when you first came in. Did Sasha place them here this morning? You reach with an anguished rasp, pulling the clothes off the counter and into your lap.

You held a black long sleeve up to your face, it looked nice and around your size, you're not sure who it belongs to but you're happy to have it. 

You slip it on, pulling your arms through the sleeves, then there is the scary part, you grimace, staring down the jeans, will they fit? You look for a name stitched inside, Mikasa… she does have wide hips, you tilt your head, you may get lucky. Slowly with your feet, one after the other, you slip them in. Your bum heel stung a moment, passing through the pants was like shoving your foot into a sack full of needles. You had to suck air through your teeth, tricking your mind into thinking it doesn't hurt at all. 

You pull the pants to your thighs and in one quick motion and stand on one foot tugging them up to your waistline and to your utter joy, they fit! Not only do they fit, but you also look hot! You grab your things and quickly limp back to your room to look into the mirror and check out your ass.

"Huh… not bad.." You smirk at your reflection. "Well, I better get down there." You grab your crutches and turn to leave the room but stop yourself. Are you in the same room? It’s sparkling clean! Your window is now open and the bed is made perfectly. "Levi…" you whisper to yourself, he must have cleaned up in here. 

Crutches under your arms, you open the door and hobble through the hall. You only made it a few steps till you are met with an even greater obstacle, the stairs. You stare them down with horror, how the hell are you gonna get down there!!!??

"Ms (Y/n)!" You flinch from the sound of someone behind you, "you're finally up!" you turn to see Jean smiling down at you. He's pretty tall, "how are you feeling?" He rubs the back of his neck, seeing you all stiff and speechless. "sorry, did I scare you?"

"Oh, Jean right?" you ask, relaxing your posture. He nods with a grin, happy you remembered him. "Not bad, heh oh and I'm a little jumpy please forgive me," you laugh half-heartedly. 

"Oh no, it's ok, don't apologize," Jean says, shaking his hands.

You nod and he grins back, you then look down at the steps and so does he.

"You need a lift?" He asks and you give him an awkward smile.

"Heh, if it's not too much trouble." 

"Nah, not at all," he says bending the knees to scoop you up.

"Oh!?" That was all you got out as your bridal carried down the steps, Jean let you down gently, at the bottom of the stairs, you giggled, fixing yourself with your crutches. "G, if I would have known you were around I would have come down for breakfast," you tease and he blushed. 

"It's almost lunchtime, you can find a seat at the table," he then runs off to do his daily training.

"Lunchtime?" You questioned aloud, "How long was I laying on the floor?" you question yourself before hobbling your way into the kitchen. 

Once in the kitchen, you see Sasha and Armin peeling potatoes. They hear the sound of your crotches against the hardwood floor and turn to you with kind smiles. 

"Oh, good afternoon!" Armin beams, "We're making shepherd's pie for lunch!"

You smile back as you give yourself a little pep talk in your head. 

Ok, you're gonna be kind and charming, you're gonna be friendly, but not too friendly and most importantly you won't piss off the Captain. Your pep talk in your head ends once you finally greet the Soldiers.

"Oh! that sounds delicious! Can I help with anything?" You inquire eagerly down to help.

"No that's ok, we have a rule here, if you're injured you are off the hook," Armin grins, "go ahead and sit at the table."

"Oh,” you said, trying to hide your disappointment, “Where are the others?" You ask, really only caring about one man in particular. 

"Mikasa and Eren are out Outside chopping firewood for the stove, with the Captain" Sasha answers, sneaking a potato into her pocket. Armin stops her swiftly and she pretends to put it back. “Jean and Connie are training somewhere around here,” Armin finishes his sentence.

"Wow, you guys are hard worken," you say using all your effort to shuffle your way to the open window. Leaning your crutches against the wall. Bum heel up off the ground. 

You take a look and there he is in all his sexual glory, Levi wielding an Axe splitting wood, and throwing them into a pile. He's changed since you last saw him, stripped of his scout Jacket, his sleeves rolled over his forearms and he's just swinging down effortlessly. 

You ogle at him from the window with no shame, he must have felt your eyes cuz he turned his head to look right in your direction. Igniting the fire between your legs with his glare.

You're caught! Oh well, you grin propping your arm on the windowsill to rest your cheek on your fist.

"Working hard or hardly working? Am I right?" You call out to him with a joking shrug.

He just looked at you with irritated confusion, 

"What?"

Eren and Mikasa look at their captain, from across the backyard. 

"It's an expression," Mikasa tells him, carrying far more wood than Eren.

Levi just places a hunk of wood on a stump, 

"Never heard it before," he says before swinging down.

Eren just stares at him with a stink face.

"Way to show your age, old man."

Levi's eyes dart to the boy and he flinches.

"What was that Yeager?!" Captain Levi barks, 

"Nothing Sir!" Eren says back, turning away from his glare and back to helping Mikasa with carrying lumber from the forest. 

Levi goes back to chopping wood he only stops when he hears you snorting as you try to hold in laughter. 

"Hey!" He shouts to you from across the yard, his hand on his hip, ax resting on his shoulder. Eyes narrowed on you. "Close the damn window and quit distracting my team."

"Sorry!" You say holding your side as you convulse from laughing, it hurts to laugh, but Levi is just so funny! You can't help it. You shut the door after one more quick glance at the angry micro lumberjack.

"Are you ok?" Armin asked, concerned. Seeing you barely able to breathe. He can't grasp why you're smiling so widely.

"Yeah!" You wheeze, "I just really shouldn't laugh," you said that while holding your breath.

"Please sit down, Ms (Y/n)" Armin frowns coming to your aid.

"Ok, ok," you breathe, getting back on your crutches. He walked behind you like a sheepdog herding you to the seat in hopes you would just stay there. You lean your crutches against your chair, and eye Armin as he walks back to the other end to get back to peeling with Sasha. 

You sat there no longer than two minutes, tapping your fingers on the table. You then got up, grabbed your crutches, and limped to the sink, washed your hands, dried them with the rag, and sat in a chair across from Armin and Sasha, you grabbed a potato and a knife and started peeling.

Armin looked displeased, 

"Wait, Ms (Y/n) Captain will-"

"Whatever Mr.Akermin does to me is fine, but I can't sit still,” you press, “doing nothing reminds me that it hurts to breathe. I gotta keep myself busy."

"But" Armin protests.

"It's ok," Sasha says, taking your side. "I'm sure it's fine since it helps her feel less pain."

Armin listens to Sasha but is still not a fan, 

"Ok… then.." He said with great hesitance. 

You smile happily peeling away and doing your part, you hate watching good people work while you sit in the watch, unless it's Levi in a dress, that you could watch all day.

"So Ms (Y/n)" Armin strikes the conversation, "We were told you and Levi are friends?"

"Oh!” you tense up, you really need to stop shouting, it makes the pain in your ribs much worse. “Uh, we are kinda friends… we ran into each other a lot and shared conversation time to time, were not that close though…" you lie, "like we barely know each other, I'd say I'm more of Hange's friend and met him through them at that little party your Commander put together."

“Wait! You were at that party? The one with the uh” he leans in to whisper with a slight blush in his cheeks, “dancers?”

You scoff with a grin, gazing at the blond you tilt your head,

“Armin, I was one of those Entertainers.”

Armin’s jaw slacks open, 

“I had no idea! Forgive me for not remembering you.”

Sasha shrugs,

“I don’t remember seeing you there, but the food was amazing!”

“That’s ok, I’m sure no one really remembers me, that was a couple of months ago anyway.”

Your eyes move for the two in front of you to their Captain, coming back inside from chopping all that wood. You gaze at him through half-lidded eyes. Imagining him, shirtless, sweat glistening off his body. 

"What do you think you doing Ms (Your last name)" he questioned, with his back to you, washing his hands in the kitchen sink. "You're injured, you're in no condition to be doing manual labor."

Armin and Sasha pretend to be in a different room as Levi scolds you. 

"Sorry, Mr. Akermin," you shrug, "If I sit still and do nothing I will be reminded of the pain in my side." 

"I see," Levi clenches his jaw, drying his hands before turning to face you, "Perhaps I should have been more clear with you," he says stepping towards you, you tilt your head curiously, absolutely thrilled with his tone. "You see you may be our guest but even so you become a part of our little community, so you help out when you're no longer in pain, you took those pills this morning, didn't you?"

"Yes, you advised me to take them," you said narrowing your eyes, there's a hint of rebellion in your tone, as soon as Levi heard it, his chest puffed out.

"So you're still in pain? You can help out when you're no longer popping pills, now drop the knife and give Armin the potato." 

You place the knife down and hand Armin your half-peeled potato. You then cross your arms and pout. 

Levi could see he upset you, but he didn't care, you have to be treated the same as the others. He also found your behavior cute and hopes you will seek to defy him again so he could keep having a reason to speak to you.

Levi turns away from you and squats down to start placing wood into the stove. He lights some paper and slips it in, blowing on it to bring the flame up. You close your eyes listening to Levi's breaths, it reminded you of his moaning and heavy breathing that night. He shuts the fire door once he gets it started and you jump from the force he used. Does the man know how to be gentle? He then stands at the table next to you to help cut onions. He was close enough where you could faintly smell his musk, you also caught hints of floral undertones, no doubt from his soap. You smelled this aroma on him a few times but now you must enjoy it in secret. Pretend your not leaning closer to him and tilting your head only to get a better whiff of his intoxicating scent. You set your eyes forward as if you're looking out the back door.

Levi purposely peels an onion and places it between you two, causing you to knock your head back then sit normally, covering your nose for a moment. 

This is uncomfortable, it’s been twenty minutes, Armin and Sasha have remained stiff in the presence of their Captain. They won't even speak, they just keep their heads down and work. Levi seems to be in a mood. Maybe it's because Eren reminded him of his age? Or maybe this is just who he is, you recall the first time you met him he acted a lot like this. Either way, you can’t go on with the silence.

You scan them to find a conversation starter, in that moment you notice Armin's constant attempts to move his hair out of his eyes while peeling.

"Armin, your hair is beautiful but, isn't it hard to see?"

"Yeah," he smiled embarrassedly, resisting the desire to mess with his hair, "I haven't had a chance to find a decent barber."

"Oh! I can cut hair, I'd be happy to give you a trim, or whatever you wanna try," you grin at the blond.

His eyes dilate at your offer, 

"Really? You would do that for me?"

"Of course!" You nod happily, "You guys have scissors?" 

"Yeah, actually we may have hair-cutting scissors in the bathroom." Armin thinks back. This is good news for him. He was close to chopping his own hair off last week.

"Oh! Could you cut mine too Ms (Y/n)?!” Sasha inquires, “I have a lot of split ends!"

"Sure!" You nod, "I can do it tonight after dinner!" 

The two looks pumped but hesitant to cheer, they turn their attention to their Captain, who just kept cutting away and plopping the ingredients into the pot between them. 

"Just clean up after yourselves," he says, still chopping. "Don't you dare let her sweep either?"

Your eyes set on Levi. How he chop the onions without crying or even wincing, while you're over here feeling the burn.

"You know, you could use one too Mr. Akermin" you grin, "Your hair gets any longer no one will be able to see your heartwarming glare."

"You'll get more than just a glare if you come anywhere near me with a pair of scissors Ms (Your last name)," The raven warns.

You roll your eyes,

"Please guys, call me just (Y/n) no need to be so formal."

"Yes Ma'am" Armin then chokes, "I mean (Y/n)."

You laugh, 

"I like you guys" you smile and so do they, besides Levi who keeps the same emotionless expression.

Lunch was finally ready and the others ran inside to wash their hands of dirt from the outside. 

You remained in the same seat, the others found spots at the table, Levi always sat at the head like the short king he is. 

Eren and Mikasa sat next to each other, across from them are Armin.

Eren gazed at you for a moment, you also caught him looking at you as he was gathering his food before sitting down. That could bring trouble since Mikasa basically pisses on the boy every day. 

"Those clothes look good on you Ms (Y/n) and it seems your face is looking less beat up."

"She wants to be called just (Y/n) Eren" Armin informs him and he nods.

"Oh, My bad," he said apologetically. "(Y/n)"

"No worries and Thanks," you said with a mouth full, you swallow and say, "the pants are Mikasa's," you give her your attention with an appreciative smile, "thank you! I was very happy to see I could fit into them."

She just nods, you can feel the jealousy on her when Eren complimented you. You are only interested in one Akermen's glare. 

"Oh, I couldn't tell they were Mikasa's, weird," Eren says, going back to eating.

You frown seeing Mikasa's head droop down to stare into her bowl with sad eyes. From what you gather Eren isn't too bright. This girl would ride him till his little eyes roll back into his skull and he has no idea!? 

"You know Mikasa" you rest your hand on your cheek, "you have an incredible body." 

Levi silently chokes on his tea, it was so quiet, not even you caught it.

Mikasa blushes at the compliment. Must not get them often. You keep going.

"You're very fit, you must have great discipline, I'm jealous, we're the same size yet you look so much better, you must have lovers all over you."

"What lovers?!" Eren and Jean said in unison,

You had to hide your smile, she is quite popular, yet she has no clue, they may be nineteen but they're still acting like kids, you giggle, they're just so delightful. 

"You think I look good?" Mikasa blushes, and you nod seeing her confidence rise.

"I'm truly in awe," you say before taking another bite. "She wooks good wright Eren?" You ask while chewing bread. 

He looks to Mikasa and shrugs,

"Yeah, I guess." 

Mikasa smiled like an idiot and you just swallow and look away, that's all that boy had to say? And it was shit too?! Young and dumb.

"I've been working out too!" Jean says flexing his muscles.

"Wow!" You say acting more impressed than you are, self-esteem is important, "you look ripped!" 

Jean smiled smugly, then Connie, not one to be out staged, started flexing too.

"Hey Check out these guns, Ms!" he announces in a gruff tone.

“It’s just (Y/n) Connie” Armin clarifies, not sure why everyone keeps dropping the ball, it’s not that hard to remember. 

Levi had enough,

He slams a fist on the table and everyone shuts up and sits back down to eat quietly. His glare then sets on you.

"Can you quit stirring up their hormones? They're hard enough to manage already. And don't talk when you eat, it's disgusting,” his eyes look away as his teacups up to his mouth, “No one wants to see your chewed-up food." 

"Oh," you caught yourself and swallowed down peas mixed with pie crust. Kinda embarrassed but not letting that bother you. "Sorry Mr. Akermin," you say, feeling a little bad, you may have awakened something in his comrades. They're all pretty hyped now. 

"Tch," Levi sips his tea as his comrades go on about workout routines and constantly try to one-up each other, the only one not looking for extra cleaning duties is Sasha, but Levi already set up her punishment for stealing potatoes.

Lunch came and went and so did dinner, you pretty much sat in the same spot, you used the bathroom twice, you're happy there's one on the first floor. Levi and his squad were in and out, cleaning and maintaining the place. 

They have an important meeting coming up in a few weeks so it looks like they are not traveling outside the wall as often. That and you're here so they want to protect you. But you do feel bad keeping them away from the Survey Corps main objectives. Hopefully, the other units can clue them in on new discoveries. You can only assume this meeting is about you, the ball is in a month, you have to see Hange so you can revisit the idea of being a part of the mission.

Later that night.

"Alright!" You said with a smile holding scissors, sitting on the table with Sasha on a stool between your legs. "You're all done!" You pull the towel off from around her and give it a shake, letting the loose hair drop to the floor.

Sasha beams quickly running to the mirror, 

"Oh, wow! It looks so healthy now!" She plays with it in her hands, "thank you!"

You wave your hand dismissively, 

"It was no problem!" You then set your sights on Armin who was talking to Connie and Jean, he looks at you nervously. "Your turn" you grin.

He swallowed thickly staring at the stool and you above it. Sitting there will put him basically in your arms that makes the shaggy blond nervous.

"Come on," you encourage him, patting the stool.

"You sure I won't hurt you?" He questions anxiously.

"Just mind my bum foot and I'll be fine, sit," you say and he gulps once more before walking over.

Armin sits down, very careful not to bump your heel, you start to brush his hair and you snip section by section.

"Can you turn to your side?" You ask, 

He nods and trembles as he swivels to his side on the stool, he was even more in shambles when he had to face you. You sniped away focusing on giving him a more adult look.

"You're about nineteen aren't you?" You ask and his eyes flash,

"Yes, how'd you know?" 

"Your features are looking more adult, but you still have a bit of a babyface," you say with a playful tone.

"Oh," he says, not sure what to do with that information.

"This haircut will help show your turning into quite the man," you muse, cutting another section of hair and snipping. "Ok turn away from me."

"Oh, ok…" he says swiveling again,

"Don't act so squeamish, Armin, I don't wanna cut you," your voice and he stiffens, now even more cautious.

"That's better," you say, finishing up, "Ok, do a slow spin for me."

He swivels himself on the stool till you're facing his back again.

"All done, and just as I thought," you lean down to wrap your arms around him, you just can’t help yourself when a squeamish sweet boy is this close in your grasp, "such a handsome young man."

Armin whimpers with nerves! Never has a woman touched him like this. 

"Uh, (Y/n)," his voice cracks, "you're gonna get my loose hair all over you." 

"Aw, Armin, don't be so scared, you're trembling like a leaf, I'm not that scary am I?" you say with a voice like velvet.

In that moment Levi walks into the room, takes one look at you then goes for the kettle in the kitchen. That's when you let go of Armin.

Armin out of sorts grabs a broom,

"Better cl-clean this up," he studards. "Th-thanks again for the haircut! I can see so much better now!" 

You yourself felt a slight startle, you placed your hands in your lap, holding the scissors. You were just playing around, Armin is just too fun not to tease. Hopefully, Levi could see that, or maybe he doesn't know you well enough to know when you're just seeing around?

"Your welcome Armin," you said very formally.

Levi walks over to the table with two cups of tea.

"Everyone hit the showers," he says, as he gently places the cups down near you. He then swiftly grabs the broom Armin was still using, locking eyes with the nervous blond. Armin instantly let’s go and follows the others upstairs. 

You reach for your crutches leaning against the end of the table and Levi grabs them before you could, he then moves them out of reach against the wall. 

"not you," he said sternly and you just sat there, feeling like a kid in time out.

"Uh, oh," you spoke sarcastically, to hide your real concern, "Am I in trouble?"

"Why must you horn them up?" Levi narrows his eyes at you, and you take a breath seeing he could tell you were just playing. "he's gonna be up all night discovering himself"

"You can't tell me that's not a problem." You say back, taking the tea closest to you to your lap. "Their adults that never felt a tender touch, it's sad, they should experience love and less anxiety."

"Anxiety keeps them alive," Levi adds, sweeping the hair into a dustpan left on the floor. "Why do you care so much? That was obviously not just you playing around, was it? You have some ridiculous desire to spread affection, why?"

"They risk their lives each day for humanity, they have to have something to look back on and smile about, I want to make them happy is all, you should have seen how excited Sasha got after her haircut." you smile thinking about it as you hand him the scissors. He pockets them and takes the dustpan to the garbage.

"Ah, and is that why you took so much interest in me?" He asks after washing his hands, leaning against the counter drying them, and eyeing you at the same time. "Because your little heart would break knowing I'd die with not a single happy memory to look back on?" 

"No," you shake your head, and he just crosses his arms, not believing you. "Everything I do with you is for my own selfish desires." Your voice with your hand on your heart.

"Heh, I find that hard to believe," Levi admits walking back to you, sitting on the stool in front of you, his eyes go to the left as he says, "I'm nothing special." 

You place your hands on his cheeks, Levi lets out a surprised breath, eyes locked to yours. 

"You are just as clueless as to the others." 

His eyes then glaze over. He's tired, you watch them look down at your lips.

"Your eyes are telling me a story, Levi." You flirt.

He removes your hands from his face, 

"Refrain from touching me so inappropriately Ms (Your last name)"

"Right, sorry I forgot!" You say blushing, holding your side from your outburst.

Levi slumps over, he needs to change the subject.

"Tch, Poor blondie,” He scoffs, “kinda feel bad for him." 

"Oh, Armin is incredibly fun,” you giggle, “You saw how he Studdard and shook, it was adorable, but of course you know that don't you?" You tease.

"I wouldn't call it cute but it is entertaining…" Levi crosses his arms sitting up on the stool,  
his eyes go to the left thinking about his comrades. "Eren’s a hothead that needed discipline and Armin’s a genius that lacked the confidence, I'd have to shout at him just to get him to speak to me."

You grin at the man as he chats it up with you. Like everything was back to normal. 

"You have a soft spot for these kids."

"They’re like a bunch of Tumors," Levi takes a sip of his tea, "they grow on you" 

"Daddy Levi" you tease him earning yourself a glare.

"Don't call me that," he demands.

You laugh and he scoffs, pulling the scissors out of his pocket to look at them. 

“My mother used to cut my hair…” he said quietly, you silenced your laughter to give him your attention.

“I’m guessing she was the last too, beside yourself that is.”

Levi nods,

“I used to hate it, she would pull on my hair too hard and get too close to my skin, leading to accidental cuts,” Levi kept his eyes on the scissors, not sure if he could face you while telling you about his mother, “each time she would lie and say it won’t hurt and like the dumb kid I was, I’d believe her, but it always came out looking good, It took me a while to get it right,” he grips a strand of his hair in front of his face, looking at it with content, “I got the hang of it eventually...” 

“She sounds like a cunning woman, to trick you every time” you joke and he blew air some out of his nose with a small smile. 

Then there's this moment of just looking into each other’s eyes. Levi's takes a look at your stitched eyebrow. 

"That's gonna scar, but not too bad," he says and you sigh.

"Yeah, surprised it took this long to get one on my face, I got tons on my back," 

"I have one," he admits, before taking another sip of his tea.

Your eyes gleam with curiosity. 

"Well show me" you beg.

Levi places his cup down and slowly unbuttons his shirt and you could have sworn you heard wedding bells, he turns in the stool to show you a small scar on his upper back, "Got it from getting caught stealing, I was eight, that was the last time though, getting caught I mean."

You eye the small jagged scar, Levi stiffens when you trace it with your finger. 

You smiled, you're getting little pieces of his childhood, he’s opening up to you! Levi quickly got his shirt back on and turned back to you. 

"Where was your uncle?" Your question.

"When I showed him he laughed and said, "I've taken shits bigger than that."

"Hahaha!" You laugh, gripping at your side, "He sounds like quite the role model" 

Levi scoffed out a laugh, eyes on the way you held your side.

"The man had his moments."

"I used to run away from the brothel, when I got caught they would whip me, and not in a fun way."

"How many times did you run?" Levi asked,

"Six times, each time it was on my birthday,"

"Why your birthday?"

"Men always wanted the birthday girl, it was the hardest time of year to talk me out of being serviced, my thirteenth was a nightmare, I’m so grateful for the queen gathering the kids up from the underground, it’s a relief these little girls don’t have to suffer the same fate as me."

Levi’s brows furrowed with confusion.

"Don't you at least have a say on who your customers are? My mom turned men down all the time."

"Your mother picked the profession, I was sold into it,” you explain, “I never got paid I was trafficked, that's why I taught myself how to sing and dance, how to entertain, It kept me off my back and strapped to a bed, while some perverted geezer drools all over-" your knock your head back to look at the ceiling, eyes wide, attempting to stop them from watering. 

Levi looked away feeling rather pale. He had a hard life in the underground, but he had Kenny, you had no one, yet you still came out with a smile on your face.

"I'm sorry… I do understand a little more about why you got into the business of degrading men. You have to hate them all,” he narrowed his eyes filled with empathy. “I don't blame you for that."

"Ha, that's a story for another day but," you give his hand a squeeze, "I don't hate all men, I definitely don't hate you."

"Well keep misbehaving and you will learn to hate me," Levi retorts, taking his hand back, sipping his tea, hiding the blush on his face. You two shared a lot just now, he’s unsure what he should do next. 

"Oh, not a chance, I'm rebellious at heart"

Levi scoffs with a smirk. 

Suddenly there's a noise coming from the stairs. You two turn to see Jean with a towel over his head. 

"Oh, good you're still down here (Y/n),” he grins in your direction, Captain Levi just sips his tea, acting like his usual unreachable self. “I wanted to make sure you got up the stairs ok." 

"Oh, Jean! You're a gentleman with good timing" you say giving him finger guns, kinda off guard by the intrusion. You then yawn as Levi gets up to grab your crutches and helps you up. "Goodnight Mr. Akermen,” you simper, “sleep well" 

Levi eyes Jean then you, 

"Goodnight Ms (Your last name),” he crosses his arms, “don't forget to take your pills."

You nod and hobble over to Jean who picks you up and walks up the steps. 

….

-One Week Later-

This afternoon you find yourself outside in the back of HQ, on a blanket leaning against a tree. The weather is perfect. The birds are chirping and there’s a delightful breeze that shakes the leaves of the trees. You're in the company of your new friends, Armin, Jean, Sasha, and Connie. Eren and Mikasa are sparring as you play chess with Armin. It's Sunday and an off day for the scouts. A day they gladly spend with their families and even with you. You felt very flattered that anyone so important would waste their day off with you.

"Checkmate!" You announced smugly. 

Armin and the gang are shook, no one has ever beaten Armin! Besides Late Commander Erwin and Commander Hange. 

"Woah! What was your strategy?!" Armin questioned with big eyes. 

"Oh, I evaluated your past wins and found a pattern, it's important to mix it up, being comfortable leaves you vulnerable not to mention predictable."

Armin took what you say to heart, you could tell by the time he spent thinking about it.

"Good game (Y/n)!” he beams, “I feel I can learn a lot from you!" 

"And I, you Armin, now tell me more about the sea."

Asking Armin such a vague question may have been a mistake, especially since you popped your pills an hour ago and they're starting to make you drowsy. Sasha, Connie, and even Jean who piggybacked you half the way here left thirty minutes ago to do laundry. You held your yawns the whole time. The conversation was thrilling, you did have great interest. 

*yawn* you cover your mouth embarrassed. Armin paused to eye you.

"Forgive me, Armin, I am hella interested in the sea. It's the pills,” you rub your eyes, “they make me drowsy."

"Oh, Don't apologize it's ok! I was rambling anyway, so what do you think?"

"I'd love to see the ocean someday!" You answer scratching your head. 

"Will take you there soon (Y/n)" Eren chimes in now joining you two on the large blanket. Mikasa sat down as well. 

"Oh Eren, Mikasa! You guys looked badass out there!" You compliment them, "you really think you could take me there? Civilians aren't allowed outside the walls."

"Well yeah! Someday for sure!" Eren promises.

"Eren, don't promise her that" Armin frowned, "we don't know that for sure."

"Lighten Armin, I'm sure it will be fine" Eren grins, patting his friend on the shoulder.

Mikasa fell bored watching her closest friends bicker, she decided to open a conversation with you.

"It's nice out today isn't it?" she gives you a little smile.

"Hm!" You look at her and beam, "oh yeah! It's damn gorgeous! I'm surprised Mr. Akermen isn't out here."

"Mr… oh you mean Captain Levi" Mikasa blinks. 

"Yeah, is it weird to call him that? I know you all address him as your captain, I'd feel weird calling him that…" you laugh a little, rubbing the back of your neck.

"Well about a couple of years ago Captain discovered that he was an Akerman,” Mikasa points out.

"Really?!"

She nods,

“I guess we’re related somehow, but I still see him as Captain Levi, nothing really changed.” The raven-haired girl explained.

Your eyes filled with interest from the news, which woke your ass up quick. "I had no idea,” you frown, holding your hands in your lap, “poor guy went through most of his life not knowing who he was."

"I'm not all that sure it bothered him," Eren shrugged, "Not much bothers him, except dirt, he found out he was an Akerman by his Uncle, who by the way he had no idea was his uncle. He seemed fine to me," Eren shugs.

"You can't really think that,” you cross your arms, kinda upset with the Burnetes assumption. "Levi is human. I’m sure not knowing himself was difficult for him." You sigh as the wind politely blows in your face. "You know I'm also from the underground." Gasps filled the air around you, "you could say that's how Mr. Akermen and I found such an odd friendship. Weather like this for someone who's lived in the dank darkness is a treasure."

"I had no idea.” Eren looked down at the blanket feeling bad for what he’s said, “But to be fair, Captain never really expresses feelings to us, even after all this time he is still hard to read.”

“He’s probably keeping a distance because of the losses he’s endured,” you explained, then stopped yourself when you notice them all listening to your every word, Levi probably doesn't want you talking about him in this light. “We should stop talking about this,” you say flatly, “Mr Akermen isn't here to defend himself, I don’t know him well enough to vouch for his feelings. Forget I said anything.” You say with a slight blush. 

“(Y/n) also coming from the underground, definitely helps me understand the connection to your friendship with the Captain." Armin rubbed his chin thoughtfully. “It was hard to see him making connections with anyone, not in the Scouts.”

“If there are really friends then how come she always calls him by his last name?” Eren tilts his head speaking with an attitude.

“Probably because they had to change their roles now that she lives with us?” Armin pondered. “Is that right (Y/n)?” he looks to you for an answer. 

“Uh I guess that’s basically right,” you fake smile, Levi was right about Armin, the kid is smart.

“Ha! Bet he told her to call him that so he could keep up his cool aloofness around us.” Eren jeers.

“The Captain doesn't care about that kind of stuff Eren,” Armin argues. “Right (Y/n)?”

You stare at Armin with an open mouth, Levi would not like you to talk about him like this with his subordinates. Though you think Eren is a hundred percent correct you can’t dare agree with him. 

“We're still talking about this?” you fake smile, hoping their teenage brains will bring up a new subject, one that has nothing to do with Levi. 

Something by your hip caught Mikasa’s attention, 

“Oh, I didn’t know you liked to read,” Mikasa eyes the book next to you and you do as well.

Armin also brought his attention to the book,

“Oh, (Y/n) was reading that when we initially came over, I hope we didn’t interrupt you,” Armin said politely.

“Not at all Armin, I was happy for the company,” you pick the book up to read the title, “I've read this thing five times now,” you say holding your cheek as you blush and smile.

“It must be good,” Armin tilts his head curiously, “What's it about?” 

“It’s kinda like a very detailed romance novel,” you grin still holding your face, feeling the warmth of your left cheek.

Eren made a face of disgust,

“Boring, it’s a lame book for girls!” 

“Don’t be rude Eren” Armin scolds and you just laugh.

“haha, oh no you misunderstand me Eren," you say with a devilish grin, "this is nothing like those romance novels, there is love sure but it's twisted, complicated and some even say taboo.." You snicker, gathering their attention.

"What's the plot?" Mikasa questioned and you just spark.

"Well this story followers five people in their journeys to discovering themselves." 

"So adventure?" Armin questions.

"Not exactly, let me explain, one of our main galls has a best friend, he's a year or so older but she loves him to tears, one night she goes to confess her love at a party they attended, some back alley social, not one of those ball gala types. Our brave girl searches for her crush after he said he was going to use the bathroom, he took a rather long time." You wiggle your eyebrows, "on her search she finally finds him. But he wasn't alone!"

Eren scoffs.

"Another girl to girl battle"

"No! He was with a man! A sexy man, one of our other main characters!” you say having to hold your side, your enthusiasm is too much for your bruised body. “Turns out they've been secretly together, their families are sworn enemies so their love has to be secret."

"Oh, poor girl" Armin frowns, "she must have been heartbroken," 

You chuckle.

"Nope! Turns out this was an awakening for her, watching them together excited her so much she masturbates quietly behind the door." 

Armin instantly blushes unsure what to do with his hands. Eren quickly snatched the book to inspect it. He then gasps.

"(Y/n)! This is an erotic novel! Where the hell did you find it!?"

You shrug.

"In a drawer that said "do not touch! Forbidden!" You say that with a low voice. 

Armin takes the book from Eren seeing he was quickly skimming it for the dirty parts.

"Eren! This is a naughty book!" he blushes with a crack in his voice.

Eren then fights for the book back, that's when Jean comes from behind to grab it, he stands up to read it while wrestling Eren away from him.

"Oh fuck!" He drops it and Mikasa picks it back up, Sasha gnawing on a potato, leans over her shoulder to read it. "EREN! YOU PERVERT! I'M SO TELLING THE CAPTAIN" Jean shouts and your stomach drops, this became bigger than you.

"Hey guys, uh, this stuff isn't bad," you said trying to get them to stop fighting. "No one needs to get the Captain involved, hehe!" 

"But it's full of…." Armin then whispers, "you know..."

"Sex?" You said aloud and they all shuddered, Eren covered his face and Armin his ears, Jean stood there terrified, Mikasa and Sasha just flipped through the pages. 

"Is this really how it works?" Mikasa asks with one brow raised, 

"I like the part with the strawberries!" Sasha adds, "what's an aphra-, Aphro-, A-ph-rodisiac?" Sasha squints trying to sound out the word.

"Hm?" You lean in to read the page, "uh, as long as it's consensual yeah, but usually, the first time is more vanilla, like missionary, and an aphrodisiac is a substance that increases sexual desire you can find them in foods and plants."

Mikasa darts her eyes back and forth, from Eren and the book. Sasha just stares her potato down, very lost and unsure what to do with what she just learned. 

"Guys" you laugh, "come on, this can't be the first time you're hearing about this? I mean your nearly in your twenties."

"I mean we kinda know…" Eren says shyly. 

"I know all about the stuff!" Jean lies, "I do it all the time!" He says smugly and you just grimace.

"The Only action you ever saw was in a stable,” Eren jabs, “horse face!"

The two then fight as Mikasa talks to you about what she’s heard on the subject.

"There was this one girl in a different squad who got pregnant," Mikasa explained, "she said they pulled out so she's not sure how she got pregnant,” she then asks you bluntly, “What is a pull-out?"

Your eyes popped with horror as you covered your gaped mouth, shock just surges through you.

"No one has given any of you the talk?" you ask with the most serious face you could fathom. 

"What talk? We get briefed practically every day" Eren groans with an eye roll. 

"I never needed the talk" Jean smirks, "I already knew all about it." 

You smack your forehead, then rub the sting off your face.

"Nope! This can't go on!" You say with determination.

"What do you mean (y/n)?" Shasha tilts her head curiously, still munching on her potato.

"Ok, who wants to run an errand for me?” you ask desperately. “I promise to pay you back!"

"I'll do it!" Jean jumps eagerly to help you. 

You just stare at him thinking there's no way he would be able to buy condoms, he'd chicken out before he could make it to the shopkeeper.

"Sasha?" You turn to her, out of all of them Sasha is your closest friend, you two spend a good amount of time together. Hange you'd argue is closer but they aren't here at this moment. "Can you pick this up?" You write her a little list and she takes it. 

"Of course!” she says like you just gave her an important task, “I'll be right back!"

"Armin," you call to him and he jumps, just a ball of nerves.

"Yes?!" He squeaks.

"You've read the military handbook?"

"Front to back three times!" he shouts, unsure why his volume got so high.

"Great I have some questions."

-

The breeze calls to Levi from inside HQ. He did enough paperwork today. This past week has not been easy for him. Meetings with Zackly and the Commanders of the scouts, garrison, and military police. Having to listen to the report Hange wrote. Having to think of you in that alley all alone as these men violently attack you. It's too much and he’s a little worried about why he cares so much. 

Levi just wants to enjoy the weather, maybe have some tea outside with you, it's too nice of a day for you not to be outside. The raven finds himself walking through the grass looking for you. 

His eyes catch a large gathering in the grass next to a tree. He squints to see what all the commotion is about. Looks like his entire squad is sitting there and the one in the middle, talking loud enough for all to hear was no other than you. Banana in hand. He’s happy to see you're able to speak with such volume without hurting yourself, but he has a feeling that what you're preaching to his subordinates isn’t anything good. He crosses his arms, the closer he gets the more he can hear and the more his face twists. 

"Ok! So that's why we always wanna use a condom!" You announce to the crowd, "chances of getting STDs like trichomoniasis, herpes, gonorrhea, and chlamydia are greatly reduced when using condoms. It also prevents baby making!"

Your body aches from the feeling of being watched, you lift your chin to see Levi glaring you down from across the field, you just smile and play innocent while holding your banana. 

"Ah, Mr. Akermen!" You grin, waving him over. "Would you like to volunteer for my next segment?" You hold up a piece of paper, "I wrote a script!"

"What is the meaning of this!" Levi glares, he then spots Hange sitting in the crowd. "Commander?!" 

Hange smiles up at him and says. 

"Ah! Captain Levi! Glad you could join us! I saved you a seat," they pat a spot on the grass next to them, "(y/n) is doing great up there! And she's free! The taxpayers can rest easy tonight!"

"You!” he points at you and you gasp. “Grab your crutches and come with me!" Captain Levi demands and you calmly wobble to your feet using the tree as support before reaching for your crutches. 

"Short recces Scouts,” you smile as if nothing’s wrong, “I'll be back to show you how to put a condom on properly so please stay seated, Hange will quiz you!" You say looking to them. 

"Uh, yeah!” they nod, “Ok first question!"

While Hange stalled you managed to crutch your way to Levi who stood there arms crossed most unhappy.

"Levi I can explain," you say honestly but he doesn't wanna hear it.

"Do you live and breathe to defy me?" He scowls and you just blink.

"Uh, no?"

"Really? Because I recall telling you not to excite them, and what did you do? You throw condoms at them, basically telling them all to fuck each other like some disgusting child orgy."

"Woah! Ok, let me stop you there Mr. Akermen" you say trying to defuse the situation. "Your squad is no longer kids, they need to know about safe sex, and from the question, I’ve gotten today your lucky no one's pregnant or suffering from STDs."

"I need them to focus on not dying outside the walls," Levi argues. "This is nothing but a distraction."

"I understand your feelings Sir, I made sure all that I taught wasn't going against your handbook’s rules.” you explain, “I pressed on how these are activities to do while off work and never to do while deployed as the book says!"

"You're poisoning them, you know that?" Levi complains and you can't hold back anymore.

"Poisoning?!” you shout, holding your side, “Ok Mr. Akermen how many scouts end up pregnant? Or suffer from sexual illness?" You ask defensively and he thinks it over.

"Petra was pregnant,” he frowns, “Oulu and her fucked around occasionally but that was on them for not using protection." He says hand on hip.

"Oh? And who told them what protection even was?” you retort, “These kids come into your care at the age of what? Fifteen?! You and the older scouts are their role models, clearly, they had no way of knowing since no one taught them." Your voice, practically fuming.

Levi crossed his arms looking to the left, pouting. He felt backed into a corner, you gave him valid points and you have the Commander on your side, he has no say and frankly, you're making sense.

"Fine,” he closes his eyes annoyed, “I am man enough to agree our health education is lacking… but these are regular kids who weren't raised in a brothel, so please don't gluten their heads with lewd information."

"I won't, it's only educational," you nod with a smile, happy you won this argument, and Levi sighs unhappily he lost. "Sit with us and listen in,” you add, “if I ramble on about something too provocative then by all means stop me."

"Fine," the raven gives in. "I'll babysit you." 

"Great!" You smile still holding the banana, limping back to your spot on the blanket. "Ok, so let’s put this thing on!" You grin, slowly sitting back down, turning down help from the few in front of you. 

"Now remember consent is key, it's everything! No! Means no! Love isn't about taking, it's about giving." You smile at the crowd.

Levi sat down next to Hange who leaned over to them. 

"She is amazing! Has a real knack with people!"

"Shh!" Levi shooshes them, never keeping his eyes off you.

He watches as you demonstrate opening a condom, and how to properly apply it to the banana, watching you roll the condom down the banana like it was a shaft had him feeling a certain way. Like how badly he wishes to be that banana. He pouts arms crossed scowling. 

"Now lube could be helpful for the first time, you or your partner could be dry and that's nothing to be embarrassed about.” You say honestly. “Id best recommend foreplay to relax them or yourself, and get them or you ready to take in some kind of size. No matter what sexual act you and your partner are participating in, you always want to be on the same page. Communicate and be understanding of their needs and always use protection! I can't stress that enough, the pull-out method is only 78% effective, those odds sound good right? Wrong!" You shout and cough from the pain in your side. "You can't fight the good fight if you're pregnant, the handbook says you will be on some kind of desk duty! That’s nine months of desk duty!!" You shout even louder trying to get your point across. Clamping down at your side, one eye clamped shut as you wince.

Levi didn’t want to admit it but, you looked good up there, all confident and passionate about what you're saying. It’s embarrassing but this was the only sexual education he has gotten, and he joined the Scouts far older than the others. So he can’t really blame the system, he can only blame himself for not caring enough. But even so, it’s not like he was practicing anything that you just discussed. 

You finish your lesson and at this time you refrain from shouting and take some questions. 

Thirty Minutes Later-

"Phew! That was a lot," you say with a yawn, leaning your back against the tree. "I'm so exhausted after all that, I wish I brought a pillow." You whine. 

"Are you getting tired (Y/n)?" Mikasa questioned. She, Armin, and Eren are all that's left after your little meeting. Levi and Hange are still outside doing their own thing, Levi is scolding Hange as she plays with your condom-covered banana prop.

"Yeah, I thought I was fine but the pills can really knock me out sometimes,” you yawn again, “It's annoying, I'm gonna stop taking them after this dose." You say before stretching.

"You can rest on my lap if you like" Mikasa offers.

"Oh I couldn't," you say rubbing your eyes, "you'd be here for at least two hours."

"I'll gently remove myself once you fall into a deep sleep" Mikasa insists.

You had no idea she could be so nice.

"Oh, well alright," you shrug then she positions herself behind you, sitting on her calves. You lean yourself down gently to her lap. 

You close your eyes focusing on the sound of the trees shaking the leaves in the air, the voices of the group chatting above you become muddled and the unsettling feeling of shadows looming over you had you trembling, you could feel yourself becoming unhinged. Mikasa could too.

"(Y/n)? Are you alright?" She asks, concerned, “you’re trembling.”

You opened your eyes then quickly closed them, your mind was sending you back to the alley, a place you wished not to see. You need to calm down.

"As embarrassing as it is to admit, I may need some help calming down," you say gripping your chest, trying to relax your breath and mind, the bigger they are and the longer you pay attention to them the more painful they will be. "Could you run a hand through my hair?"

"Uh, like this?" She asked, gently caressing your scalp and lightly brushing your hair with her fingers.

You nod frantically. 

"Yes, just like that, doing something like this is a good way to calm an anxious person, it's also a good way to show affection." You point out and Mikasa took that to heart, thinking maybe Eren would like to be calmed in such away. 

"What else helps?" Armin eagerly questioned. 

-

Levi's brows furrow from a sudden feeling, he places a hand on his head.

"You ok Captain?" Hange inquires.

"Hm? Yeah, I think I have a headache coming on" he says squinting.

-

You open one eye then close it as you answer Armin.

"When someone feels major discomfort such as an anxiety attack or a panic attack it's best to remain calm and create a safe environment, talking them down with good conversation can keep their mind from racing." you take another breath, letting the fear pass. "Phew, I feel better now, thanks, you guys. I caught myself early, it seems that talking about it helped me out."

"Thank you for telling me that, I think it will be useful for our Soldiers," Armin adds.

"I agree, if you ever wanna talk guys I'm always around, I'm a certified therapist after all," you said while drifting off. 

-

"You need an aspirin?" Hange asks and Levi Shakes his head, relaxing his shoulders.

"It passed," he said, wondering what brought that on, he then turned to you, sleeping on Mikasa's lap. You look peaceful. His squad seems to have taken a liking to you. Maybe he’s overreacted earlier, he will make it up to you when he and the squad go to see the orphans tomorrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not very spicy, but sweet and fluffy, We made a cake today and there's nothing wrong with that, will get to eat it too in the next one ;3
> 
> Not sure if that made sense, but I'm tryna say Smut NSFW in the next Chapter!! Thanks for reading!!
> 
> Just wanna clarify, Levi wont get headaches like Mikasa. I wanna say its more of a instinct kinda thing he mistakes for a potential headache, idk still tryna figure out how i want that to go.


End file.
